Delirious, a Tame Quantum Novel Read online

  Chapter 20

  I want out of here. I’ve spoken to all the honchos from the studio, absorbed their rave reviews of the film, done the glad-handing I need to on behalf of Quantum, and now I want to be alone with my woman.

  My woman.

  Two words that have never filtered through my mind in one sentence until now. Until her. She’s huddled with Nat at one of the tables. God only knows what the two of them are talking about, but I have my suspicions.

  I’m glad Natalie filled her in about the BDSM. She saved us a lot of time by cutting to the chase and telling Aileen. Best of all? Aileen didn’t run from me in horror when she found out I like it kinky and rough. In fact, I quickly discovered that she can more than hold her own in the bedroom, despite sometimes seeming fragile in other settings.

  She’d hate to hear me describe her that way, but after her near-fainting episode earlier, I’m even more reluctant to push the envelope with her in bed. But God, I want to. I want to make her mine in every possible way.

  Desire beats through me like an extra pulse that belongs only to her. I can’t stop looking at her or thinking about her or wanting her.

  The studio head is telling me they’re devoting an extra four million to marketing the film in the wake of sensational early reviews. This is big news. I ought to be elated, but I’m annoyed that he won’t stop talking. He’s keeping me from her.

  I can’t take the wanting any longer. “Thanks for the great news, Jerry.” I shake his hand, noting his somewhat stunned expression. No one shuts down Jerry Lautenberg. “Could I call you on Monday to discuss it further?”

  “Of course,” he says, flustered—and possibly peeved.

  I don’t care. “Great. Thanks again for being here tonight. Means a lot to us.”

  “Congratulations on another outstanding film.”

  “Thank you very much. I’ll talk to you on Monday.” I shake his hand again and make my escape, keeping my head down and my gaze averted so no one will stop me from reaching my destination. People call out to me, but I ignore them. I reach the table where she’s sitting with Natalie and the others. She’s on the end, so I lean in to speak directly into her ear. “Let’s go.” I hold out my hand to help her up.

  “Have a good night, you guys,” Natalie says with a meaningful smirk. She knows exactly what’s on my mind.

  Aileen’s hand slides into mine, and that’s all it takes to calm the uneasiness of being separated from her, even minimally, for the last hour. It occurs to me that I’m becoming slightly obsessed with her, but I make no apologies for wanting to be with her all the time. I’ve waited my whole life to belong to someone, and now that I do, I want to wallow in the contentment I find only with her.

  We leave without saying goodbye to anyone. If anything comes up in my absence, one of my partners can handle it. I’m officially off duty.

  Gordon Yates, our director of security in LA, stands by the elevator. “Shall I request your car?” he asks.

  “Yes, please. Thanks, Gordon.”

  “No problem.” He speaks into a microphone attached to his earpiece as he summons the elevator for us. It takes less than a minute for the elevator to arrive, but that feels like too long. The logistics of the escape are making me crazier than I already am.

  In the elevator, Aileen turns to me and rests her hands on my chest. “Why are you so tense?”

  “Because I had to spend an entire hour in the same room with you without being able to touch you or talk to you.”

  She smiles up at me. “You were working.”

  “I was dying for you the whole time.”

  “Well, now you have me.”

  I put my arms around her and hold her as close to me as I can get her, my hard cock making its presence known between us. “I’m obsessed with you.”

  “I seem to have the same problem where you’re concerned. I couldn’t stop looking at you when you were talking to people.”

  “I saw you looking my way, and that made being separated from you even worse.”

  “This is crazy,” she says with a nervous laugh.

  “If this is crazy, sign me up. I want to be crazy every day for the rest of my life.”

  “Kristian,” she says on a sigh.

  “Too much too soon?”

  “No, not at all. You just said what I was thinking.”

  Before I can respond to that momentous statement, the doors open. We’re greeted by another member of Gordon’s team, who escorts us from the venue to the curb where our car awaits. The sidewalk crawls with photographers waiting for Flynn, Marlowe, Hayden and the other celebrities, so I keep Aileen tucked in close to me, hoping to shield her. While the invasion of privacy goes with the territory in my world, it’s new to her, and I don’t want her frightened by their aggressiveness.

  The second we’re tucked into the cool interior of the car, I tell the driver to take us to the Quantum building, raise the barrier to close us off from view and lift her onto my lap so I can kiss her the way I’ve been dying to for hours now. As always, she’s worth the wait, responding with ardor and desperation that more than matches mine.

  Traffic is heavy, even on a Saturday night, so we have time, or so I tell myself as I break the kiss, breathing hard from the desire that pounds through me.

  “Have you checked on the kids?”

  “Yes, Cece says everything is fine.”

  “Good.” I kiss her neck and then her lips. “I want you right now.”

  “Here?”

  “Right here.” When I had this tuxedo made, I insisted on one button and a zipper. None of the latches and flaps tuxedo pants usually have. As I free my cock from my pants, I never imagined that request would come in so handy. With my free hand, I push her dress up her smooth, silky legs and tug at the scrap of fabric that covers her, feeling it rip.

