Valorous, a Tame Quantum Novel Read online

  Laughing through my tears, I marvel at the show of support from the parents of my students.

  After chocolate cupcakes and ice cream for dessert, the kids start to say their good-byes. I spend a few minutes with each of them, and I’m a weepy disaster by the time I say good-bye to Logan, Aileen and her daughter, Maddie.

  “Thank you so much for everything you did for us this year, Natalie,” Aileen says as she hugs me. “Despite what’s happened, I want you to know that you—and Flynn—have made such a difference for our family.”

  “That means the world. Thank you.”

  Aileen also hugs Flynn and thanks him profusely for the huge donation he made to the fund we set up at school for their family.

  “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he says with a smile and a wink. He’s denied making the half-million-dollar donation we all know came from him.

  “Sure you don’t. You’ll never know how much it means to me.” She glances at me. “Take good care of our girl. She means a lot to us.”

  He puts his arm around me. “It’ll be my pleasure to take good care of her.”

  Aileen fans her face dramatically and leaves us laughing as she escorts her kids from the room.

  Sue, the admin from the office, hugs me. “Hang in there, kiddo. If it makes you feel any better, the entire faculty and most of the staff are pissed with Mrs. Heffernan over this. We all think it’s ridiculous.”

  “Thank you for that and for being here. I appreciate it so much.”

  Sue whispers in my ear, “I thought you’d want to know that your sexy friend has paid for breakfast and lunch for every kid in the school for the remainder of the year.”

  I’m staggered by this information as Sue squeezes my arm and leaves me reeling.

  Leah is the last one to depart. “I fucking hate this,” she says with her usual bluntness.

  “Me, too.”

  “I’m going to miss you and Fluff so much.”

  “We’ll miss you, too. Maybe you can come see us in LA?”

  “I’d love to.” She pauses and clears her throat. “I want you to know… The way you’re handling this is so admirable. I’d be rolled up in the fetal position if any of this shit happened to me, but you… You’re amazing, Nat. We all think so, and I just wanted you to know that.”

  I hug her tightly. “You’ve been the best friend I’ve had in years. Thank you for my little slice of normal in our cozy apartment. I’ll never forget it.”

  “Me either. But you won’t get rid of me that easily. I’ll drive you crazy texting you every day.”

  “Please do.”

  I release her, and she hugs Flynn.

  “You’re the nicest movie star I’ve ever met, and if I didn’t love Nat so much, I’d be green with envy.”

  Laughing at her typical cheekiness, he says, “Thanks for everything today and for being such a good friend to Natalie. We’ll see you soon.”

  “I’ll look forward to it.” She steals one more hug from me before she leaves.

  Addie has taken Fluff out to pee, so Flynn and I are left alone in the room. I place my hands on his chest and look up at him. “Thank you so much for this. It’s the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for me.”

  “Least I could do.”

  “You’re not still blaming yourself, are you?” I ask with a teasing smile.

  The deep sigh that escapes from him as he hugs me says it all. “I wanted you to have closure with the kids if things don’t work out with the school.”

  “I’m so glad I got to see them and try to explain what’s happening. I’d hate for them to think I left because of them for some reason.”

  “You were great with them. They’ll never forget you.”

  “I hope not. And you… paying for breakfast and lunch for every kid in the school… Flynn, my God!”

  He shrugs. “You know how I feel about hungry kids,” he says gruffly.

  I hug him. “You’re amazing. Truly. I love you so much for doing that.”

  Wrapped up in his arms with his forehead resting on my shoulder, I feel the tension beating through him. He’s like a live wire that’s been set loose in a tight space. I worry what will happen when his rage boils over. But not for one second am I afraid for myself. Mostly I’m afraid for him.

  Addie returns with Fluff. “Are you guys ready to go?”

  Flynn glances at me.

  I take a look around the room that was recently filled with people who mean the world to me. And then I take the hand of the man who has come to mean everything to me. “Yeah, let’s go.” Other than a few close friends with whom I’ll stay in touch, there’s nothing here for me anymore.

