It's Only Love Read online

  “Ditto,” his dad said.

  “That’s a cop-out,” Amelia said, smiling at her husband.

  “How so? I’m thankful for all those same things.”

  “All right, fine. Be that way. What about you, Gav?”

  Gavin felt surprisingly emotional after hearing his mother’s heartfelt list, and her inclusion of Ella touched him deeply. “I’m thankful for all those things, too. Mostly for you guys. I’m glad we always have each other even if we don’t see each other every day. You know I’m right there for you, or at least I hope you do.”

  “Of course we do,” Amelia said, laying her hand over his. “You’ve been a wonderful son to us your entire life, but never more so than since we lost your brother.”

  Gavin forced a smile for his mom as he contended with the lump in his throat. For as long as he’d lived, he’d done so in the shadow of his much more accomplished older brother. He’d never minded the shadow and had missed it after it was gone, but the irony that Caleb had been the one to die young wasn’t lost on him. It should’ve been him. Caleb had had a wife he’d adored, an incredible career, so many talents and a future filled with promise.

  Whereas Gavin had none of those things. He would always wish it had been him instead of Caleb. It would’ve been easier for everyone if it had been him. But as he waited to see Ella again, for the first time in a long time, he was glad it hadn’t been him. He finally had something worthwhile to live for again, and he couldn’t wait to see her.

  They had finished dinner and were cleaning up when a knock on the mudroom door had him bolting across the kitchen. Gavin threw open the door, and there she was looking fresh-faced and beautiful and as happy to see him as he was to see her. He pulled her into his arms and held her tight against him, breathing her in and filled with relief to have her back where she belonged.

  Two weeks ago, he would’ve shied away from that thought, but now he couldn’t deny that she belonged to him, and he belonged to her. And he liked it that way.

  “There you are,” he said after a long moment of silence.

  “Here I am.”

  “Missed you.”

  “Missed you, too.”

  He drew back from her and gazed down at her lovely face before stealing a quick kiss. It took all he had to remember where he was and that he couldn’t lose himself in the kiss or her. Not now anyway. But the minute he could spirit her away from his parents’ house all bets were off.

  He helped her out of her coat and took her by the hand to lead her into the kitchen where his mother was preparing to serve up the one pie she’d made—apple because it was his favorite. She normally made a lot more food, but because they were leaving town for a week, she’d dialed it back this year.

  “Ella!” Amelia rushed over to hug and kiss her. “Happy Thanksgiving and congratulations on the new nephew.”

  “Thank you. He’s beautiful.”

  “I’m sure he is, and I love his name.”

  “I do, too.” She hugged and kissed his dad and gratefully accepted the pie his mother offered.

  Gavin fixed her a cup of coffee the way she liked it and brought it to the table, which now seemed less empty with that fourth seat filled by someone he loved. He couldn’t take his eyes off her. She looked so good, but then again she always did. From her shiny hair to the rosy glow of her cheeks to her gorgeous brown eyes and delicious pink lips, she was the most beautiful woman he’d ever known—inside and out.

  He couldn’t remember a time when he hadn’t been drawn to her. She was so kind and sweet and always thinking of others before herself. He’d recognized those qualities in her long before the time they’d recently spent together and had probably been in love with her for years, if he were being honest with himself.

  Every time he’d laid eyes on her, he’d wanted her. Never more so than right now when she chatted happily with his parents about their upcoming trip while enjoying her pie and coffee. She seemed to be in no particular rush to get out of there while he was on the verge of spontaneously combusting from the desire that coursed through him.

  Running her fork through a dollop of whipped cream, she brought it to her mouth, her eyes catching his across the table.

  He covered his moan with a cough that didn’t fool Ella. Standing so fast he nearly knocked over his chair, Gavin took his plate to the sink, rinsed it and put it in the dishwasher. “We’ve got to get going.”

  “So soon?” his mom said. “Ella just got here.”

  “Yes, Gavin,” Ella said. “I just got here.”

  The glare he sent her was met with a grin that told him she knew what he wanted and was enjoying making him wait. Well, two could play at that game. As soon as he had that thought, he had to squelch it or risk walking around with an embarrassing bulge in his pants.

  Rather than indulge in thoughts about his plans for later, he continued to load the dishwasher, making as much noise as he could to vent his frustration.

  “Go easy on my plates, Gavin,” his mother said sternly, making Ella laugh.

  It was nice to hear laughter in this house again, even if it was at his expense. He’d happily take the lumps to bring some light back into his life and that of his parents. Ella was all light and joy and peace. He was drawn to her like a magnet to steel, the pull impossible to deny or resist, not that he wanted to do either of those things. Not anymore.

  Right in that moment, standing at his mother’s kitchen sink, he became acutely aware of the fact that he needed to marry her to ensure she’d never be anywhere other than with him, where she belonged. If one night away from her had left him reeling, the thought of the whole rest of his life without her was like imagining a return to the barren wasteland of nothingness where he’d been stranded for far too long. After the taste of heaven he’d had with her, he had no desire whatsoever to return to that life.

  Filled with irrational fear of all the many ways he could still screw this up, he resolved to act sooner rather than later to make this relationship permanent. Once she had his ring on her finger, she wouldn’t be able to get away. She’d be stuck with him, for better or worse. And he’d be gloriously, blissfully stuck with her.

  He couldn’t wait for that.

