I Want to Hold Your Hand Read online

  To his great credit, Skeeter didn’t say a word. He simply rose and took her hand and led her out of the bleachers to a side exit she never would’ve noticed had he not been leading the way. Once they were in the parking lot, he stopped, still holding her hand. “Where do you want to go?”

  “Could I please go back to the motel?”

  “You don’t want to wait for Nolan?”

  She shook her head. “Not here. I can’t be here.”

  “Whatever you need, honey. I’ll take you back myself. Let me just get my keys and tell the guys where I’m going.”

  “You don’t need to be here?”

  He smiled at her. “Nah, they only need me when the car gets smashed up, which hardly ever happens with Nolan at the wheel. He’s really good. That’s my truck. I’ll be right back.”

  Hannah had seen with her own eyes that Nolan was a really good driver, but the feeling of absolute certainty that had come over her watching him race had left her panic-stricken. Somehow, someway she’d managed to survive losing Caleb. If she knew anything for certain, she knew she’d never survive losing the man she loved again.

  While she waited for Skeeter, she put Homer down so he could pee and then picked him up to nuzzle his sweet face. He licked at the tears that flowed freely down her face when she realized the future she’d wanted with Nolan wasn’t to be if it meant living with this kind of fear on a regular basis. She’d already done that during Caleb’s deployments, and she’d discovered that was no way to live.

  Skeeter emerged from yet another door and jogged over to her, unlocking his truck and holding the door for her. “Sorry it isn’t cleaner. I wasn’t expecting guests.”

  “It’s fine,” Hannah said. “I appreciate the ride.”

  They drove the short distance to the motel in silence that was only broken by an occasional yip from Homer.

  As Skeeter pulled up to the door to the room she was sharing with Nolan, he put the truck into park. “It’s none of my business, Hannah, so tell me to stuff it if I’m totally out of line here, but that boy . . . He’s crazy about you, and if you asked him to give up the racing, he’d do it in a second if it meant he got to keep you.”

  “I’d never do that, Skeeter. He loves it. I’ve seen that in the way he talks about it. I could see that in the time I spent with you all last night and today at the track. It’s in his blood.”

  “So are you.”

  “I appreciate what you’re trying to do, but I can’t ask him to be anyone other than who he is. He’d hate me for that someday.”

  “I think you’re selling him short and vastly underestimating how far around the bend he is where you’re concerned.”

  “Thanks for the ride, Skeeter. I really appreciate it.”

  “You got your key?”

  Hannah nodded and reached for the door handle. Every step toward the room where they’d known such bliss the night before felt like a thousand-mile march. Once inside, she curled up on the bed with Homer, willing her heart to stop pounding so fast she felt like she might hyperventilate.

  No matter how slowly she tried to breathe or how hard she tried to think about something else, her brain was fixated on that moment of certainty that had come over her while she watched him race. Sobs shook her body at the thought of losing him, too, and she cried until there were no tears left.

  When she heard Nolan knocking frantically on the door she realized she’d fallen asleep. “Hannah! Open up. I don’t have my key.”

  Homer howled and yipped with outrage.

  “Shh. It’s okay.” She patted him and got up, smoothing her hair as she went to the door and pulled it open.

  “Oh God, Hannah.” He still wore the jumpsuit that had patches all over it and his hair was wild as if he’d pulled off the helmet and run for her. “You’ve been crying. I’m so sorry. Skeeter told me you were upset. I’m fine. Look. The car in front of me wrecked, but I’m totally fine.”

  Even though he was fine—this time—she felt dead inside from the certainty that someday he wouldn’t be. “I know. I can see that.”

  With his hands on her face, he forced her to look up at him. “What are you thinking? Please tell me. Whatever it is, we’ll get through it, but I can’t do a damned thing if you don’t talk to me.”

  A sob caught in her throat as tears fell from her eyes. As much as she didn’t want to, she couldn’t help but cry at the thought of losing this wonderful, beautiful man who’d managed to make her fall completely and totally in love with him.

  “Don’t cry, honey. I can’t bear it. I won’t race anymore if it upsets you this much.”

