Valorous (Quantum Series Book 2) Read online

  I come down from the incredible high to discover his finger is now inside me, not far enough to cause pain, but far enough to force me to confront the dark pleasure of yet another part of my body that’s been awakened to passion.

  “I want to fuck you here,” he growls in my ear as he pushes his finger deeper inside me.

  I can’t begin to fathom how he’d ever fit there, but I trust him to show me how amazing it could be. I want to give him everything, every part of me.

  Fully seated inside me, stretching me to my physical and emotional limits, he doesn’t move anything but his finger, in and out of my bottom. “So hot, so tight… I can’t wait to feel your ass gripping my cock.”

  I’m losing my mind one small piece at a time. He plays me like a maestro, tuned only to me. And then I’m coming again, harder and stronger than before. He’s right there with me, gasping into my ear as he drives his finger and cock into me at the same time.

  I’m a shuddering, trembling mess afterward. My heart beats so fast, I wonder if it will burst free from my chest.

  An announcement from the pilot brings me back to reality and reminds me we’re on an airplane. “Good morning, Mr. Godfrey and Ms. Bryant. We hope you slept well.”

  Flynn snickers and squeezes my breast gently. “We slept great,” he whispers in my ear.

  “We’re about forty-five minutes from arrival at LAX, and we expect a smooth landing. It’s just after eleven p.m. in LA. We’ll have you on the ground shortly.”

  “I need a shower,” Flynn says. “Join me?”

  “It’s too small for both of us. You go first.”

  “Are you sure?”

  “Yeah, go ahead.”

  He kisses my shoulder and withdraws from me slowly and carefully.

  The muscles between my legs contract and spasm, making me squirm. I don’t know how I’ll ever look at him again after what we just did. A week ago, the idea of having sex with any man was unthinkable, and now I’m having dirty sex with Flynn and loving it.

  He’s certainly given me plenty to think about—and to anticipate. I can’t wait for more.

  I’m a fucking animal. That’s the only possible explanation for what just happened. What was I thinking? This is a woman who was sexually assaulted as a teenager. I’m her first lover—ever. And I’m already pushing her for things far outside the comfort zones of most women, let alone one who has been assaulted. I’ll be lucky if she doesn’t leave me the second we get off this plane.

  My hands are shaking as I wash my hair and body. I thought I could control this thing, but I’ve just proven to myself—and her—that I can’t control anything unless I control everything. If I show her that side of me, she’ll leave me for certain, like my ex-wife did, calling me a depraved monster on her way out the door.

  If Natalie ever looks at me the way Valerie did, I’ll never survive it. The parallels are not lost on me. The situation now is similar to what it was then, except I love Natalie more than I ever loved the woman I married. It took years to get over the demise of my marriage. If Natalie leaves me, I already know I’ll never get over her.

  What just happened can never happen again. I need to watch my fucking mouth with her and keep my hands where they belong. There’s far too much at stake to risk driving her away by showing her the depths of my desire for her.

  I want to fuck you here. God, did I really say that as I pushed my finger into her ass? A surge of nausea burns my throat when I imagine what she must be thinking right now. She’s shackled herself to a beast who has systematically dismantled her well-ordered life in the short time we’ve been together.

  She’s going to hate me before long if I’m not careful. As I soap up my chest, I realize I’m hard again, which has me swearing under my breath. I’m accustomed to indulging my stronger-than-average sex drive, not suppressing it. But I will suppress it before I’ll do anything to scare a woman who has already known more than her share of fear when it comes to men and sex.

  And for what it’s worth, I don’t even yet know the full extent of what was done to her, and I’m already pushing her for things even the most sexually seasoned of women often find off-putting. What if that monster Stone sodomized her? What if I brought back painful memories with what I just did?

  I feel like I’m having a heart attack as that possibility settles on me. I have to know. Right now. I hastily rinse the soap from my body and grab a towel, drying off as I leave the bathroom.

