Waiting for Love Read online

  They stepped into the marina restaurant where Grant’s fiancée, Stephanie, appeared to be doing battle with the cash register.

  “Adam! Is that really you? You’re just the man we need right now! Come. Quickly.”

  Luke sent him a sympathetic smile and gestured for Adam to proceed to the counter.

  “Hello to you, too, Steph.” He returned the quick hug she gave him. “What seems to be the problem?”

  “This stupid thing keeps rebooting itself right in the middle of transactions. Tell me there’s something you can do.”

  “If you give me a minute to look at it, I should be able to tell you.” He reached into the pocket of his cargo shorts and withdrew the glasses that had become necessary for twelve-hour days in front of computers and slid them on.

  “Very sexy in a nerdy sort of way,” Stephanie said after careful assessment.

  “Gee, thanks. You still want my help?”

  “Sorry. I just have no time for this. I need to get back to my restaurant, but I can’t leave them in the lurch. And I need to check on Grant.”

  As Adam clicked around behind the scenes on the computer’s hard drive, he said, “I saw him a little while ago.”

  “Was he up?”

  “Just.”

  Her deep sigh said it all.

  “What gives?”

  “Hell if I know. He’s not talking. He tosses and turns all night. When he does sleep, usually during the day, he wakes up sweating and breathing hard like he’s been running a marathon or something. He’s not working or writing or getting anything done. It’s all very unlike him.”

  “So you’re worried?”

  “I’m very worried, but I don’t know what to do. Everyone says to give him time, but it’s been a week, and he’s still a mess. Physically he seems fine, so I don’t think it’s that.”

  “My mom thinks something happened out there that he can’t bring himself to talk about.”

  “Like what?”

  “I don’t know, but it had to be pretty traumatic. Too bad there isn’t a shrink on this island. Seems like we might need one.”

  “If he won’t talk to me, what makes you think he’d talk to a shrink?”

  “Maybe it’s something he doesn’t want to tell you or any of us because he doesn’t want us to know about it.” With a few more keystrokes, he had cleared the cache on the register’s computer and freed up enough memory to get it running again. “There you go.”

  Stephanie’s eyes bugged. “What did you do?”

  Amused by her reaction, he tugged off his glasses. “Do you honestly care?”

  “No, I absolutely don’t care. I only care that it’s working again. Thank you so much!”

  “My pleasure. Hey, so before you run off, let me know what I can do to help with Grant. I’ll keep trying to get him to talk to me, but if there’s something else I can do, call me, will you?”

  “I will. Thanks, Adam. I’ll take whatever help I can get at this point. Mac and Evan don’t want to talk about it either, so they aren’t much help, and Dan is in pretty rough shape. The ribs are giving him a lot of grief. Janey is so pregnant and hormonal, your mom drives him crazy, and your dad can’t talk about any of it without weeping, which makes it harder on Grant.” She threw her hands into the air. “You might be exactly what we need.”

  “I won’t leave until he’s better. I promise.”

  She surprised him when she hugged him again. “Sorry to be so blunt about your family.”

  Adam laughed and patted her back. “You’re not telling me anything I don’t already know, and I’m happy to do what I can to help.”

  “I have to go, but let me give you my cell number so we can keep in touch.”

  They programmed numbers into each other’s phones and were swapping them back when Mac and Big Mac came into the restaurant, both of them grinning widely.

  “What’s this we hear about a visitor?” Mac asked.

  Their father made a beeline for Adam, enveloping him in a bear hug that brought tears to Adam’s eyes. His father had worn the same aftershave all of Adam’s life, and it was one of the many familiar scents of home.

  “So nice to see you, son,” Big Mac said, stepping back to take a close look at Adam. “You look tired. Have you been sleeping?”

  “Not so well in the last week.”

  “Me either.”

  Big Mac looked a little haggard around the edges, but with his usual aviator sunglasses in place over his eyes, Adam couldn’t gauge the true extent of his father’s exhaustion.