  Hannah shook her head. “No. Don’t say that. You love it.”

  Smiling, he shook his head with disbelief. “I don’t love it anywhere near as much as I love you.”

  “I can’t ask you to give up something that’s such a big part of your life.”

  “Hannah . . .” He closed the door that had remained open and took her into his arms. “The only thing I couldn’t live without is you. Don’t you know that by now? I was perfectly happy as one of the mechanics for the team, and I’ll be perfectly happy going back to that role if it means you never again look as wrecked as you do right now.”

  “I’m a mess. I know.”

  “Baby, you’re as gorgeous as ever, but it’s the wrecked look in your eyes that’s killing me.”

  “I had this feeling, this utter certainty that you were going to die out there. It was so real and so profound.”

  He encouraged her to sit on the bed and knelt in front of her, taking her hands and kissing each one of them. “I’m not going to die, Hannah. I’m going to live to be so old you’ll be wishing I was dead just so you can get rid of me.”

  “Never.”

  “I’m going to live that long just to prove you wrong, but I won’t race anymore.”

  “But what about the team? They’re counting on you—”

  He kissed her, keeping his lips pressed against hers until some of the starch left her spine. “Deke is my backup driver. With a little more practice, he’ll be every bit as good as I am.”

  “And you won’t hate me someday for forcing you to give up something you loved?”

  “You’re not forcing me to do anything. You’re just giving me a chance to prove there’s nothing I wouldn’t do if it means making you happy and giving you peace of mind.” He kissed away the tears on her cheeks before focusing again on her lips. “I understand where all this is coming from, honey. I get it, and I’m only sorry I didn’t anticipate how difficult it would be for you to see me doing something most people consider pretty dangerous.”

  “Most sane people.”

  That drew a laugh from him. “Stay there for one minute.” Still on his knees, he reached for his duffel bag and pulled it close enough to unzip a side compartment. He withdrew a small black box and turned to her.

  “What is that?”

  “Hold on a minute.”

  “I don’t want to hold on a minute. I want to know what it is.”

  Laughing, he leaned his head against her chest and then looked up at her, his heart in his eyes. “I can’t believe I’m actually going to take you on for life with your complete and utter inability to deal with surprises.” He opened the box and placed it on her knee. “Usually, the question comes first and the ring comes second, but in light of your issues, we’ll do it your way.”

  Hannah gasped at the sight of an exquisite diamond in a vintage setting. She looked at the ring and then at him and then at the ring again. “Where did this come from?”

  “It was my grandmother’s. I’ve had it for years waiting for the right woman to come along. For a long time now, I’ve known that the only right one who’d ever come along was you. I had no plans to propose to you in this tacky motel room, but I suppose this won’t be the last time things with you don’t go according to my plan. Hannah, will you marry me and have a family with me and grow so old with me that you’ll get sick of me?”

  Once a
gain she couldn’t seem to breathe as she looked down at him.

  “You promised me I could count on your answer.”

  “Yes,” she said, laughing through her tears. “Yes, I’ll marry you.” She combed her fingers into his hair and brought order to the strands that were in disarray from his helmet. “I never thought I’d have this again. I’d given up on so many things until you came along and showed me I still have my whole life ahead of me.” With her hands on his face, she brought her lips down on his.

  “Your love has made me feel like the luckiest guy in the history of the world.” He wrapped his arms around her and lifted her off the bed when he stood and came back down on top of her. “Wait! The ring.” Lifting himself off her long enough to retrieve the box that had fallen on the floor, he removed the ring and slid it onto her left hand. “There. Now, where were we?”

  “I was about to ask you how in the hell we get you out of this thing.” She tugged at the jumpsuit impatiently, which made him laugh loud enough to wake Homer, who came to with an indignant howling yip that sounded anything but fierce.

  Hannah and Nolan dissolved into laughter, and the overwhelming joy she felt at that moment obliterated the fear from earlier. She’d gotten her second chance, and she planned to enjoy every minute of it.

