[Quantum 01.0 - 03.0] Boxed Set Read online

  “So it seems. She actually bit me and drew blood the day I met Natalie.”

  “I might’ve heard about that.”

  “Hayden’s been telling tales out of school again, huh?”

  “I’ll never reveal my sources.”

  My best friend and business partner is crazy about Addie, not that he’ll ever admit it to himself or to her. I suspect the attraction runs both ways, but Addie doesn’t talk about him to me, and I don’t ask.

  I run my fingers through my hair repeatedly until I’m certain it has to be standing straight up. “Tell me what to do here, Addie. I’m at a total loss.”

  “Just be there for her. She needs to know nothing has changed for you because of what happened today.”

  “I’ve told her that already. I don’t know if she believes me.”

  “Keep telling her until there can be no doubt.”

  “I never expected to feel this way about anyone.”

  Addie smiles at my confession. “It happens to the best of us.”

  “I can’t lose her over this. I just can’t.”

  “You won’t. When the dust settles, and it will, she’ll remember that you were with her through it all. That’ll matter.”

  While I appreciate Addie’s vote of confidence, I wish I could be more certain that Natalie and I will get through this intact. How long will it take for her to blame me for ruining everything for her?

  Chapter 2

  I’ve wondered at times what it might be like if my secrets were revealed, but nothing could’ve prepared me to have the scab ripped off my wounds so suddenly and violently.

  I feel violated all over again.

  Fluff goes right into caretaker mode, licking away my tears the way she has since the beginning of my long nightmare. I’m happy to see Leah, my friend and roommate, but I can tell she has no idea what to say to me.

  “I… um, for what it’s worth, everyone is pissed at Mrs. Heffernan for firing you,” Leah says. “My phone has been buzzing nonstop with texts from school. Sue even threatened to quit unless she hires you back.” Sue is the administrative assistant who runs the office at the Emerson School where Leah and I are first-year teachers.

  Or I was until earlier today when I was fired for lying on my background check and for causing a disturbance at school. As if I invited the throngs of reporters to stake out my school hoping for a glimpse of me in my humiliated state.

  “I know you don’t want to talk about it, and I totally respect that,” Leah says haltingly, “but I need you to know how sorry I am for everything you’ve been through, and how sorry I am for mocking you for being so virtuous all those times. I didn’t know, Nat.”

  Her voice breaks, and I see she’s on the verge of tears.

  I take hold of her hand. “Please don’t apologize. You didn’t know because I didn’t tell you or anyone. I wanted to forget it ever happened, but I found out today how easily the past can catch up to us.”

  “Flynn must be dying over this.”

  “He blames himself. It’s not his fault.”

  “You can see how he’d think so. I mean, before you met him, no one would’ve cared about your past.”

  “It’s still not his fault. He’s almost as upset as I am.”

  “You might have to keep telling him you don’t blame him.”

  I’m so tired. Whatever the doctor gave me to help me sleep is kicking in, and I’m having trouble keeping my eyes open.

  “I’m going to leave and let you sleep. Can I call you tomorrow?”

  “I wish you would.” I squeeze her hand. “Thanks for bringing Fluff over.”

  “I was just glad to be able to do something for you.”

  “Leah…” I force my eyes open to look up at her. “You’ve been the best friend I’ve had since my life fell apart. I just want to thank you for that.”

  “Oh God, Nat, I’ve been an awful friend to you, always pushing you to step outside your comfort zone—”

  “No, you’ve been wonderful, and most of what you said is true. It’s real between us, despite our differences. You have no idea how much I loved our normal, humdrum lives in that apartment.”

  Leah wipes tears from her face. “You won’t be able to come back now, will you?”

  “I have no idea what I’m going to do. Everything is a huge mess. I don’t know how I’ll be able to make the rent without a job.”

  “The rent has been paid for both of you for the rest of the year,” Flynn says from the doorway. “I’ve also arranged for security for Leah until things die down.”

  I can’t believe what I’m hearing. “You… you paid our rent for a year?”

