Ravenous, A Tame Quantum Novel (Quantum Series Book 5) Read online

  “You could go public with the connection between Jasper Kingsley and Jasper Autry and let the world know that Jasper Autry has no desire to inherit the Kingsley dynasty, especially when he has a sister who’d be far better suited than he’ll ever be.”

  “You’re suggesting I go around my father.”

  “Yes.”

  I try to imagine what would happen if I were to make such a move. Fleet Street would have a bloody field day with a story like this, especially with my father about to set out on one of his follies.

  “What do you think?” she asks, her eyes shining with love and hope.

  “It would be the story of the year at home, not to mention what the Hollywood press corps would do with it.”

  “We could handle that.”

  “We could?”

  “Yes, we as in you and me. We could handle it. Together.”

  “What’re you saying, Ellie?”

  “I’m saying I want you in my life, in our child’s life, and not just as a signature on a monthly check. I want you here, with us, working at Quantum where you belong, not consigned to a role that you were never meant to play. It’s all so wrong.”

  “And this is all so right?”

  “It’s so right. Tell me I’m not the only one who feels—”

  I kiss her because I can’t not kiss her and touch her and want her and everything she’s offering. I want it. I want it so badly, I burn from wanting it. “You’re not the only one,” I whisper when we finally come up for air. Now that I’ve started, I never want to stop kissing her. “I want the same things you do. You can’t possibly know how badly I want all of it.”

  “Then have it, Jasper. Have it. This is your life, the only one you’ll ever get. Do it your way.”

  Her encouragement fires me with the courage I’ve lacked in the past. “Tomorrow I’ll make some calls and get some advice about how best to proceed.”

  “You’re really going to do it?”

  “I really am.”

  “Jasper…” She places her hands on my face, compelling me to meet her gaze. “No matter what, I’ll be right here with you. We all will. We love you.”

  “We do?”

  The flush that infuses her cheeks only makes her lovelier than she already is. “Of course we do.”

  “I love all of you, too. You’ve become my family.” And I adore how we’re both saying everything to each other without actually saying it.

  “Your Quantum family will fight for you, and we’ll support you no matter what happens next.”

  “That means everything to me.” After that, there are no more words. None are needed. I take her hand and lead her into her bedroom, where I undress her and then myself. We come down on her bed in a tangle of limbs as our lips meet in a soft, sweet kiss that quickly turns hot and frantic. But I don’t want frantic. I want reverent. I want to worship her. I want her to know what her love and support mean to me.

  I pepper her neck and throat with kisses before moving down to her breasts, drawing the pointed tip of her nipple into my mouth and biting down just hard enough to pull a sharp gasp from her. She’s still so sensitive that it doesn’t take much to draw a reaction from her. I do the same to the other side, licking and sucking until she is writhing under me, begging me for more with the press of her hips against my hard cock.

  I have to stop myself from plunging into her and taking what I want more than my next breath. Though I’ve had just about every kind of sex a man can have, I’ve never experienced the kind of craving need she inspires in me. It’s like everything is brand-new again with her, and I already know I’ll never get enough of her.

  We move together like lovers who’ve been together for years rather than days. Every caress of her hands on my back sets off a wildfire of desire that can’t be contained. I don’t want to contain it. I feel like I’ve been numb for most of my life until she showed me how it could be. And now… Now, I’ll never survive without her by my side.

  I kiss my way down the front of her, taking my own sweet time even as the fire burns so hot inside me, I fear I might combust from the heat that threatens to consume me. She fists a handful of my hair as I open her to my tongue, moaning against her flesh. I want to devour her, to show her what she means to me, to make her so happy she won’t ever want or need anything—or anyone—else. I lick and suck and tease her into a series of orgasms that have her crying out from the pleasure. I keep it up until I can’t wait another second to be inside her.

  She’s so hot and so tight that I hold still for a long moment, until I’m sure this won’t end too soon.

