Butler, Vermont Series Boxed Set, Books 1-3 Read online

  “I know.”

  “Maybe we shouldn’t…” Her throat tightened, and tears filled her eyes. The idea of missing out on something she wanted so badly devastated her. But the thought of being flattened in the aftermath was worse.

  Grayson pulled into the driveway at a three-story Victorian. He left the engine running so they’d have heat but turned in his seat to face her, keeping his grip on her hand. “I want you to know I’m as surprised by this as you are, and I understand the many reasons why it’s a seriously bad idea to allow this to become even more complicated than it already is.”

  Emma waited breathlessly to hear what else he would say.

  “But, even knowing all the reasons why it’s a bad idea, I want you.” He brought her hand to his lips and set her on fire by brushing his lips over her skin. “I want to hold you and kiss you and make love to you and talk to you and laugh with you and tell you things I’ve never told anyone else and spend time with you and your sweet daughter. And I can honestly tell you that I’ve never said anything even remotely close to that to any other woman. Ever.”

  She tried to breathe, as if that could possibly slow the wild beat of her heart.

  “It’s entirely up to you, Emma. I’ll totally understand if you ask me to take you back to Molly and Lincoln’s.”

  “You would?”

  He nodded, but his eyes gave away his sadness.

  “I don’t want that. I want you, as much as you want me. I want to take this time with you and to feel the way I do when I’m with you, even if there’s no chance of it being more than what it is right now.”

  “How do you feel when you’re with me?”

  “Happy, safe, adored, edgy, nervous, exhilarated, hopeful.”

  “That’s a whole lot of feeling going on.”

  She nodded.

  “I feel the same way. All of it, even the concern about what next week will bring and how I’ll ever stand to let you go when it’s time for you to leave.”

  It helped, somewhat, to know he shared her concerns.

  “So what now?” she asked.

  “Do you want to come in, or do you want to go back to Molly’s? I’ll respect whatever you decide.”

  “I’d like to see your new home,” she said, feeling shy and excited at the same time. If they went inside, she knew exactly what would happen, and was going into it with her eyes—and her heart—wide open.

  “Come on, then.” He killed the engine and got out of the car.

  Emma met him and followed him into the house and up the two flights of stairs to his third-floor apartment.

  He unlocked the door and guided her in ahead of him.

  Her heart beat so hard and so fast that she feared she’d hyperventilate. Ten years was a long time to go without. What if she’d forgotten how? Maybe it would turn out to be a disaster, and that would make it easier to put it—and him—behind her after this week.

  Now there’s a cheery thought.

  Annoyed with herself, Emma tried to shake off the worries and focus on the apartment and the man who’d so totally captivated her.

  “So I told you my cousin Ella is moving in with her fiancé, Gavin,” he said. “She’s leaving the sofa and the bed because she doesn’t need either of them at his place.”

  “That makes it easier for you,” Emma said, taking in the small but cozy space.

  “She said it took six guys to get the sofa up the stairs, so I’m glad not to have to deal with that.” He took her coat and hung it next to his on a rack by the door. “She’s going to turn over her landline number to me, too.”

  “I haven’t had a landline in years.”

  “Me either, but you’ve got to have one in the cell phone dead zone known as Butler.” He held out his hand. “Come see the bedroom.”

  Here it was. The moment of truth. She could still say no. She could still walk away with her heart intact. She stared at his outstretched hand, feeling as if her entire life had come down to this man and this moment. Did she dare take the leap and say to hell with the painful consequences? How could she not?

  She took his hand and saw as much as felt his relief.

  Knowing he wanted this as badly as she did made it easier to take the first step and then the second.

  He stopped next to the big bed Ella had left behind and drew Emma into his arms, looking down at her with affection and desire. “I’m glad you decided to stay.”

  “So am I. For now, anyway.”

  His lips curved into a small smile. “If this is meant to be, we’ll find a way to make it happen. And if it’s not, we’ll enjoy it while it lasts.”

  It was the exact perfect thing for him to say, and it gave her the courage to curl her hand around the back of his neck and bring him down to her for a kiss in which all the usual preliminaries were skipped. Her mouth opened to accept his tongue and her body arched into his, wanting to be as close as she could possibly get to him. The time for questions and hesitation was over. This was the time for pleasure, for taking what she wanted for a change and not denying herself.

  She tucked her hands under his sweater and flattened them on his back, loving the way he shuddered with desire that she could feel in the hard press of his erection against her belly. She pushed the sweater up and broke the kiss to remove it. Then she reached for the hem of her own sweater and pulled it up and over her head. Underneath, she wore a formfitting tank with a built-in bra.

  “You’re so beautiful, Emma,” he said gruffly, running his hands over her arms and then up to frame her face. “I thought so the first time I ever saw you. Who, I wondered, is that? She’s stunning.” He kissed her neck, making her knees go weak. “And then I got to talk to you and found out that you’re as beautiful on the inside as you are on the outside.”

  She wanted to touch him everywhere, beginning with the muscular hills and valleys of his chest and well-defined abdomen. “You’re rather beautifully put together yourself.”