  “Yes, I did, and don’t try to tell me I shouldn’t have. None of this would be happening if you hadn’t met me. Paying your rent and making things easier for both of you is the least I can do in light of the trouble I’ve caused you.”

  I hold out my hand to Flynn. “Come here.”

  Leah gets up to make room for Flynn to sit next to me on the bed.

  “It’s not your fault. You didn’t do this to me.”

  Leah clears her throat. “I’m, ah, gonna go and give you guys some time alone. I’ll call you tomorrow?”

  “Sounds good. If you see my kids… Tell them I love them.” The thought of never seeing them again is the worst part of a heartbreaking day.

  “I will. I’ll get your stuff from your classroom, too.” She starts to leave, but turns back. “I hope you know—you getting fired over this—it’s a lawsuit in the making. She had no right.”

  “Trust me,” Flynn says, “I’ve got lawyers all over it. If there’s any way to make it happen, we’ll get Natalie her job back.”

  “Good. Try to get some sleep. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”

  “Thanks again for bringing Fluff.” At the sound of her name, my beloved dog raises her head to see what’s going on before she goes back to snoring contentedly in my arms.

  After Leah is gone, I return my attention to Flynn. “Thank you for letting me have Fluff here.”

  “You can have whatever you want. Don’t you know that by now?”

  “Still… She’s not very nice to you, and now she’s in your bed.”

  “So are you. If I have to take the bad with the good…”

  Despite the attempt at humor, he looks so sad and undone. I hate being the cause of that. I take hold of his hand and link our fingers. “It’s not as bad as it was before.”

  “What isn’t?”

  “All of it. The last time my life blew up in my face, I was very much alone. This time, I have you and Leah and Addie and everyone you have helping us.”

  “You’re far from alone,” he says fiercely, his brown eyes shimmering with love and intensity. “I’d kill for you, Natalie.”

  “Please don’t do that. I need you right here with me, not doing hard time.”

  He raises our joined hands to his lips and runs them over my knuckles. I love the feel of his stubble against my skin. He’s so fierce and beautiful, and he’s shown how much he loves me with the way he’s cared for me tonight.

  “Come to bed with me.”

  Fluff’s low growl is full of warning, and I can’t help but laugh at how ridiculous she’s being.

  “It’s nice to hear you laugh.”

  I pick up Fluff and move her to the side he’s currently occupying. “I think it’s safe.”

  He gets up and goes around to the other side, takes off his jeans and gets back into bed.

  Fluff starts barking frantically when he snuggles up to me.

  I find the whole thing ridiculously funny and can’t stop laughing. And then I’m crying again as I recall that I have nowhere to be tomorrow, that my kids won’t understand why I’m not there, that the entire world is hearing about my sordid past and dragging Flynn’s name through the mud, too.

  “Nat,” he says with a sigh. “Come here.”

  I leave Fluff to her rage and turn toward Flynn. As much as I love Fluff, I need Flynn’s comfort t
he most right now. He wraps his arms around me, and I make myself comfortable in his embrace.

  Then he jolts and lets out a cry of pain. “Shit!”

  “What happened?”

  “She bit me. Again.” He holds up his hand to show me the red marks, but fortunately there’s no blood this time.

  “Fluff! No! No biting!” I sit up and turn to my obstinate little dog. “No, no!” She gives me a look that tells me she isn’t sorry and she’ll do it again if the opportunity presents itself. “I’m so sorry.” Turning back to Flynn, I find him laughing.

  “What is so funny?”

  “She totally gave you a ‘fuck you’ look.”

  His accurate assessment makes me laugh, too. “She’s awful! You shouldn’t have to be worried about getting bit in your own bed.”

  “So much I could say to that…”

  “Flynn! I’m being serious. She’s out of control.”

  “She’s protective of you. I respect that.” He holds out his arms to me. “Come back.”

  Pointing a finger at Fluff, I use my sternest voice when I tell her, “No biting. Or else.”

  “I’m incredibly turned on right now. Will you chastise me sometime?”