  I look down to find her gazing up at me, her eyes conveying her every emotion, and I realize that I’m making love for the first time in my life.

  “Ellie,” I whisper as I thrust into her. “You… This…”

  “I know,” she says. “I know.” She wraps her arms and legs around me, holding me close.

  I’m at home in her arms, and I never want to leave. I’ll do whatever it takes to have her, to have this. It’s everything. Nothing else matters, and knowing that, I’m free to take the next step, to do what I should’ve done years ago.

  Tomorrow. I’ll start the ball rolling, and to hell with the consequences. I’m going to have her and our child. I’m going to have it all. No matter what.

  I’m so exhausted from the amazing night with Ellie that I’m late to the Friday morning partners’ meeting. Not by much, but enough to draw the ire of Hayden and Kristian, who greet me with matching glares. I couldn’t care less. I’m high on life and love today, and there’s just about nothing anyone could say or do to ruin my buzz.

  “Thanks for joining us,” Hayden says, clearly still pissed at me about last night.

  “My pleasure.” I help myself to coffee, a muffin and fresh fruit from the spread that Addie arranges for our partner meetings. She says that food puts us in a good mood, and the rest of the team benefits from keeping the partners in a good mood. “What’s on the agenda today?”

  “Flynn has an update on Natalie’s project.”

  Part of me is surprised that Flynn wants to bring his wife’s story to the big screen. He’s so intensely private, but after her story was made public, they don’t have many secrets left—and it is an insane story that will make for one hell of a film.

  “We have a screenplay in the works,” Flynn reports, updating us on the details of the writer he’s hired.

  “I feel sort of sorry for this guy, and I haven’t even met him yet,” Marlowe jokes. “He’s got a big job ahead of him.”

  “Ha-ha,” Flynn says, grinning at her. “He’s more than up to the task. Nat likes him, which is all I care about. As long as she’s comfortable, I’m comfortable.”

  “I’m sure you’re very comfortable these days,” Hayden says.

  “Likewise, my friend,” Flynn says, “which brings me to the next item on the agenda—you monopolizing my assistant.”

  “I do love to monopolize her,” Hayden replies with a dopey, lovesick grin that makes us all laugh. The change in him since he fell for Addie is nothing short of astonishing. He’s completely transformed by love, and in the best possible way. No one deserves it more than he does after a childhood marked by nonstop family drama.

  “Seriously, though,” Flynn says, “you gotta let her work sometimes. I need her.”

  “Not as much as I do, and you don’t get to need her between six p.m. and six a.m. unless it’s something arranged in advance. Her days of being your twenty-four-hours-a-day beck-and-call girl are over.”

  “I’m only going to let you get away with calling her that because she’s so happy.”

  “Gee, thanks,” Hayden says drolly. “You get twelve hours. I get twelve hours. That’s how this is gonna go. Got me?”

  “Yeah, yeah, but you’d better play nice. I really, really need her.”

  “So do I.”

  Having Hayden come right out and say that is huge. Before Addie, he wouldn’t have said he needed anything or anyo
ne. I’m humbled by his confession, especially in light of what transpired last night. It gives me the push I need to lay myself bare to my partners.

  “I have something for the agenda.”

  “That’s a first,” Kristian says dryly, grinning at me.

  “First time for everything. And it’s kind of a big deal. I don’t want any of you to be offended that I haven’t told you this before now.”

  “You’ve certainly got our attention,” Flynn says, sitting back in his chair in a pose that’s deceptively casual.

  In for a penny… “Have you heard of Henry Kingsley?”

  “The British tycoon?” Marlowe asks.

  “Yeah, him.”

  “What about him?” Hayden asks.

  “He’s… Well, he’s my father.”

  The announcement is met with stunned silence that lasts long enough to become uncomfortable. I break it with a rush of words that lay out the dilemma that is my life. And when I’m done, they stare at me as if they’re seeing me for the very first time.

  “You gotta be fucking kidding me,” Hayden says, breaking a long silence.

  “I wish I was.”