  “I got nothing on you.”

  “We can agree to disagree on that.”

  “I want to ask you something, and if you don’t want to tell me, you don’t have to.”

  The statement cut through her buzz of arousal, bringing her back to reality. “Okay…”

  “Have you done this since Simone was conceived?”

  Mortified to have to admit that she hadn’t been with a man in so long, she tried to pull free of his embrace.

  Grayson held her close. “There’s no shame in it, Emma. I only asked because I want to be careful with you.”

  She trembled from the strength of her desire for him. “I haven’t.”

  “If you want to stop, all you have to do is say so, okay?”

  Nodding, she forced herself to look up at him, to meet the gaze that was looking at her with only care and concern, and not judgment.

  He lifted the tank, watching her as he skimmed his fingertips over the skin he revealed.

  Emma held her breath until the shirt cleared her head and her naked breasts were crushed against his chest.

  “Ah, God,” he whispered. “Feels so good.”

  “Mmm.” She couldn’t talk or think or do anything other than feel—everything.

  He unbuttoned and unzipped her jeans and dropped to his knees to help her out of them, his hands gliding over bare legs that quivered in response to his touch. Then he cupped her bottom and drew her even closer to him so he could press his mouth against her silk-covered core.

  Emma cried out from the shock and the heat that zipped through her body.

  He turned her so she could back up to the bed, but before she sat on the edge where he wanted her, he removed her panties, leaving her bared to him in every possible way.

  She wanted to memorize the hungry way he looked at her, but then he demanded her full attention when he dropped to his knees and made himself at home between her legs. Emma didn’t have a chance to tell him she’d never… Not like this…

  He used his fingers to open her to his tongue.


  Oh my God. This must be what it was like to have a heart attack, she thought in the seconds after his tongue stroked her clit for the first time. Dear God…

  He rested one arm on her lower abdomen to keep her still and used the fingers of his other hand to drive her crazy. No other word could possibly describe the way he made her feel as he stroked her with his tongue while pressing his fingers inside her. Then he sucked on her clit as he drove his fingers into her, and she exploded, coming so hard, she saw stars.

  Still in the throes of the most epic release of her life, Emma had the sense to realize she’d probably made a huge mistake letting this happen.

  If only she could find the wherewithal to care.

  Chapter 5

  Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.

  —Lao Tzu

  Grayson couldn’t wait to be inside her the next time that happened. Keeping up the gentle strokes of his fingers, he kissed his way up the front of her, noting the rosy glow of her soft skin. He drew her nipple into his mouth and felt her internal muscles clamp down on his fingers.

  His cock wanted in on this party in the worst way, but he couldn’t stop kissing her and sucking on her sweet nipples long enough to free himself from his pants, to roll on a condom, to do anything but keep kissing her. She made the sexiest noises—little whimpers and mewls and moans. Every one of them made him more determined to bring her the ultimate pleasure.

  “Grayson…”

  “What, honey?”

  She reached for his pants, fumbling with the button and groaning with frustration when she couldn’t get it free.

  Chuckling softly, he helped her out. “Something you want?”

  She looked up at him with those clear blue eyes and nodded.

  He withdrew from her only long enough to get rid of his pants and boxers and to roll on one of the condoms he’d brought in case this happened.

  The whole time, she watched him as he watched her, which was how he noticed her trepidation at the size of his cock.

  “I… um…” She scooted back on the bed, landing on the pillows and curling up on her side. “That’s not going to fit.”

  Did she have any idea how damned cute she was or how sweet or how sexy? She shivered, and that was when he realized he’d forgotten to turn up the heat.

  He left her long enough to see to that and pulled the blanket Ella had left at the foot of the bed over them as he joined her. “Come here.” With his hand on her hip, he brought her into his embrace. “Relax, honey.” He caressed her back in soothing circles. “We’ll take it nice and easy, and I promise it’ll feel so good.”

  “I… It’s been so long.”

  “I know, sweetheart.”

  “There was never anyone I wanted to be with, and it just sort of happened that way.”

  “You were busy raising your wonderful daughter.”

  “You don’t have to sugarcoat it. My sister has been telling me for years that I needed to get back in the saddle.”

  “If this is too much too soon—”

  She laughed. “It’s definitely too much.” To make her point, she wrapped her hand around his cock and stroked him until he feared this would be over before it started. “And it’s also long overdue.”

  “If you want to wait, we can.”

  “I don’t want to wait.” She moved onto her back and urged him to come with her.

  Propped on his elbows, he gazed down at her as she looked up at him. He felt the punch of their connection deep inside, making him ache for her in a way he never had for anyone else.

  She wrapped her arms and legs around him, opening herself to him in every possible way.

  He rocked against her, his cock sliding through the slickness between her legs and making her gasp every time the head nudged against her clit. Waiting until he was sure she was ready, he reached down to take himself in hand to enter her in the smallest possible increments.

  The fit was impossibly tight, and he had to remind himself to keep breathing as he worked his way into her.

  She clung to him, her fingers digging into the dense muscles on his back and her body arching into each stroke.