  EPILOGUE

  Engaged . . . again. Nolan promised to live long enough to drive me crazy as an old man. I look forward to that and everything else we’ll experience together. On this joyful day I’m also grateful to Caleb for setting me free to love again. I’ll always love him, too, and I’ll never forget the precious time we had together.

  —From the diary of Hannah Abbott Guthrie, age thirty-five

  Lincoln Abbott had just shut off his computer for the day and was getting up to leave when his father-in-law came hobbling into the office carrying a bottle of champagne and wearing a big smile.

  The bottle landed on Lincoln’s desk with a loud thunk. “Engaged, my friend! How do ya like them apples? One dead battery and a ring on our girl’s finger!”

  “Where’re your crutches?”

  “Oh to hell with them! I’m here to celebrate!”

  Ringo and George raised their heads from their beds in the corner to see what all the noise was about. Seeing Elmer, they got up to greet one of their favorite friends. As always, he had biscuits in his pockets for both of them.

  Amused by Elmer’s effusiveness, Lincoln smiled and shook his head. “I still can’t believe it myself. I take it the lovebirds have been to see you.”

  “Indeed they have, and we had one hell of a celebration.” Elmer took a seat in front of Lincoln’s desk. “I can’t tell you what it means to me to see my little girl smiling again from ear to ear. Never thought I’d live to see that.”

  “I know what you mean. Molly and I were talking about that last night. Were you surprised they got engaged so quickly?”

  “A little, but as they said, they want kids, and they’re not getting any younger. We both know what it’s like to find a perfect fit and not want to wait to get going on a life together.”

  “Yes, we do.” Lincoln had taken one look at Molly Stillman and had known almost immediately that she was going to change all his plans.

  Elmer leaned forward to pop the cork on the champagne and poured the fizzing bubbly into two coffee cups on Lincoln’s desk. “Hope they’re clean.”

  “Just rinsed them out this afternoon.”

  Elmer handed one of them to Lincoln. “Two for two,” he said, raising his mug.

  Lincoln clinked his mug against Elmer’s. “We’re on a roll.”

  “Who’s next?” Elmer asked as he sat back to enjoy the bubbly.

  “I’ve been thinking about that. We’ve got quite a list of possibilities to choose from. It’s come to my attention that our oh-so-serious and focused Hunter has his eye on Megan from the diner.”

  Elmer’s white brows knit with confusion. “Cranky Megan?”

  “The one and only.”

  “Hmm, not sure I approve of that match. I’ll have to take a closer look at her before I decide she’s worthy of our Hunter. What else have you got?”

  “Max and Chloe could use a little assistance in getting their act together before the baby is born.”

  “Let’s get him out of college before we go there.”

  “Good point. Then there’s Ella.”

  Elmer sat up a bit straighter in his chair. “What about her?”

  “Did you see the way she was gazing at Gavin Guthrie at Homer’s funeral? If that’s not a girl in a serious crush, then I don’t have ten kids.”

  “Well, well, well . . . That’s rather intriguing. Gavin’s a fine fellow. Every bit the man his brother was, and I’d love nothing more than to have another Guthrie in the family.”

  “I’m not sure he’s quite there yet though. The poor guy has been through hell, and that one will take some finesse. We might want to practice our technique a bit more before we move on to them.”

  “You make a good point. We’ve had some significant beginner’s luck with Will and Hannah, and we wouldn’t want to get too big for our britches or anything.”

  “God forbid.”

  Elmer took a sip of his champagne as he appeared to puzzle over their options. “Where does that leave us?”

  Lincoln sat back in his big leather chair and rested his feet on the desktop. “Colton.”

  Obviously intrigued, Elmer said, “Do tell.”

  “Remember the day Cameron and her friend Lucy pitched the website to us?”

  “That was the same day she and Will got back together and ran off into the sunset.”

  “Right. Molly and I invited Lucy to dinner, and Colton joined us. The two of them hit it right off, and he offered to see her back to the inn after dinner. Far be it from me to interfere with that kind of spark, so naturally we took him up on the offer. Since then, he’s shaved off the beard he’s had since high school, cut his hair and has dropped his dogs with us for several weekends away. He’s never said another word about Lucy since that night, but if you do the math—”

  “I can’t believe you’re just telling me this now! We’ve got work to do! Any friend of Cameron’s—”

  “—is a friend of ours.”