  His irreverence makes me laugh, and I forget, for a moment, about the nightmare my life has become.

  Back in his arms, I try to settle the turmoil inside me so I can rest. At some point in the last few days, his scent has become the scent of home to me. His chest has become my favorite place to lay my head, and wrapped up in his embrace, I find my happy place. Even in the midst of my worst nightmare, I feel safe and loved because of him.

  The medication the doctor gave me is dragging me under, but I can’t sleep until he knows how I feel. “Flynn?”

  “What, honey?”

  “I just want you to know… I’ve been afraid of this happening for so long, I don’t remember not being afraid of it. But being here with you… I’d be losing my mind if it weren’t for you telling me it’s going to be okay.”

  “It is going to be okay. I promise you that. I don’t want you to worry about anything. Close your eyes and go to sleep. I’ll be right here with you.”

  I want to talk to him. I want to be with him. But I can’t fight the effects of the medicine any longer. “Love you,” I whisper.

  “I love you, too. More than anything in this world.”

  I want to find the bastard who did this to her and fucking kill him with my own hands, but not until I make him suffer. I’m so full of rage, I don’t know what to do with it. And with Natalie sleeping in my arms and her wildebeest of a dog snoring on the other side of her, there’s nothing I can do but fume.

  I’m awake most of the night thinking about what needs to be done. When my tired brain can’t take another second of thinking about the hell I’ve brought down on the woman I love, I let my mind wander and revisit the time I’ve spent with her. From that first fateful meeting in the park in Greenwich Village to this past weekend in Los Angeles, it’s been a whirlwind of romance and passion and desire.

  I never expected to fall in love like this. After my marriage ended, I was happy to be a jaded, cynical playboy who went through women the way other men go through beer. I worked hard, and I fucked harder—as much and as often as I could. Weekends at Club Quantum were my reward for hard work. The BDSM club I started with four of my closest friends and colleagues was at the center of my life until I met Natalie and decided I need her more than I need the lifestyle.

  Last weekend, she told me she’d been raped. Hearing that, I knew there was no chance of ever introducing my dominant side to her. So it had come down to a choice—her or the lifestyle. I’d chosen her. I’d choose her every time. I need her more. It’s that simple.

  She’s everything I didn’t know I needed until she literally slammed into me and turned my life upside down. And now I’ve returned the favor by ruining the life she’s worked so hard to build for herself.

  By the time the sun comes up, I’m no closer to knowing what to do to fix this than I was before. Natalie is still sound asleep, but I need to do something—anything—so I get up, take a shower and pull on sweats and a long-sleeve T-shirt.

  Addie, who spent the night on the sofa in my office, is already up and has coffee ready. She hands me a mug with cream and a touch of sugar, just the way I like it. “You need to see this.” She hands me her phone.

  I’m scared to look. “Tell me it didn’t get worse overnight.”

  “Just read it.”

  It’s a tweet from my best friend and business partner, Hayden Roth. Some things are none of our goddamned business. #TeamNatalie #NoneOfOurBusiness

  I’m incredibly moved by my friend’s gesture. He hasn’t been Natalie’s biggest fan because he’s afraid for me getting involved with a woman whose lifestyle is so different from mine. He lived through the demise of my marriage after my wife discovered my sexual preferences and then got even with her “depraved” husband by having an affair with our director at the time. The fallout was hideous, and I’ve avoided commitment ever since.

  Until now. Until Natalie.

  “Click on the hashtag,” Addie says. “There’s more.”

  From my close friend Marlowe Sloane: Sending love and hugs to my dear friends @FlynnGodfrey and Natalie. #TeamNatalie #NoneOfOurBusiness

  From my sister Ellie: Much love to @FlynnGodfrey and his love, Natalie. #TeamNatalie #NoneOfOurBusiness

  From one of my partners in Quantum, Jasper Autry: Fucking paparazzi has crossed a line. Butt the fuck OUT! #TeamNatalie #NoneOfOurBusiness

  Another Quantum partner, Kristian Bowen, tweeted: Total bullshit to do this to someone who’s already been victimized once. Enough! #TeamNatalie #NoneOfOurBusiness

  I’m overwhelmed by the show of support from my family and friends. A lot of other people I don’t know have weighed in as well, accusing the media of going too far by publishing Natalie’s story.