  Seeing Natalie with her kids has toughened my resolve to fix this for her somehow, some way. I’m not used to being told there’s nothing I can do. There’s always something that can be done, and I’m going to fight the injustice that’s been perpetrated upon Natalie with everything I’ve got. I’m sure I’ve driven my friend and attorney Emmett to drink today with at least twenty phone calls looking for updates that have been slow in coming.

  He’s been in touch with the Nebraska Bar Association about the scumbag lawyer, David Rogers. Emmett also has a private investigator looking into Rogers, and so far they’ve discovered that the lawyer was up to his eyeballs in debt until a large deposit recently landed in his account.

  He probably saw Natalie with me at the Golden Globes and thought he’d found a way out of his financial crisis. Well, he fucked with the wrong movie star if he thinks he’s going to get away with ruining her life to enrich his own. I’m going to destroy him.

  Natalie’s yelp of pain makes me realize I’m squeezing her hand a little too tightly.

  Cuddled into a ball in Natalie’s lap, Fluff raises her head and shows me her ten teeth.

  “Sorry, sweetheart.”

  Natalie leans her head against my shoulder as we’re driven to the airport by one of the security guys. Addie is riding in another car to give us some privacy. “You’re rigid with tension.”

  Because driving is one of the few freedoms my fame affords me, I can’t stand being driven anywhere, but until we’re out of New York, I’m doing what’s necessary to ensure her safety. In light of her observation, I make an effort to relax even as my body hums with the kind of stress I’ve rarely experienced in my charmed life.

  “Flynn…”

  “What, honey?”

  “I can feel you about to boil over.”

  “I can’t help it. I feel like my skin is too tight for the rest of me or something.” I lack the words to properly convey what’s going on inside me. It seems, however, that the more wound up I get, the calmer she is. That said, I much prefer her serenity to the blank shock of the night before. I don’t ever want to see her like that again.

  “I hate that you’re blaming yourself.”

  “Can’t help it.”

  “Are you doing everything within your power to deal with it?”

  “You know it.”

  “Then let it go and let the people who work for you do their jobs. You’ve done everything you possibly can for me and then some.” She wraps her arms around my right arm. “Aileen gave me some really good advice tonight.”

  I squeeze her thigh. “What was that?”

  “To remember I have my health and a man who’s crazy about me. At least I think he is…”

  “You know he is.”

  “She said we should enjoy this little escape from reality while we can and try to focus on all the positives.”

  “She does make a good point.”

  “It’s hard for me to see you so upset.”

  “It’s hard for me to see your life upended because you got involved with me.”

  “That’s not why my life was upended. It happened because someone I trusted got greedy.”

  “Which wouldn’t have happened if I hadn’t dragged you into my life.”

  She surprises the shit out of me by moving Fluff to the seat next to her an
d removing her seat belt so she can crawl into my lap. Fluff is extremely put out by the disruption and growls to show her displeasure.

  I want to growl with pleasure as Natalie straddles my lap and forces me to look at her. “May I say something and will you listen to me? Really listen and believe me when I tell you that if someone had told me I was going to lose my job, my home and my anonymity but that the trade-off was going to be the love of the most extraordinary man, I would choose love over everything else. Do you know how long it’s been since anyone has loved me?”

  I wrap my arms around her and hug her as tightly as I can. “Christ, Nat.” I want to give her the stars, the moon, the entire universe—anything and everything I possibly can to make up for all the years she was so painfully alone.

  “What you did for me tonight, bringing my kids to me, knowing how badly I needed to see them… No one has ever done anything like that for me before. I know you want to fix everything for me, but even you can’t put the genie back in the bottle. My cover’s been blown, and I’m going to have to figure out how to live with that. But knowing you’re here with me, that I don’t have to go through this alone… That’s huge. This could’ve happened at any time. Someone could’ve put two and two together with the girl who brought down the governor of Nebraska. I can’t imagine what it would’ve been like to go through this alone, without you and Addie and your army of people out for vengeance on my behalf. You’re already making everything better by calling in your army and just by being here and holding me and loving me.”