  “You said it! So what’s our plan?”

  Lincoln picked up a flyer from his desktop and handed it to Elmer.

  Elmer took the paper and scanned it, his face turning bright red as Lincoln fully expected. “What the hell is this?”

  “It’s a conference coming up in New York City.”

  “I can see that. I’m talking about the . . . the . . . things.”

  “They’re ‘pleasure aids’ for people of all ages.”

  “What in the name of tarnation sakes . . .”

  “Don’t knock it till you’ve tried it,” Lincoln said with a smug smile.

  “You’d better watch yourself, boy. It’s not too late for me to come fetch my daughter away from you.”

  Elmer’s flustered reaction got a laugh out of Lincoln. “I think it might actually be ten kids too late for that.”

  “I ain’t too late as long as I’m still drawing a breath.” He tossed the paper back on the desk. “What’s all that got to do with Colton?”

  “I’m going to ask him to attend the conference and help me decide if we should offer the product line in the store.”

  “You want to bring that . . . stuff . . . into my store?”

  “Don’t have an apoplexy over it. That stuff sells like gangbusters, and we’d be crazy not to at least look into it.”

  “I like the idea of sending Colton, but I’m not sold on the product line.”

  “I’ll consider that a half victory.”

  “You think you’re so smart, don’t you?”

  “Whose idea was it to hire Patrick’s daughter to build a website for the store? And look at how that worked out. Have you ever seen Will happier?”

  “It was my idea to mess with Hannah’s battery,” Elmer grum
bled.

  “We’re tied at one a piece. If this works out between Colton and Lucy, that counts in my column because she came through Cameron.”

  Elmer rolled his eyes at Lincoln’s logic. “What makes you think Colton will want to go to a pleasure aid conference in New York City? What’s that got to do with maple syrup?”

  “Not a damned thing. It won’t be about the conference, Elmer. If he snaps up the opportunity, we’ll have our confirmation that Lucy’s the one he’s been running off to see every chance he gets.”

  “You make a good point, even if I can’t picture those products in our store.”

  “Leave that part of it to me.”

  “Gladly.”

  “So we’ve got a plan?”

  Elmer raised his mug. “It’s a plan. Let’s go for three.”

  • • •

  Thanks for reading I Want to Hold Your Hand! Watch for book three, I Saw Her Standing There, Colton and Lucy’s story, in November 2014.

  I Saw Her Standing There is available now for preorder from all major retailers and at marieforce.com/books/the-green-mountain-series. Keep reading for chapter 1 of I Saw Her Standing There.

  Now that you’ve finished I Want to Hold Your Hand, join the Reader Group at facebook.com/groups/IWantToHoldYourHand to discuss Hannah and Nolan’s story. Remember that spoilers are allowed and encouraged in the individual book groups, so don’t join until you’ve read the book. Also join the Green Mountain Reader Group at facebook.com/groups/GreenMountainSeries for series news and other updates! No spoilers in the series group please. You can also join my mailing list at marieforce.com to be notified about new books, and feel free to contact me at [email protected].

  ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

  In preparing to write a book about a war widow, I connected with Cait Needham, who lost her husband, Master Sergeant Robb G. Needham, U.S. Army Reserves (Activated), on September 20, 2006 in Baghdad, Iraq. Cait introduced me to Dee Baily, who lost her husband, Army Spec. William L. Bailey, on May 26, 2007 in Iraq, and Army Lt. Col. Rebecca Eggers, who lost her husband, Army Captain Daniel W. Eggers, on May 29, 2004 in Afghanistan. Each of these brave women generously shared intimate details of their loss and the journey of rebuilding their lives. I’m so grateful to them and thankful for their service and the tremendous sacrifices they, their husbands and families made on behalf of our country. Rebecca was also a huge help with the details of Caleb’s army career and read the book to make sure I got it right. Thank you, Rebecca!