  Her face flushes with heat. “Kristian…” She glances over her shoulder to the dark glass that separates us from the driver. “We can’t.”

  “We absolutely can.” She’s light as a feather, so I lift her and position her so she’s straddling my lap, her heat pressing against the tip of my cock, which aches for her. I lower her onto me slowly when I’d much rather plunge. But that would hurt her, and I never want to hurt her.

  Her fingers dig into my shoulders.

  Reaching under the dress that’s bunched at her waist, I grasp her ass cheeks and tug them open.

  Her head falls forward, her forehead propped against mine. “I can’t believe we’re doing this in a moving car.”

  “Believe it, baby. It’s all your fault that I couldn’t wait.”

  “How is it my fault?”

  “You’re just so fucking sexy and gorgeous. I can’t control myself when you’re around.”

  “I can live with that,” she says with a sigh.

  “I hope so, because you’re stuck with me.”

  “I can live with that, too.”

  I want to ask her, right there and then, to live with me forever. To make a home with me, to be my person, the one who will always be there for me no matter what. But it’s too soon for that, and besides, with her halfway impaled on my cock, I have other things to think about.

  “Let me in,” I say in a low growl that makes her moan.

  “I’m trying.”

  “Relax, sweetheart.” I reach down to where we’re joined to caress her clit, which is hard and throbbing under my fingers. “The driver won’t open the door without my permission. We won’t get caught.”

  The tension leaves her body as her inner muscles relax to allow me in. “Yes,” I hiss through clenched teeth. “God, yes.” Nothing—and I do mean nothing—has ever felt better than being inside her tight, hot body. I could die right now, and I’d go happier than I’ve ever been. I grasp her ass and move her up and down on my rigid cock. “Ride me, sweetheart. Move your hips. Yes… Just like that.” Fucking hell… She shifts her hips and takes me right to the edge of release. I bite the inside of my cheek to keep from coming too soon.
It’s been years since that was a challenge for me.

  I need her to come so I can, too. I stroke her clit, and she cries out from a powerful release. The driver definitely heard that, but I’m right behind her, so I can’t think about anything but the sweet relief of losing myself in her. I look up at her, panting and red-faced and smiling with satisfaction, and I’m filled with what can only be called euphoria. Not even winning the Oscar could compare to this, and the words are falling out of my mouth before I take even a second to contemplate what I’m saying.

  “I love you, Aileen.”

  She sucks in a sharp deep breath, and the way she looks at me…

  I’ll never forget it.

  “I love you, too.”

  “You do? Really?” I don’t tell her that’s the first time in my life anyone has said those words to me. Yes, I know my partners love me, but we don’t throw the words around, and I don’t remember my mother well enough to know if she ever said it.

  “I really do. I think I have since the day I first met you.”

  On the verge of totally losing my shit, I wrap my arms around her, my head resting against her chest.

  She runs her fingers through my hair, the gesture soothing and arousing at the same time. My cock begins to swell again.

  “You’re insatiable,” she says, laughing.

  “Only with you.” I glance out the window and see we’re getting close to the Quantum building, so I lift her up and off me.

  “Jeez,” she says, gasping. “A little warning next time, huh?”

  “Sorry.” I flash a grin in her direction because she makes me so damned happy. I’ve never had someone who belonged only to me before, and I can’t begin to process the myriad emotions that come with knowing that she loves me. Overwhelming is the best word I can think of to describe it.

  “You’ve made a complete mess of me,” she says, squirming in the seat next to me.

  I pull some tissues from a box provided by the car service and hand them to her.

  She discreetly takes care of business and jams the tissues into a trash bag before righting her dress and running her fingers through her hair. “Will everyone be able to tell I was ravished in the car?”

  “So what if they can? We’re going to a sex club.”

  “We are? Right now?”

  “Right now. It’s the perfect time to go. You won’t see anyone you know there with our friends still at the party.”

  “Oh. Okay.”

  I glance over at her, trying to get a read on what she’s thinking. “Is it? We don’t have to do this if you don’t want to.”

  “I want to, but I also want to be alone with you.”

  My heart swells to the point that I wonder if a heart can burst from feeling too much. “We won’t stay long.” I zip my cock, which is still partially hard, into my pants and tuck in my shirt. By the time the driver comes to the door, we’re presentable. I take hold of her hand and lead her into the building. “Your new office is upstairs.” I lay my hand on a palm scanner. “And the club is in the basement. Same setup in New York.”

  “How do you keep something like this a secret in this town?”

  “Everyone who steps foot in the club, yourself included, signs a binding nondisclosure agreement that makes it very clear that we’ll ruin them if they breathe a word of what goes on here. In addition to that, we have a one-million-dollar nonrefundable membership initiation fee that tends to keep the riffraff out.”

  “Wow. I’m trying to imagine what it would be like to have an extra million bucks lying around to spend on something like this.”

  I don’t mention that if I’m lucky enough to convince her to marry me someday, she’ll have plenty of millions to do with as she likes. This relationship business may be brand-new to me, but even I know it’s too soon for that conversation.

  “People in the entertainment business appreciate having an exclusive club where they can go and be themselves without fear of being exposed.”