  “Wait, so you wish that you weren’t a billionaire heir to a massive fortune?” Marlow asks.

  “Yes, I wish that! I want nothing to do with it. I want this, here, with all of you. This is my life. Quantum is my life. Not that. Never that.”

  “Jesus, Jasper,” Kristian whispers. As my closest friend among the group, I expected him to be the most affected by this news. “How did we never know this?”

  “No one knows that Jasper Kingsley and Jasper Autry are the same person. At least no one knew until now. I’ve gone to enormous lengths to keep my two lives very separate. The British press thinks I’m an eccentric inventor, living on my father’s country estate in Cornwall, still trying to pull off my first big patent.”

  “So you’re part of the aristocracy,” Marlowe says, her eyes big with wonder. If only she knew that there’s nothing wonderful about the reality of it, at least not for me. “Like on Downton Abbey!”

  “I’m actually a marquess and future duke.”

  “Shut the fuck up,” Hayden says. “Even I know what that means.”

  “Well, I don’t,” Flynn says. “Fill in the blanks for me.”

  “It means that when my father dies, which he’s apt to do sooner rather than later thanks to his recent penchant for testing his limits, I’ll be required to go home to London and take over the family business as well as the dukedom, whether I want to or not. And I most definitely do not want to.”

  “Oh jeez,” Marlowe says. “We can’t let that happen.”

  “No way,” Flynn adds. “We can’t lose you.”

  “I don’t want to be lost, but turning my back on my legacy, my responsibilities… If I actually do that, it’d be a huge scandal at home—and probably here, too. It might reflect badly on Quantum, and honestly, that’s giving me pause.”

  “Don’t let it,” Hayden says fiercely. “You do what you’ve got to do to get yourself out of this. We’re behind you three thousand percent.”

  The others nod in agreement, which makes my throat feel tight. Hayden’s support, in particular, is overwhelming in light of what he witnessed last night at Black Vice. I was afraid things would be weird between us today, but thankfully that hasn’t been the case. However, I still hope he doesn’t mention to Flynn that I took Ellie to the club. I’d rather not have to explain what we were doing there to her brother. In a perfect world, he’ll never know we were there.

  “I agree with Hayden,” Flynn says. “You’re one of us, and you always will be. You let us know what we can do to support you. Anything you need.”

  Christ, they’re going to make me bawl like a wee babe. “Thank you,” I say in a hushed tone. “I’m going to talk to some people at home about my options and go from there. I also want to talk to my sister, who’d be the ideal choice to inherit my father’s business. Perhaps she and I could share the duties or something. I don’t know yet, but there has to be a way, and I’m determined to find it.”

  I can’t tell them the real reason I’m so determined. Not until Ellie is ready to tell her family about us—and the baby we hope to have. For now, I’m keeping the two things separate and dealing with them one at a time.

  First on the agenda is contending with my father, a thought that turns my stomach. But then I remember the nearly religious experience of making love to Ellie, and I’m filled with determination. I know now what I need to do, and as soon as this meeting is over, I’ll get the ball rolling.

  I’m long overdue to take control of my life, and being with Ellie has given me the courage I’ve lacked in the past. It’s given me a reason that even my illustrious career couldn’t give me to extricate myself from the nightmare I’ve been saddled with my entire life. If I stay focused on the future I want with her and our child—or children—I can do what needs to be done.

  “Keep us posted,” Flynn says.

  “Thank you. I will.” That’s all I’m capable of saying at the moment.

  “And here I thought I’d be the one stirring the pot this morning,” Kristian says.

  “How so?” Marlowe asks.

  “I wanted to talk to you guys about the club. Only a few of us seem to hang out there anymore. We’re paying Sebastian to run it for us, and we’re not using it.”

  “I’ll admit that I’m guilty of avoiding the club now that Nat and I are married,” Flynn says. “She’s not a fan of public displays.”

  “So you’re out.” Turning to Hayden, Kristian says, “What about you?”