  “People are pissed,” Addie says bluntly. “TeamNatalie is trending.”

  “Good. People should be pissed. This whole thing is outrageous.”

  “Emmett called late last night. He’s been in touch with the attorney for Natalie’s school. I’m afraid the news there isn’t good. Her contract stipulates that she can be released ‘for cause’ at any time, and there’s no appeal process.”

  “You’ve got to be kidding me.”

  “I wish I was. I didn’t think either of you needed to hear that last night.”

  “So what are they citing as the so-called cause?”

  “Technically, she did lie on her background check when she said she’d never been known by any other name.”

  “She did that for a good reason!”

  “You and I know that, and Emmett said the lawyer acknowledged she had a good reason, but the principal isn’t willing to budge.”

  “I can’t fucking believe this. Natalie will never forgive me.”

  “Flynn… Come on. She knows this isn’t your doing.”

  “How is it not my doing? If I hadn’t taken her to the Globes, none of this would be happening.”

  “Did you know about what happened to her? Before last weekend?”

  I shake my head. “I knew she’d been assaulted when she was a teenager, but not the rest.”

  “Then how could you have protected her from something you didn’t even know about?” Before I can form an answer, she says, “You couldn’t have. It’s not your fault. It’s the fault of the man who attacked her. It’s the fault of the person who sold her out to make a quick buck for himself. It is not your fault.”

  “You should listen to her, Flynn,” Natalie says from behind me.

  I spin around, and there she is, wearing my robe and holding Fluff to her chest. Her face is unusually pale, and dark circles under her eyes mar her otherwise flawless complexion. “Hey, sweetheart.” I hold out my hand to her.

  She comes to me. “Addie’s right. None of this is your fault. I went with you last weekend knowing what was at s
take. I trusted someone who didn’t deserve that trust. If he’d done his job and kept his mouth shut, none of this would be happening.”

  “How about I take Fluff out for a walk?” Addie says.

  “Thanks, Addie.” Natalie spots the leash on the counter with some of Fluff’s toys and clips it on the dog.

  Thankfully, Fluff doesn’t seem to care that she’s leaving with someone other than her beloved Natalie. I send Addie a grateful smile. Walking my girlfriend’s dog is definitely not in her job description.

  “If you hadn’t been seen with me,” I tell Natalie when we’re alone, “his story wouldn’t have been worth anything.”

  “Again, not your fault. Last week, I did a search online for my name, and there was nothing to be found other than where I went to college and my job here. Because of that, I felt confident about going public with you.” She comes to me and lays her hands on my chest. “It’s not your fault. I want you to say that.”

  I force a smile for her benefit. “It’s not your fault.”

  “Flynn…”

  Sighing, I give her what she needs. “It’s not my fault.”

  “Keep saying it to yourself until you believe it.” Natalie goes up on tiptoes to kiss me. “I wouldn’t trade one minute of our magical weekend. It was the best time of my life.”

  I put my arms around her to keep her close. “Mine, too, sweetheart, and winning the Globe was the least of it.” The night I won the biggest award of my career and made love to Natalie for the first time seems like months ago rather than only a few days. After enjoying the pleasure of holding her for a moment, I draw back so I can see her gorgeous face. “You seem a little better.”

  She shrugs. “I guess.”

  “Hayden started a TeamNatalie hashtag on Twitter that’s trending.”

  “He did? Really?”

  “Uh-huh. The outpouring of support has been amazing. Everyone is furious about what was done to you.”

  “It’s nice of him, especially since he doesn’t even like me.”

  “That’s not true. He doesn’t know you. You guys got off to a rough start the day we met. It’ll be fine when you get to know each other.” Because she seems so much better than she was last night, I hate that I have to tell her what Emmett found out about her job.