Delirious, a Tame Quantum Novel Read online

  “Whoa,” Logan says, taking in the fancy sports cars that line the opposite wall.

  Do they all belong to Kristian? Holy crap. Of course, I know he’s loaded, but to see proof of his staggering wealth is somewhat overwhelming.

  “Do you think he’ll let me check them out?” Logan asks.

  “I’m sure he would.”

  “That’d be so cool.”

  I love to see him so excited and animated. During the bleak months of my illness, I had reason to wonder if any of us would ever be excited or animated about anything again. But those days are far behind us now, even if the residual trauma lingers in all of us.

  Maddie fell asleep during the drive, so I unbuckle her from her booster seat and lift her into my arms. She’s gotten so big recently. I won’t be able to carry her for much longer. I no sooner have that thought than the elevator dings, and Kristian is there to greet us.

  My heart kicks into overdrive, and my mouth goes dry at the sight of him and the way he looks at me… No one has ever looked at me like that, and I feel dizzy until I realize I’m holding my breath.

  “Let me take her,” he says, reaching for Maddie.

  He lifts her effortlessly into his arms, curling one arm protectively around her while using his free hand to ruffle Logan’s hair. “What’s up, my man?”

  “Are those cars all yours?”

  “They are.”

  “Holy cow. What kind are they?”

  Pointing to each one, Kristian says, “McLaren MP4, Rolls-Royce Phantom, Audi R8, Tesla, BMW M6 and Mercedes G-Wagon. I keep a bright red Lamborghini in New York.”

  “Whoa. Can I sit in them?”

  “Sure. Why don’t we do that after dinner?”

  Logan smiles up at him. “Okay.”

  “Will you push the Up arrow on the elevator?” Kristian asks him.

  “Yep.” Logan runs ahead of us to summon the elevator.

  Kristian curls his free hand around my neck, bringing me in for a quick kiss. “Longest day ever,” he says gruffly.

  That’s all it takes to put my girl parts on full alert. “For me, too.”

  He gives me a small smile before releasing me to give Logan his full attention, encouraging him to push the button for the penthouse and showing him how to work the key card that gives us access to his home—all this while continuing to hold my sleeping daughter.

  Then he hands me the key card, and the meaningful look we exchange is full of so many things, I can’t process them all. “Keep that so you can come over any time you want.”

  We’ve been here five minutes, and I’m already dying to be alone with him. But that’s not going to happen tonight. We arrive in Kristian’s spacious contemporary home with the windows that look out over the Hollywood Hills. He gently puts Maddie on the sofa and pulls a light blanket over her.

  “Is it normal for her to be so tired?” he asks.

  “Not usually, but after her night in the ER and the time-zone change, she’s still catching up.”

  “Can we go play games now?” Logan asks.

  Kristian glances at me. “You want to stay down here with her while I take him up?”

  “Sure. I’ll wake her in a little bit so she’s not up all night.”

  He turns on the TV and hands me the remote. “Pizza should be here soon. You can buzz them up from the intercom next to the elevator.”

  “Okay.”

  He places his hands on my son’s shoulders. “Come on, Logan. Let’s go shoot some stuff.”

  “Awesome!” Logan bounds up the stairs to the second floor, where I assume Kristian’s bedroom is also located.

  I take a seat on the sofa, curling my legs under me and hugging a throw pillow. I’m torn between wanting to be upstairs with them and here with Maddie. I decide to let her sleep for another half hour and entertain myself by watching the news. I’m interrupted when the buzz of the intercom startles me, even though Kristian told me to expect it. I fumble with the intercom, pressing the wrong button before I find the correct one.

  The elevator opens, and the young delivery guy greets me with a smile as he hands over two large pizzas and something in a brown bag. “Thanks so much.”

  “Any time. Tell Mr. Bowen that Mitch said hi.”

  “I will.” He’s gone before I can ask if Mr. Bowen tipped him.

  Kristian and Logan come down the stairs, apparently racing to see who can reach the bottom first.