  Mac playfully nudged their father out of the way so he could hug Adam. “Hey, little brother.” Mac messed up his hair the way he always did, and as usual, it aggravated Adam. “Good of you to come check on us.”

  “I’ve got to run,” Stephanie said to them. “See you all later.”

  “Bye, Steph.”

  “Buy you some chowder, son?” Big Mac asked, gesturing to a free table.

  “I won’t say no to that. I haven’t eaten in hours. The boat was kinda barfy today.”

  “Imagine it would be with the wind whipping the way it is,” Big Mac said as he signaled to one of the young women behind the counter to bring them three bowls of chowder.

  “Coming right up, Mr. McCarthy.”

  “Thank you, sweetheart.” Big Mac removed his shades and propped them on the top of his wiry gray hair.

  Adam bit back a gasp when he got a good look at his dad’s eyes, which were red and ravaged.

  “Don’t look at me like that,” Big Mac growled. “I can’t help that I’ve been a freaking wreck over this whole thing.”

  Mac got up from the table and pushed his chair in. “I’m going home to have lunch with Maddie and the kids. I’ll be back in an hour.”

  “What’s up with him?” Adam asked his dad when they were alone.

  “He can’t stand to see me like this, and I can’t seem to make it stop.” Blinking back tears, Big Mac stared at something over Adam’s shoulder. “It was a very long day. I can’t get past it, no matter how hard I try. All I think about is what could’ve happened.”

  Undone by his father’s tears, Adam rested his hand on Big Mac’s forearm, which was already as tan in May as some people would be in August. “Everyone’s safe, Dad. Don’t drive yourself crazy with what-ifs.”

  “You’re right, and so is your mother and Janey and Mac. Easier said than done, though.” He shrugged. “Anyway, here’s our chowder. Tell me what’s new in New York.”

  “Ah, well,” Adam said with a short laugh. “There’s a story that’ll give you something else to think about.” For his dear old dad’s sake, he gladly told the ugly tale one more time.

  Stephanie left the marina and drove a little too fast on the way into town. Lately she was perpetually rushed, jetting from one job to the other with hardly any time for anything other than work. She’d known it would be chaotic opening her own restaurant while continuing to work for the McCarthys, but the boat accident had added a layer of stress she hadn’t planned on.

  While she wanted to put Grant first, her schedule would be beastly until Race Week concluded and the crowds subsided a bit until Memorial Day Weekend, when the season began in earnest. If she could just get through the next few days, she’d be able to focus on Grant and trying to get him to talk to her about whatever was troubling him.

  Rather than stop at home, she placed a call to him from the car.

  “Hey, babe,” he said as he always did.

  She could tell he was making an effort to keep things normal between them, but nothing had been normal since that horrible day last week when she’d spent eight hours thinking about how she’d ever live without him. “Hi, there. How’re you feeling today?”

  “Fine.”

  “I woke up in the middle of the night and couldn’t find you.”

  “Oh, sorry. I was awake, so I took a walk. I didn’t mean to worry you.”

  “I seem to be worried about you all the time.”

  “
Don’t be. I’m fine. Really.”

  “Grant—”

  “Everything okay at the restaurant?”

  Frustrated that he refused to talk to her about what was bothering him, she gripped the wheel a little tighter. “Yes.”

  “Will you be home for dinner?”

  “By eight or so. I need to make sure we get through the rush, and then I’ll be home. Want me to bring something from the restaurant?”

  “Sure, that sounds good. My folks are doing a dinner for Adam, so I might stop by there for a bit, but I’ll be home by eight. See you then.”

  As the phone line went dead, Stephanie tried to tell herself that it didn’t matter that he hadn’t said he loved her, the way he usually did. She was still thinking about that when she rushed into the Sand & Surf and nearly ran right into Grant’s cousin, Laura McCarthy.

  “Whoa, what’s on fire?” Laura asked, steadying Stephanie.

  “Sorry. I’m always in a rush these days.”

  “How long can you continue to manage McCarthy’s and run your own place, too?”