  “I suppose that would be comforting when you live in a fishbowl.”

  In the elevator, I turn to her. I slide a finger over her cheek, and she gazes up at me with those big, expressive eyes. In them, I see trust and love and so many other things that rock my world. “If you see anything that disturbs or frightens you, all you have to do is say so. What’s your safe word?”

  “Destiny.”

  Best safe word ever. “Use it if you need it.” I take her hand and lead her into the reception area, where I’m greeted by Lily, one of the three women we hired to handle guest relations after we opened the club to the public.

  “Good evening, Mr. Bowen.”

  “Hi, Lily. I need an NDA for my guest, please.”

  “Of course.” She leads us into an office where Aileen is given the NDA along with a detailed explanation of the club rules. “If you don’t have any questions, you can sign here.”

  Aileen signs the form.

  “Thanks, Lily.” I lead Aileen from the office, through the double doors that bear our distinctive Q logo and into the club, which is busy as usual on a Saturday night. Scenes are happening on each of the three main stages, others are being negotiated in the various sitting areas, and servers wearing as little as possible tend to the crowd. The dance floor is full of writhing bodies moving to a sexy hip-hop beat. I keep a tight hold on Aileen’s hand as we head to the bar, where one of the backup bartenders is on duty. I believe his name is Marco.

  He recognizes me, clears two stools for us and has a Grey Goose and soda with a twist of lemon on the bar for me before I’m seated. Ownership has its perks.

  “Evening, Mr. Bowen. What can I get for your guest?”

  “Chardonnay, please.”

  “Coming right up.”

  “They treat you like a king here,” she says.

  “They should. I own the joint. What do you think of it?”

  “It’s a lot to take in all at once,” she says, taking in the scenes happening in the main room.

  “What’re you thinking watching them?”

  “I’m wondering if the paddle hurts.”

  “It stings more than hurts.”

  “Is she being pleasured or punished?”

  “That’s an excellent question. We don’t allow punishment on the main floor, so it’s all about pleasure out here.”

  “Where would punishment happen?”

  “In the dungeon, which is available for the Quantum principals only, or in one of the private rooms. I’ll show you them in a bit.”

  “And the sub… She likes being paddled?”

  “Watch for a minute and see if your question is answered.”

  Over the next few minutes, the sub orgasms loudly, leaving her inner thighs slick with moisture.

  “Wow,” Aileen says, her eyes bigger than usual. “She came just from being paddled?”

  “Yep, but it’s more than the paddling. She allowed someone else to control her pleasure, and that psychological mind game is a huge turn-on for many subs.”

  Aileen crosses her legs and moves restlessly on her seat.

  I put my arm around her and press my lips to her ear. “Does watching turn you on, sweetheart?”

  “Mmm. Big-time.”

  She asks a ton of questions and talks about the research she’s done.

  “I love that you’ve researched this.”

  “It was far more interesting than the research I used to do for the law firm where I worked.”

  “I’ll bet,” I say, laughing. “Did it make you hot to read about it?”

  “Incredibly hot.”

  “Aileen…”

  She tears her gaze off the sight of the woman on the cross to look at me. “Does it make you happy to hear that?”

  “Every single thing about you makes me happy.”

  Chapter 21

  I lean into him, loving the feel of his arms around me as I watch the action on the stages, intrigued by everything I see.

  He loves me. He’s sharing both his public and
private worlds with me tonight, and I feel so lucky because I know none of what’s happening between us comes naturally to him. It’s a huge deal for him to open himself to me this way, and his words of love are among the greatest gifts I’ve ever received. I want to be worthy of them. I want to give him everything he needs, and that’s why we’re here, so I can learn more about what he needs.

  “Talk to me about what you like to do here.”

  “What I did here is in the past now.”

  “I’d still like to know.”

  I feel his deep sigh against my back. “I’ve done it all. Everything you see happening here, I’ve done, but it never meant anything. It was a physical thing, akin to working out at a gym, if you can think of it that way. And it was a mental exercise, too. A stress reliever. It doesn’t turn me on to watch them,” he says, gesturing to the stages, “because I have you now.”

  “It’s okay with me if it turns you on to watch.”

  “That’s good to know, but it doesn’t do anything for me. All I want is to show you enough to give you a sense of what it’s about and then get the hell out of here so I can be alone with you.”

  “Give me a tour, and then we’ll go.”

  He takes my hand and is off his stool so quickly, I scramble to keep up. I love that he’s every bit as eager to be alone with me. We cross the crowded main room and duck into a hallway that’s dark except for three lightbulbs. “Pick one,” Kristian says.

  “What am I picking?”

  “One of three rooms currently in use.”

  “Oh.” I point to the middle one, wild with curiosity about what I might see behind the closed door. I follow Kristian through a doorway to the left of the room I chose. Inside, a woman stands with her arms behind her, while a man dressed in a police uniform circles the table. We watch as he interrogates and strip searches her, the scene so erotic and stimulating I can barely remain standing.

  “Does my baby like what she sees?” Kristian asks, his hand sliding down to cup me intimately.

  I wonder if he can feel the heat that radiates from me.

  “Mmm… I think she likes it.”