  Logan is laughing as he jumps from the third step to land a second before Kristian.

  “Nice move,” Kristian says, smiling at my son. “Have you considered a career as a stunt man?”

  “You think I could do that?” Logan looks up at him with a wistful expression that tugs on my heart and makes me realize I’m not the only one becoming invested in this relationship.

  “You can do anything you set your mind to,” Kristian tells him as he gets out plates and cutlery, moving around the kitchen with easy familiarity that has me wondering if he cooks.

  There’s so much I still don’t know about him, and I want to know everything. I kiss Maddie awake.

  Her eyes open, and she smiles at me.

  “You want some pizza?”

  Nodding, she sits up and looks around at where we are. Kristian’s apartment is an upscale bachelor pad, complete with comfortable leather furniture, glass tables and vintage Hollywood artwork.

  I help Maddie up and usher her toward the counter, where Kristian has set up dinner around the bar.

  As he lifts Maddie onto a barstool and offers her lemonade, I wonder if he has any idea how good he is with kids. Some people are awkward and clumsy around them. He’s a natural.

  “I’m surprised you’ll eat pizza,” I say to Kristian.

  He winks at me. “It’s gluten free.”

  “Of course it is.”

  “That room is awesome,” Logan says around a mouthful of cheese pizza.

  “I want to play, too,” Maddie says.

  “As soon as you finish eating,” Kristian tells her. “I’ll teach you how to play Frogger. It’s my favorite.”

  “I remember that game,” I say, sharing a smile with him. “I loved it when I was a kid. I didn’t think it existed anymore.”

  “I had a heck of a time tracking down a machine that still works, but I found one in San Pedro a couple of years ago and fixed it up.”

  “You did that yourself?”

  “Uh-huh. I like to tinker.”

  “Do you cook, too?”

  “How’d you know?”

  “The way you move around the kitchen was a dead giveaway.”

  Since we’re on one side of the counter and the kids on the other, they can’t see when he lays his hand on my leg, making me forget where we are and who is watching. I go completely stupid in the head, until his thumb moves ever so slightly, jarring me out of the stupor to remind me I can’t let this happen. Not here or now anyway.

  I try to push his hand away, but he won’t be pushed.

  Without missing a beat in the conversation he’s having with the kids about the amusement park at the Santa Monica Pier, he continues to stroke my inner thigh with his thumb while chowing down on pizza and salad. I add “master multitasker” to the list of things I’ve learned about him.

  Thanks to Kristian scrambling my brain cells, I’m still working on my first piece of pizza when the rest of them finish.

  He finally removes his hand from my leg and leans in to kiss my forehead. “Take your time, hon. I’ll entertain the troops. Come on up when you’re done. Third door on the right.”

  They take off, leaving me with a rare moment of total peace and quiet. Except for when they’re in school and I’m at work, the kids and I are usually together. Money has always been tight, and I hardly ever leave them with sitters, other than the lovely woman in our former building who watched them for free whenever I needed her. So it’s truly unusual for me to have someone else to entertain them. I ought to curl up on the sofa with the Kindle app on my phone, but
I want to be where they are—and where he is—so I put the leftover pizza away, clean up the kitchen and head upstairs to find them.

  Third door on the right, he said… I glance into the other rooms, one of which might be a guest room. Another is a gym. At the far end of the hallway, past the third door on the right, are open double doors that I decide to investigate. I duck my head into the room and see a king-size bed that’s been hastily made. It’s covered by a navy blue duvet and has gray accent pillows. The furniture is cherry, maybe, pretty but not fussy.

  I can hear the kids in the game room, so I resist the urge to further explore and go to see what they’re up to. I step into a full-on arcade that has every conceivable game—pinball, pool, air hockey, driving games and others I can’t easily identify. But what I see before me truly stops my heart—Maddie standing on Kristian’s feet, his arms around her as he teaches her how to play Frogger.