  Natalie is right where I left her, lying on her side, facing away from me. Her exposed shoulder bears a bright red mark from where I bit her in the throes of passion.

  I’m horrified and gripped by paralyzing fear. I force myself to walk around the bed and sit next to her. “Are you okay?”

  She doesn’t look at me when she says, “Uh-huh. All done in the shower?”

  “Yeah. Nat…”

  “I’d better get in there before they’re telling us to take our seats for landing.” She gathers the sheet up around her naked body and takes it with her into the bathroom. The door closes, and the sound of the lock engaging is like a bullet through my heart.

  I’m so fucked.

  Something is terribly wrong. Flynn is fairly vibrating with stress. I’m afraid to even ask because he looks like he’s about to lose it as we get off the plane and into the SUV that awaits us on the tarmac. I’m carrying Fluff, and Flynn has his phone pressed to his ear, but he hasn’t said a word that I could hear since he took the call. Addie has gone in a different car after saying she’ll see us later.

  “Fine,” he finally says, “give me a couple of days and then we’ll talk.” After another pause, he says, “Sounds good.” He ends the call and stashes the phone in his pocket.

  “What’s wrong?”

  “What? Nothing. That was my partner Jasper. Oscar nominations are in the morning and he’s wound up.”

  “I know you well enough by now to be able to tell when something is wrong, Flynn. You’re so tightly wound, you’re about to snap.”

  “I’m not tightly wound because of Jasper.”

  “Oh. How come, then? Is it the Oscars?”

  “No.” After a long moment of silence, he says, “Why can’t you look at me?”

  “What?”

  “You haven’t looked at me once since we got up.”

  I turn my head and deliberately look him dead in the eyes. “Like that?”

  “Yeah, just like that.”

  “What’s your point?”

  “I’m sorry about before.”

  “What’re you sorry about?”

  “The stuff I did and said… It was too much too soon. I shouldn’t have…”

  “Flynn,” I say on a huge exhale of relief, “stop it. I loved everything we did. And if I couldn’t look at you, it’s only because I was embarrassed by how much I loved it.”

  He stares at me. “You loved it.”

  “I loved it, and you would’ve heard as much if I’d been free to scream my head off. But with your assistant on the other side of a thin door, I felt it necessary to curb my desire to scream.”

  His fingers curl into the stiff muscles of his thighs. “You have to tell me what happened to you, Nat. I have to know so I won’t do anything to trigger a flashback.”

  I look down at my hands, which are folded in my lap. “I don’t know if I can.”

  “I’m so afraid of doing the wrong thing.”

  “Nothing you do is wrong, because you love me.”

  “I love you more than life itself. I’m obsessed with you. I want to hold you and kiss you and touch you and make you scream, but the thought of doing anything to make you afraid… I’m losing my mind over that, Nat.”

  I lean into him, and he puts his arm around me, drawing a low growl from Fluff that makes us laugh.

  “At least she’s not biting you anymore.”

  “I’ve been going crazy thinking about the things I did and said…”

  “I loved it. I want more.”

  “Natali
e…”

  I giggle at the way he says my name, as if he’s barely able to contain himself. Never in my wildest dreams did I think I’d find a man like him. We’ve known each other a matter of days, and yet I believe, deep in my bones, that he will love me for the rest of our lives. And I will love him just as much for just as long.

  “Are you laughing at me?” he asks.

  “Maybe a little.”

  “Do you know what happens to a naughty girl who laughs in her lover’s face?”

  “No,” I say breathlessly, “what happens?”

  He leans in to whisper in my ear. “She gets her sweet ass spanked until its red and rosy.”

  My mouth goes dry and my hands begin to sweat. “You wouldn’t dare…” But I already know he would, and I’d probably love it as much as I’ve loved everything else we’ve done together.