  “I love working at the marina. Mr. and Mrs. McCarthy have been so good to me, and now they’re going to be my in-laws. I can’t leave them in the lurch right as the season is starting.”

  “I’m sure they’d understand that you’ve got your own business to run.”

  “My goal is to get through this year and then see where things stand.”

  “See if you can do it without running yourself ragged, huh?”

  “I’ll try.”

  As they were about to part company, the main door to the Surf opened, and in walked Grant’s ex-girlfriend, Abby Callahan. This day got better and better.

  “Abby!” Laura said. “What’re you doing here?”

  Abby eyed Stephanie with trepidation that added to Stephanie’s anxiety. “It seems I’m going to be living here again.”

  Stephanie bit back a gasp. Living here?

  “Is that good news or bad news?” Laura asked.

  “Some of both,” Abby said grimly. “Cal and I have broken it off. Janey mentioned you might be looking for someone to manage the gift shop, so I figured I’d check to see if I could help you out.”

  “Oh, that would be awesome,” Laura said, shooting Stephanie a glance.

  For her part, Stephanie felt like she’d been electrocuted. Grant’s ex was back on the island, single again and possibly going to work thirty feet from her in the same hotel? Shoot me now, please. “It’s, ah, nice to see you home, Abby, but I’m sorry to hear about Cal. I have to get to work.” Stephanie gestured to the restaurant. “I’m sure I’ll see you soon.”

  “Congratulations on the engagement and the restaurant,” Abby said with a sweet, genuine smile. “I’m so happy for you—and for Grant.”

  “Thank you.” All at once, it was urgent Stephanie get out of there. “See you later.” She walked slowly and calmly into the restaurant. Once she cleared the doorway, she headed for her office and closed the door behind her. With her palms flat against the desktop, she focused on taking a series of deep breaths that were supposed to calm her nerves. Too bad it didn’t work.

  Abby is home. She and Cal have broken up. Grant’s first love is free again. He’s refusing to talk about what happened to him in the accident. Stephanie’s mind raced through all the scenarios and implications, each more grim than the one before. Would Grant take one look at his old love and want her back?

  “No.” Stephanie ran trembling fingers through her hair. “That won’t happen.” But what if it did? What would she do?

  Why did it feel like everything was spinning out of control, and there was nothing she could do to stop it?

  “I’m so sorry to hear about Cal,” Laura said to Abby.

  “I’m sorry, too. What worked so well here didn’t work as well in Texas, unfortunately.”

  “That’s too bad. Are you okay?”

  Abby shrugged, refusing to cry anymore. Enough already. “I suppose I will be. Eventually.”

  “Well, I can certainly keep you busy if you’re up for a bit of a challenge. We’re waiting for Mac and Luke to finish the trim work in the store, but I can show you the space so you can get an idea of what’s available.”

  “Lead the way.”

  Maddie was curled up on the sofa feeding Hailey when Mac came in through the sliding door from the deck. With one look at his handsome face, she could tell something wasn’t right. But then again, nothing had been right since the accident. At first he’d been belligerent about being forced to stay quiet for a couple of days. Now that he was back to work, though, he was quiet, moody and withdrawn.

  She was hesitant to broach the subject with him. Rather, she’d chosen to wait him out, hoping he’d eventually confide in her.

  “What’re you doing home?”

  “I live here,” he joked as he came over to kiss her and Hailey. “Is she asleep?”

  “I think so.”

  “Want me to put her down?”

  “That’d be great. Thanks.”

  Watching his big hands scoop up the tiny bundle with infinite gentleness nearly brought tears to Maddie’s eyes. She loved him more than life and hated that he was hurting and wouldn’t—or couldn’t—share his burden with her.

  He took the baby upstairs for her nap.

  Maddie thought about waiting for him to come back down but decided instead to follow him. She fastened the nursing bra and straightened her top before going upstairs, running her fingers through her disorderly curls on the way up. Neither of them had been sleeping well in the last week, and the fatigue was wearing on her. She could only imagine how he felt.