  I can’t even…

  He glances over his shoulder, sees me there, and the look that passes between us is so full of emotion that my heart contracts almost painfully. Then Maddie needs him, and he returns his attention to her, but I’m left reeling from the knowledge that I’m falling in love with him—fast and hard.

  Chapter 13

  I can’t let it go even though I know I should. Natalie was trying to help her friend, but it wasn’t her place to tell Aileen about Kristian’s sexual preferences. Trust is a critical element of our lifestyle, especially in light of who we are to the rest of the world. Natalie knew she could trust Aileen, and Kristian doesn’t mind that she told her. But that might not always be the case, and I have to make sure she understands the critical need for discretion.

  I find her in our home office on the computer, probably tending to foundation business. She’s been an absolute godsend as the director of the foundation I started to aid the cause of childhood hunger. The carnival fundraiser we’re holding at a private estate is coming up in a few short weeks, and she’s been frantically busy seeing to the details.

  “Hey,” she says, smiling up at me. “I didn’t hear you come in.”

  That’s because I didn’t want her to hear me come in. She expects me to go around the desk to kiss her the way I normally would, but that’s not going to happen.

  “I want you in the bedroom prepared to serve your master in five minutes.” After delivering my order, I turn and leave the room, but not before I catch the stunned expression on her face. Nope, she didn’t see that coming. Excellent.

  In the nearly six months we’ve been married, she hasn’t given me reason to discipline her, so I’m giddy with excitement over my plans for the evening. Any time I get to spend with her is the best time I’ve ever spent with anyone, no matter what we’re doing. But knowing she gets me, that she understands my needs and isn’t hesitant about tending to them, makes me love her that much more fiercely.

  I go into the living room and fix myself a drink, my favorite Bowmore whisky burning a path through me, heating me up from the inside and killing the last of the fury I felt after Natalie told me what she did. At breakfast, she admitted to feeling guilty about spilling the beans to Aileen about Kristian’s sexual preferences.

  I’d never touch her in anger. Ever. She’s everything to me. If you’d told me a year ago that I’d be so slavishly devoted to any woman, I would’ve scoffed. Not me. No way. I was determined to preserve and protect my freedom, until that fateful frozen day in Greenwich Village when her demon dog, Fluff, “attacked” me during a shoot, changing both our lives forever. Since then, I’ve experienced the kind of happiness I thought only existed in the romantic movies we churn out in Hollywood.

  It pains me to wait fifteen minutes, but I want her wondering what’s up. Not that it’s unusual for me to order her into position. We have some sort of sex, often kinky, every day. But it is unusual for me to come home from work and order her into the bedroom without any preliminaries. By now, she’s on edge, trying to figure out what’s going on. That’s right where I want her.

  I’m euphoric with anticipation as I secure Fluff—I’ve learned the hard way, with teeth in my ass, not to allow her anywhere near us when we’re having sex—and head for the master bedroom.

  Natalie is right where she’s supposed to be, beautifully nude and on her knees at the foot of the bed, her head bent in supplication that makes me immediately hard. She’s so fucking beautiful and all mine for the rest of our lives. How did I ever get so lucky? I ask myself that every day.

  “You need to be punished, my love. Do you know why?”

  “N-no. Sir.” She quickly adds that second word.

  The slight stammer makes me even harder, as does the sight of her tight nipples. She might be unnerved, but she’s also excited.

  “Look at me.”

  She lifts her head and shows me the gorgeous green eyes she used to hide behind brown contacts. That was before the whole world knew her story. Now she has no need to hide from anyone, least of all me. “Did you talk to Aileen about something that’s none of your business?”

  Her lips part on a gasp, and her big eyes get even bigger. She’s so damned cute that I want to say to hell with the punishment. But I can’t do that. It’s my job as her husband and her Dom to teach her about our lifestyle and correct her when she makes mistakes. So far she’s taken to it like the proverbial duck to water. This is the first time she’s stepped outside the lines, and even though it was for a good cause, I can’t let it go. “Answer me, Natalie. Did you tell Aileen something that’s none of your business?”