  “Addie prefers to keep our private life and her work life separate.”

  “Can’t say I blame her,” Marlowe says.

  “What’s your excuse?” Kristian asks Mo. “You’re still single, and I never see you there anymore either.”

  “I’m not sure exactly,” Marlowe replies hesitantly. “Lately, I’ve been sort of… I don’t know… bored with the whole scene.”

  Astounded by her confession, we stare at her.

  “Bored?” Flynn asks. “For real?”

  I can understand his disbelief. Marlowe has been, without a doubt, the most enthusiastic practitioner of the group. To hear she’s bored with the lifestyle is shocking, to say the least.

  “What’s that about?” Hayden asks.

  “I don’t know,” Marlowe replies, looking a little lost. “Lately, they’re all the same. There’s no challenge to it anymore. They just want to be dominated by the lady movie star. They don’t make me work for it the way they used to.” She shrugs. “Thus the boredom.”

  “I understand what you mean, Mo.” I empathize with her because I do get it. Before I had Ellie, I too had become somewhat disenchanted with the same-shit-different-night life I’d been living. “It does become less exciting with partners who are a little too willing to submit.”

  “Yeah, that’s what I mean. I haven’t given up entirely, but I’m taking a break.”

  “So that leaves us with a very expensive club that none of us are using,” Kristian says. “I want to suggest that we make it public.” Holding up his hands to ward off the barrage of dissent, he adds, “Exclusive but public. Rather than inviting people to come to the club as our guests, we handpick members, and we continue to make it the best-kept secret in Hollywood.”

  “I don’t know,” Hayden says, expressing the same reservations I’m feeling. We’ve been very lucky up to now that no one has caught wind of the fact that all five of the Quantum principals are BDSM aficionados. Each of us is well aware that as high-profile celebrities, we’re playing with fire by partaking in something most people would find scandalous, but we’ve chosen to do it anyway because we can’t not partake in a lifestyle that brings us pleasure. Club Quantum in LA and New York has given us a safe place to participate with our closest friends in the lifestyle without fear of being found out. The club in New York has been open to outside members for a while now, but the LA
club has been much more locked down.

  “Letting in outsiders is definitely a risk,” I say, “but with us spending less time there, the risk is also lessened.”

  Flynn nods in agreement. “That’s true. If none of us are regulars anymore, then we have nothing to worry about.”

  “Other than the fact that the club is housed in our building and named for our company,” Hayden says.

  “Well, there is that,” Marlowe concedes.

  “I don’t think that should stop us from going forward with a membership program,” Flynn says. “Anyone who’s admitted should have the same skin in the game that we have. People in this town, for the most part, prefer to keep their personal lives private. They aren’t going to talk about us, and we’re not going to talk about them.”

  “Still,” Kristian says, “it is a risk that we all need to be aware that we’re taking.”

  “Understood,” I say, and the others agree.

  “In that case,” Kristian proceeds, handing out stapled pages to each of us, “Sebastian has come up with a plan to open up the club to new members. If you guys could take a look at this and get me any feedback by the end of next week, I’d appreciate it.”

  “Will do.” I glance at my watch and see that it’s already eleven. I’ve got stuff to do, and the day is getting away from me. “Is that it?”

  “That’s all I have,” Kristian says.

  “Watch for an email update on the project about Nat’s story,” Flynn says. “We’re getting close on a few things.”

  “I predict this amazing film is going to be another Camouflage,” Marlowe says, referring to the film we all won Oscars for this year.

  “That’d be something, wouldn’t it?” Flynn asks with a goofy grin. He’s so lovesick over his adorable wife, and her astonishing courage has been an inspiration to us all.

  “I can’t wait to work on that one,” I say as I get up to leave the room. “Sign me up.”

  Flynn gives me a fist bump as I walk by him on the way out. “Thanks, buddy.”

  I hope I’ll still be his buddy when he finds out that not only am I fucking his sister every chance I get, but I’m trying to make a baby with her, too.