  She brings me to my knees. She makes me want to be a better man so I’ll deserve every sweet inch of her and the trust she has placed in my hands. I hold her close to me, breathing in the addicting scent of her hair as it brushes against my face. For the first time since Addie sent the 911 message yesterday and I heard what was happening to Natalie, I take a deep breath and feel myself begin to relax ever so slightly.

  That Natalie doesn’t blame me for what’s happened to her makes me the luckiest bastard on earth. Rather than pushing me away as I feared she would, she’s turned to me and pulled me closer. “I love you so much, Nat. More than I ever thought I could love anyone.”

  “I love you, too. Every time I think I’ve seen the full extent of who you are, you go and top yourself by arranging a spaghetti dinner for my class and then paying for the whole school to eat for the rest of the year!”

  “Technically, Addie did the arranging and stuff.”

  “Whose idea was it?”

  “Mine. I guess.”

  “See? There you have it. My guy is the most thoughtful, wonderful man in the world.” She takes my face in her small hands and forces me to look at her as she kisses me. Hearing her call me her guy winds me up in knots that have nothing to do with stress and everything to do with desire. After the momentous step we took together the other night, I hadn’t expected to spend these last few days dealing with her worst nightmare come to life. I’d hoped to spend them wrapped up in her, making love to her over and over again.

  Nothing has gone according to plan since we got home from LA on Monday night.

  We arrive at Teterboro and are driven onto the tarmac where a Lear awaits us. I’ve requested a plane with a bed for this trip and not for obvious reasons. I want Natalie to get a good night’s sleep while we fly. If other stuff happens, too, well, so be it. Our security detail wishes us well and ushers us onto the plane where a flight attendant named Miranda greets us.

  I can tell she’s trying to be professional, but she wants to do that screaming thing women do when they meet me. Thankfully, she manages to contain the urge. Natalie, Addie and I buckle in for takeoff, and as soon as we’re airborne, I get up and hold out a hand to Nat.

  “We’re going to get some sleep,” I tell Addie. “Will you be okay out here?”

  “I’m great. I’ve got a ton of work to do, and then I’ll sack out on the sofa. See you in LA.”

  “Don’t work too hard.”

  She gives me a small smile that’s full of sympathy for what we’re going through. She’s been almost as upset as we are, and she’s out for blood on our behalf.

  I lead Natalie to the back of the cabin and into the bedroom.

  “Holy cow,” she says when she spies the full-size bed. “This is the life.”

  “I’m glad you think so, because it’s your life from now on.”

  “I’m still trying to wrap my head around that.”

  I drop a quick kiss on her lips. “Take all the time you need to get used to it. You want to use the bathroom first?”

  “Sure, thanks.” She takes her purse with her into the tiny bathroom that adjoins the bedroom.

  While she’s in there, I unbutton my shirt and remove it and the T-shirt under it. I remove my jeans and then pick them up off the floor so Natalie won’t trip over them. A few minutes later, she emerges from the bathroom wearing only a T-shirt. Her hair has been brushed and the minty scent of toothpaste follows her.

  I take my turn in the bathroom and make use of the toothbrush and toothpaste the airline provides. And then I take a minute to remind myself that I need to be gentle with her tonight and keep the rage that’s overtaken me out of our bed. It has no place there, especially in light of what’s happened to her in the past.

  When I feel calm enough to be what she needs, I leave the bathroom and crawl into bed beside her. “This is becoming my favorite place to be.”

  “In bed on an airplane?”

  “No, in bed with you.” I reach for her, and I’m greeted by a snarl and a bark that remind me we’re not completely alone. “Fluff, you and I need to come to an understanding.”