  “Y-yes… But—”

  I hold up my hand to stop her from continuing. “Please stand and bend over with your elbows on the bed.”

  “Flynn—”

  “Is that my name here?”

  “Sir, please… Let me explain.”

  “You already explained why you did it. Now you have to take your punishment.”

  “Wh-what is my punishment?”

  “A sound spanking. I think twenty is a good number, don’t you?”

  “N-no, Sir. It’s not a good number.”

  “Thirty?”

  “No!”

  “Twenty it is, then. Hurry up. I’d hate to have to add more because you’re not moving fast enough.”

  She scurries from her knees into position over the bed, casting a nervous glance at me over her shoulder.

  “What’s your safe word?”

  “Fluff.”

  “And when should you use it?”

  “Any time it gets to be too much.”

  “What happens if you use it?”

  “Everything stops.”

  “That’s right.” I caress her soft, supple backside, loving the tremble that rocks her body. Her responsiveness to my touch is such a huge turn-on. “Tell me why you’re being punished.”

  “B-because I told Aileen about Kristian’s kink.”

  “And why shouldn’t you have done that?”

  “It’s n-not my business.”

  “Exactly.” I deliver the first of twenty spanks to the lower part of her right cheek.

  She cries out in surprise and then moans when I rub the spot, turning pain into desire.

  “Count for me.”

  “One,” she says through gritted teeth.

  The second one lands on the exact same spot, which will hurt, but this is about punishment after all. “Two.”

  “Tell me you understand why we expect you to keep our secrets.”

  “I do,” she says, sniffing. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have—”

  The third spank comes down on the lower part of her left cheek. “Th-three.”

  “No, you really shouldn’t have, sweetheart.” I rub the spot and watch closely as she squirms, trying to find some relief from the ache between her legs. “Do you need your safe word?”

  “No.”

  I deliver ten more in rapid succession, not giving her time to react before the next one lands. “Are you losing count, sweetheart? Do we need to start over?”

>   “No! That’s thirteen.”

  “More than halfway there.”

  A sob erupts from her, and I’m tempted to stop.

  “Do you need your safe word?”

  She shakes her head.

  “Words, sweetheart. Give me words.”

  “No, Sir.”

  I’m so damned proud of her. She’s strong and determined and all mine. I give her five more spanks. Her bottom is now a fiery pink, and the scent of her desire makes me crazy, especially when I notice that her inner thighs are wet. “Two more and then we’re done.”

  She grasps the quilt and drops her head. Moving her hair out of the way, I stroke her neck and down her back, drawing out the suspense that much longer. She’s quivering madly when I deliver number nineteen, rubbing the spot until I hear her moan.

  “I think my baby might be enjoying her punishment a little too much.” To make my point, I slide my fingers through the flood of moisture between her legs. “Ah-ha! I thought so.”

  She makes a noise that can’t be called a groan or a grunt. It’s somewhere in between. I love her like this, submissive to me, allowing me to control her pleasure and her pain. It’s the greatest feeling, the highest of highs, to know she trusts me so implicitly.

  I grasp my cock and push into her. “Don’t come. Not yet.”

  Despite the flood of moisture, we’re always a tight fit, and I’m careful not to hurt her. It takes a good ten minutes before I’m fully inside her—my favorite place to be. Reaching under her, I cup her gorgeous breasts and toy with her nipples. Her inner muscles clamp down on me and I count backward from a hundred to hold off the orgasm that wants out—right now. But I’m not finished with her. Not yet.

  I slow the pace, knowing it will make her crazy, and I’m not disappointed.

  She raises her hips, looking for more, but I don’t give it to her.

  “Flynn!”

  “Is that my name in here?” I deliver the twentieth and final spank, and she ignites, coming so hard, she takes me with her, even though I’m nowhere near ready. “Did I tell you to come?” I ask her when I catch my breath and my head stops spinning.