  “Try me.” He kisses me, a soft, sweet caress that belies the intensity of our conversation. “But I’m not laying one finger on you again until I know what happened to you. I can’t handle the fear of scaring you. I have to know, Nat.”

  He’s right, and I know it. Just like he doesn’t want me to be afraid, I don’t want that for him either.

  “We’ll talk soon.”

  “Tomorrow.”

  “Okay.”

  He takes hold of my hand, laces his fingers between mine and holds on tight the rest of the way to Malibu.

  Hayden’s beach house is nothing like Marlowe Sloane’s, which is somewhat of a disappointment. Whereas hers is a cozy cabana, his is all glass and blond wood and contemporary angles. It has none of the charm that I loved about Marlowe’s place, but who am I to complain about a multimillion-dollar waterfront estate that has been made available to us on a moment’s notice? I look forward to checking out the view in the morning.

  “Why don’t you have a place out here?” I ask Flynn as we get ready for bed.

  Fluff is making herself right at home, running around checking everything out.

  “I did for a while, but I didn’t get out here often enough to justify the cost of it. I sold it to Marlowe.”

  “Oh! That was your place? I loved it there.”

  “I did, too, but I was hardly ever there. She wanted it, so I sold it to her.”

  “That’s a fantastic house.”

  “This one,” he says, “not so much?”

  “No, it’s great!” The last thing I want him to think is that I’m ungrateful to him or his friends, who have stepped up so completely for me since my life blew up. Despite my rocky start with Hayden, he has proven himself a friend to both of us in the last couple of days.

  Flynn laughs at my distress. “It’s not what I would choose either.”

  “Thank goodness.”

  We share a warm smile.

  “Are we setting the alarm to get up for the nomination announcement?” he asks.

  “We sure are.”

  He sets the alarm on his phone and crawls into bed with me.

  “Will you be able to sleep with the nominations coming?”

  “Yeah. It’s exciting, but certainly not the most important thing in my life right now.” He gives me an extra squeeze and the next thing I know, the alarm is going off and Flynn is groaning in my ear.

  “Come on.” I tug his arm. “Let’s go watch you be nominated for an Academy Award.”

  “Don’t say it! You’ll jinx me.”

  I love his superstitious side. It makes him so incredibly human. Even though he’ll definitely be nominated, he doesn’t take anything for granted.

  “I’m starving,” he says.

  “I could eat.”

  We raid Hayden’s fridge to make a big breakfast and enjoy coffee and mimosas as the sun begins to rise, casting a warm glow over the Pacific. Hayden’s view is spectacular. At five twenty-five, we turn on the TV to watch the nominations, which come rolling in for Camouflage, culminating with a nomination for him as best actor and the movie as best picture.

  Our screams of excitement make Fluff bark her head off, but we are too caught up in our celebration to chastise her.

  I hug him so tightly and try not to cry all over him. I’m so proud and happy for him, and I love sharing this special moment with him.

  Flynn’s phone chirps with a text right before it rings. He puts the phone on speaker and takes the call from Hayden.

  “Flynn! Wake up! You’re an Oscar nominee and so am I, and so is Jasper and so is the film! We got the most nominations! Are you listening?”

  “I’m awake and I’m listening.” He winks at me, playing along with Hayden as if he doesn’t already know the tally. “Wow, that’s incredible. The most nominations, huh?”

  “Twelve! They nominated us for everything—adapted screenplay, makeup, score, cinematography. Fucking A, Flynn! We kicked ass!”

  “That’s so cool. I can’t even get my head around it.”

  “At long last, my friend. For the rest of our lives, we’re Academy Award nominees and probably winners—”

  “Hayden! Stop! Don’t say it.”

  “Christ, Flynn, you and your superstitions! Go back to bed. I’m getting bombed.”

  “It’s six in the morning, and you have the Critics’ Choice awards tonight.”

  “I’ll be sober by then. And I’ll accept for you when you win. Oh—call your parents! They’ll want to know.”