  Mac emerged from Hailey’s room and seemed surprised to find her waiting for him. “Where’s Thomas?” he asked of their son.

  “Spending the afternoon with Tiffany and Ashleigh.”

  “That’ll be fun for him.”

  “Uh-huh.” Maddie reached for his hand and led him to their room.

  Though he came willingly, she sensed a hint of hesitation. “Where’re we going?”

  “In here.” Without releasing his hand, she stretched out on the bed and compelled him to join her.

  He lay down next to her. Though he was close, he seemed a million miles from her, which made her ache with longing. The unusual distance between them was unsettling.

  She reached for his hand. “What brought you home in the middle of the day?” she asked after a long moment of silence.

  He turned his head to look at her. “I wanted to see you and Hailey.”

  “We’re glad you came. Everything all right at the marina?”

  Nodding, he said, “Adam’s home.”

  “Oh, really? Did you know he was coming?”

  “No.”

  “You must’ve been glad to see him.”

  “Yeah.”

  The Mac she knew and loved was always thrilled to see his siblings, so his lackluster reaction to Adam’s unexpected visit was yet another reason for worry. “How long is he home?”

  “He didn’t say. He’s having lunch with Dad. Maybe he told him.”

  “You didn’t want to have lunch with them?” That, too, was unusual.

  “I told you. I wanted to have lunch with you.”

  “Are you hungry?”

  “Not particularly.” His appetite, like his sleep, had been off. That they hadn’t made love since the accident was further evidence that something was amiss.

  “Mac…”

  “Hmm?”

  “I wish you’d talk to me.”

  “I am talking to you.”

  “That’s not what I mean, and you know it.”

  He released her hand and sat up abruptly.

  “I’m sorry,” she said, regretting that she’d pushed him. “I don’t want you to go. Please. You don’t have to talk if you’re not ready to. But don’t go.”

  A muscle pulsed in his cheek as he seemed to weigh his options. Then he sagged a bit and lay down again.

  Maddie was relieved
that he’d stayed, but she tried not to show it.

  “I’m sorry,” he said. “I don’t mean to be so touchy.”

  “You don’t have to apologize. I want to help you. Will you let me?”

  “I don’t know what I need.”

  “Maybe if you talk about whatever is on your mind, you’d feel better.”

  He stared up at the ceiling. “I can’t talk about what it was like to not know where my brothers were for hours or how it felt to be almost certain they were dead. I can’t talk about that, because if I do…”

  Maddie blinked back tears, determined to be as strong for him as he always was for her. “What, Mac? Tell me.”

  “I’m afraid if I do… I might… I might break into a million pieces that can’t ever be put back together again the way they were before.”

  She placed her hand over his fast-beating heart. “I won’t let you break. I won’t let you. Hold on to me. Let me help.”

  He wrapped his arms around her and buried his face in her hair as a sob erupted from his chest.

  Maddie clung to him, rubbing his back and combing her fingers through his hair. “It’s okay, baby. I’ve got you. Let it out. Everything is okay. Your brothers are safe. Everyone is safe.”

  He was utterly silent in his despair, but his tears wet her face and neck.

  “It had to be awful for you. You’re the big brother, and you couldn’t help them. You had to be so scared and worried about me and the kids and your parents and Janey.”

  He didn’t speak, but his arms tightened around her.

  She turned her head so she could kiss his face. “Everything is okay now.” Maddie had no idea how long they stayed like that, wrapped up in each other, his body shaking with sobs he suffered through in silence to spare her. Even in his time of need, he always thought of her.

  “I’m sorry,” he said, breaking the long silence.

  “Don’t be sorry. Please don’t.”

  He drew back from her so he could see her.

  The sight of his face, ravaged and streaked with tears, broke her heart, but she didn’t let him see that. Rather, she brushed away his tears and traced the outline of his mouth. “I love you so much,” she said. “I had a very long day to think about what my life might be like without you, and I hope I never feel that way again. Ever.”