  The little brat shows me her pathetic fangs.

  “Maybe we’ll do that tomorrow.”

  Natalie giggles like a little girl, which goes a long way toward helping me relax. If she can laugh like that, maybe I can chill the fuck out until tomorrow, when I’ll rejoin the war already in progress. Natalie sits up to settle Fluff at the foot of the bed.

  The dog reacts by whimpering in protest. I can’t say I blame her for wanting to sleep cuddled up to Natalie.

  “Stay.” Natalie’s stern tone turns me on. Hell, everything about her turns me on.

  Satisfied that Fluff will stay put, she turns on her side so she’s facing me. “How you doing?”

  I caress her cheek and let her silky hair slide through my fingers. “I should be asking you that.”

  “I’m not the one who’s about to spontaneously combust from stress and rage and a host of other unpleasant emotions.”

  “How are you able to be so calm?”

  “I don’t know exactly.” She worries her bottom lip with her teeth, which is so freaking adorable. “I guess when you worry about the worst possible thing happening and then it does, you don’t have to worry about it anymore. Does that make any sense?”

  “It makes a ton of sense. It’s almost a relief that the worrying is gone.”

  “Yeah, exactly.”

  “I’m so sorry you lost your job and your kids. I don’t know if I’ll ever get over that happening because of me.”

  She gives me that stern look she normally reserves for Fluff. “It’s not your fault. I’m going to keep saying it until you believe it, too.”

  “That might take a while, sweetheart.”

  “Well, apparently we have nothing but time to spend together.”

  I have a million things I need to be doing with a new film heading into postproduction, decisions to be made on upcoming projects and meetings galore about the hunger foundation I’m starting. But nothing is more important than her and whatever she needs.

  I’ll put everything else on hold until this crisis has passed and I’m certain she’s really okay, not just acting the part for my sake.

  Her hand on my chest demands my full attention when she slides it down the front of me, coming to rest on my stomach.

  “What’re you up to?”

  “Just touching you. Is that okay?”

/>   “Fuck, yes, that’s okay.”

  Smiling, she goes up on her knees and bends over me, peppering my chest with kisses and little bites that make me hard as a fucking rock in about two seconds flat.

  “Nat… What’re you doing?”

  “Touching you.”

  “Fuck…”

  Then she laughs, and my heart literally contracts in my chest because the punch of love is that strong. I’m willing to put up with any torture she has in mind if it means she’ll laugh and smile. Then she closes her teeth around my nipple, and my mind goes blank. I grasp handfuls of her hair, trying to retain some control, but she won’t be controlled.

  Holy motherfucker…

  She kisses her way down the front of me and uses her tongue to outline the hills and valleys of my abs. I thank Christ for every second I’ve spent in the gym. It becomes worth it right here and now. Her chin brushes against my cock through my boxer briefs, and I nearly lose my shit. That’s all it takes to put me right on the edge.

  “Could I… Can I…”

  I groan loudly. “Nat.”

  She rests her face on my quivering stomach, her hair soft against my fevered skin. “I suck at this.”

  “Oh my God, you do not! You’re about to make me come just by thinking about what you want to do.”

  She turns so her chin is propped on her hand and she’s looking up at me. “I am? Really?”

  “Yes,” I say through gritted teeth.

  Her smile stretches across her face, making her eyes dance with joy. I’m swamped with love for her.

  “You’re quite pleased with yourself, aren’t you, sweetheart?” I ask with a grunt of laughter. She’s so fucking adorable.

  “You have to admit that making a guy like you tremble does come with a certain amount of thrill.”

  “A guy like me… What’s that supposed to mean?”

  “Strong,” she says, kissing between my pecs. “Sexy.” More kisses, some tongue action and fucking hell… teeth. “Commanding.” She nuzzles my happy trail, and my dick surges, wanting in on this right now. I don’t know what I need more—for her to touch me where I’m dying for her or to hear more words that describe me from her point of view.