  “All right. Thanks for calling—and congratulations to you, too. Camo never would’ve happened without you.”

  “Without both of us. Go celebrate.”

  I hug him again. “I’m so thrilled for you and so proud!”

  “Thanks. Wow. I had no idea it would feel this good.”

  “I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again—you deserve every award in the world for the work you did in Camouflage.”

  “Thanks, sweetheart.”

  His phone rings nonstop with calls from his parents, sisters, friends and colleagues. Then his publicist, Liza, calls with requests for interviews that keep him tied up for the next couple of hours. While he spends most of the morning on the phone, I keep us both in champagne. We’re giddy and more than a little buzzed by the time the phone finally stops ringing around eleven.

  He puts his arms around me and holds me tight.

  “How you feeling?” I ask.

  “It’s surreal. My parents were so excited. I love that.”

  “They’re so proud.”

  “That’s all that mattered to me for the longest time—making them proud. But now I want you to be, too.”

  “I’m so proud I could burst. And so are they.”

  He smiles and kisses me. “Thank you for that. Means a lot.” He kisses me again. “Want to hit the beach?”

  “Would it be okay if we hit the deck instead of the beach?” Despite the security people who met us at LAX and surround us at the house, I’m not ready to be seen in public quite yet.

  “Whatever you want, sweetheart.” He kisses my forehead. “Come on, let’s go get changed.”

  “Flynn?”

  “Hmm?”

  “Thank you for bringing me here, for knowing what I need before I need it. For everything.”

  “I can’t believe you’re thanking me when I feel like the luckiest bastard who ever lived because I get to spend today and tonight and tomorrow and the next day with you.”

  “We’re both lucky.”

  He wraps me up in his strong arms. “Yes, we are.”

  Chapter 5

  We pass a magical, relaxing day at Hayden’s pool. The housekeeper, Connie, serves us a delicious lunch that includes a bottle of ice-cold chardonnay from the Quantum Vineyard in Napa. After she serves our lunch, Flynn tells Connie to take a paid vacation and that Hayden will call her when he needs her to come back to work.

  “Thank you so much, Mr. Flynn. You enjoy yourselves.”

  “Who is paying for her vacation?” I ask when we are alone. “You or Hayden?”

  “Hayden of course,” he says cheekily, making me laugh.
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  “Does he know that?”

  “What he doesn’t know will never hurt him.”

  “Any connection between the vineyard and the production company?” I ask after Flynn opens a second bottle. We’re sitting together on a double lounge chair next to the pool, which overlooks the ocean below. Between the stunning scenery and the gorgeous man snuggled up to me, I’m on sensory overload. Fluff is curled up between my feet, enjoying the warm sunshine.

  “Yep. We own it.”

  “What else does Quantum own?”

  “A lot of real estate, most of it in New York and LA, a couple of restaurants, four radio stations, six TV stations. I think that’s everything.”

  “Wow. I figured you were all about making movies.”

  “For the most part, we are, but we believe in diversification.”

  “Your life is fascinating to me, and not because you’re famous. It’s the scope that’s mind-boggling. Right when I think I’ve got the full picture, there’s more.”

  A strange look crosses his face, but he quickly erases it with one of his trademark smiles. “We also believe in living life to the fullest.”

  “How did the five of you come together to form the company?”

  “I’ve worked with Hayden from the beginning. We’ve made six films together and produced five others. Marlowe was in two of our early films and was interested in getting into producing. Jasper, who’s a cinematographer, and Kristian, a producer who came along later, were a good fit for us because we share a similar vision about the kinds of films we want to make and produce. It sort of happened organically.” He tops off both our glasses. “This is a tough business. It’s nice to work with people I trust and who trust me.”

  “I’m looking forward to meeting Jasper and Kristian.”

  “You’ll fall in love with Jasper’s British accent. We call him the Panty Dropper.”

  “Dare I ask?”

  “We joke that panties drop every time he opens his mouth.”