  “Talk to me,” he said, kissing her neck and then her lips. “Tell me how it feels.”

  “Big.”

  He nearly lost his composure when he laughed. “Is that right?”

  “So big.” Then she groaned because her commentary only made him harder than he already was.

  “For me, the key words are tight and hot,” he whispered against her ear, making her shudder from the heat of his breath. Bending his head, he drew her nipple into his mouth, sucking and tugging as she squirmed beneath him. He sent a hand down the front of her, teased her clit with his fingers and pressed the rest of the way into her tight channel. Christ have mercy, this was already the hottest sex of his life, and they were only getting started.

  Every stroke of his fingers had her internal muscles gripping him so tightly, he had to fight the need to come the entire time he was inside her. He withdrew as slowly as he’d gone in and sank back into her.

  “Do it again,” she said, her eyes closed and her lips parted.

  He did it again and again, picking up the pace when he was sure she could handle more, and continued to stroke her clit. His muscles burned from the effort to hold off and wait for her, but she made it well worth the wait when she exploded, holding on to him for dear life as her entire body shuddered and trembled.

  Grayson pressed deep into her one more time and let go, losing himself in her sweetness and heat while breathing in the scent that would remind him always of her. This, he thought as his body cooled and twitched with aftershocks, is the kind of thing that changes plans and lives. And he’d thought he’d had great sex with Heather. That was nothing compared to what’d just happened with Emma.

  “Am I crushing you?” he said after a long silence.

  “Not at all.” Her hands continued to move on his back, soothing as much as arousing him.

  “Are you okay?”

  “Uh-huh. You?”

  “Never been better.”

  “Never?” she asked in a small voice that tugged at his every emotion.

  He raised his head to look down at her. “Never,” he said, kissing her. “Not even close.”

  She beamed with pleasure at hearing that. “Glad to know I’ve still got it.”

  “Oh, you’ve got it, all right. In fact, I can’t wait to have more of what you’ve got.”

  “You were worth waiting for, Grayson.”

  Her softly spoken words touched him deep inside. “So were you.”

  Lucy stood at the bottom of the bunny hill and watched as Colton patiently taught Simone how to ski. She could see him talking with his hands and pointing to the skis as well as demonstrating what he was trying to convey to the little girl who hung on his every word. Simone loved Colton almost as much as Lucy did.

  Colton pointed to the bottom of the hill, and Simone nodded.

  Lucy was too far away to see for sure, but she suspected Simone was biting her lower lip in concentration as she tried to put it all together—skis and poles and body positioning.

  Colton stayed close, ready to intervene in case of disaster.

  Wearing the helmet Colton had insisted on to protect her head, Simone moved slowly, carefully and with determination as she started down the little hill.

  “You’re doing great,” Colton called to her. “Keep it up!”

  Lucy used her phone to video Simone’s descent as well as her triumphant smile at safely reaching the bottom of the hill. “Great job! You did it!”

  “I want to do it again. Can we go again, Uncle Colton?”

  “You bet.” Winking at Lucy, he steered Simone toward the towrope that would take them back up the hill.

  Every time they were with Simone, he was endlessly patient and creative in thinking up ways to entertain an active, bright nine-year-old. He’d even gotten Simone intereste
d in the making of maple syrup, and now she wanted to come back to Vermont in the spring to help during the sugaring season.

  They waved from the top of the hill, and Lucy began recording again, following Simone as she made the tight little turns that Colton had taught her.

  He was going to be such a wonderful father someday. Lucy wished she knew when that someday might be. They didn’t talk about getting married or having a family. Over the last year, they’d fallen into a routine that split their time between his home in Vermont and hers in New York, although lately they seemed to spend much more time in Vermont.

  Not that she minded. She loved it here as much as he did and enjoyed being surrounded by his family. Having her best friend, Cameron, nearby made Lucy even happier. She’d met Colton through Cameron, after she got together with his brother Will. Now they were married with a baby on the way, while Lucy and Colton were… stuck.

  Not that things weren’t good with them. Everything was great, and that was the problem, or so she’d decided. What reason did they have to take the next step if everything was perfect the way it was? Her dad used to tell her and Emma that no man would buy the cow if he was getting the milk for free. Such a stupid saying, but Lucy was beginning to wonder if that was why Colton wasn’t looking to buy the cow. She certainly gave away plenty of free milk to her insatiable fiancé.

  “She’s a natural,” Colton said after their third trip down the hill.

  “You’re doing great, Simone,” Lucy called to the red-faced girl with the great big smile. She was thrilled with herself for having learned something new and basked in the glow of Colton’s praise.

  Lucy watched Simone slide smoothly into position on the towrope, which carried her up the hill.

  Colton was right behind her, ready to step in if need be.

  Lucy didn’t know why she felt so down today about her relationship with Colton. Well, yes, she did… She’d been hoping since their engagement months ago that he might bring up the subject of their wedding, but he never mentioned it. As far as she knew, he wasn’t even thinking about actually getting married, despite the matrimonial outbreak going on around them.