  * * *

  Ella decided an hour with Amelia and Bob was enough to be polite, enough to make Gavin suffer a little and enough to get her nerves under control before the reveal of the big surprise. He’d had nothing to add to the conversation about his parents’ trip other than to wish them safe travels and a good time and to give Dylan his best.

  He’d never once said he wished he were going, too.

  But she refused to let that omission derail her. Of course he wouldn’t say that because he had himself convinced he couldn’t go. She was about to prove otherwise.

  “You ready?” he asked from his spot next to her on the sofa.

  “If you are.”

  He glared at her, letting her know how ready he was to leave—how ready he’d been for some time now.

  “It was so nice of you to cut short your holiday with your own family to spend some time with us,” Amelia said when she walked them to the door.

  “It was well worth it for that pie of yours,” Ella said. “I need your recipe.”

  “I’ll write it down for you. It’s Gavin’s favorite.”

  “Thanks for a fabulous day, Mom,” Gavin said, kissing her cheek. “Have a great trip and be safe.”

  “We’ll call you while we’re away.”

  “Don’t worry about me. Just have a good time.”

  “I will worry about you, and I will call you.”

  “Thanks for the warning,” he grumbled with a good-natured grin for his mother.

  “He’s all yours for the next week,” Amelia said when she hugged Ella.

  “I’ll keep a close eye on him.”

  “That sounds good to me,
” he said. With his hand on Ella’s back, Gavin led her out of the house. “Your place or mine?”

  “Mine.”

  She could tell he was surprised to hear her say that, because they’d been spending most nights at his place thanks to her nosy landlady.

  “It’s closer,” she said meaningfully.

  “Hurry.” He patted her ass and sent her along to her car, which was parked behind his truck.

  As Ella followed the speed limit to the letter, she could almost feel him boiling behind her. She’d felt him on slow simmer the whole time she’d been at his parents’ home, trying to be polite while she visited with Bob and Amelia when all he wanted to do was get her out of there.

  It was heady stuff to be wanted that way by the man she loved. But it was also fun to play with him a little, to make him wait, to build the tension.

  She pulled into her driveway with him right behind her. Before she could gather her purse and the backpack she’d taken to Burlington, he was upon her, opening her door and reaching for her seatbelt. “Gavin! Wait.”

  “I’ve already waited long enough.”

  “Five more minutes won’t kill you.”

  “It just might. Move it.” He “helped” her out of the car and propelled her along with the force of his own desire. Her feet barely touched the ground on the way inside or as they went up the stairs as one being, his arm around her waist moving her along. Once again, she felt swept away by him, overtaken in the best possible way. The potent excitement of being back in his arms was overshadowed only by the lingering fear of how her surprise would be received.

  Inside her apartment, he took the backpack from her and dropped it with a thud inside the door. Then he removed her coat, her sweater and was working on her jeans by the time she caught up to him.

  “Gavin, wait, I want to talk to you—”

  “After. We’ll talk after.” His coat, sweater, boots and jeans ended up in the same pile with her clothes. When they were both down to underwear, he took her hand and led her to her bedroom. “Come here, baby.” He drew her into his arms and breathed a heavy sigh. “Don’t go away anymore without me, okay?”

  “Okay,” she said, heartened by the comment. Perhaps her surprise would be a big hit after all.

  His hands were everywhere—on her back, her shoulders, her ribs, cupping her breasts and squeezing her ass—as if he were taking inventory to ensure she’d returned to him whole and intact. Kneeling before her, he helped her out of her panties and then removed her bra before standing.

  She helped with his boxers and drew him into bed with her.

  “I thought I was going to die watching you eat whipped cream at my mother’s,” he whispered against her neck. “I wanted to dive across the table and have you right there.”

  “You don’t think that would’ve shocked your parents?”

  “You’ll notice I managed to control myself. Just barely.”

  “No need to control yourself now.”

  His low growl was his only warning before he took her mouth in a series of savage kisses.

  Ella was breathless as she tried to keep up with him. She’d never seen him so undone by desire, and she loved it. Though she couldn’t wait to tell him about the trip, she would wait until after they’d slaked the ravenous need that she felt every bit as acutely as he did. She gave herself over to him, surrendering entirely.

  “God, Ella, you’re so sexy. I wanted you the second you walked in the door with your cheeks all flushed from the cold. How do you do that to me? How do you make me so crazy?”

  “You do the same to me. I thought about you all the way from Burlington when I was driving way faster than I should’ve been because I couldn’t wait to see you.”

  He stopped kissing her and raised his head so he could see her face. “Don’t do that again.”

  “Do what?”

  “Drive too fast when you’re on your way to me. Don’t take chances with your safety.”

  “I didn’t—”

  “Promise me you won’t do that again.”

  Because it seemed to matter so much to him, she said, “Okay, I won’t.”

  “Promise.”

  “I promise.”

  “Good,” he said, kissing her softly and with less urgency than he’d shown a few minutes ago. “If anything ever happened to you . . .”

  “Nothing is going to happen. I’m right here and I love you.”

  “I want to touch you everywhere and make you pay for making me suffer at my parents’ house, but more than anything I need to be inside you right now.”

  “Yes, Gavin . . . Please.” She raised her hips and offered herself to him. Everything she had to give was his. It always had been and always would be.

  He drove into her and dropped his head to her chest.

  While her body stretched and burned from his entry, Ella ran her fingers through the hair she loved so much and tried to relax, to accommodate him.

  “Nothing is like this,” he whispered. “Nothing.”

  She smoothed her hands over his back and down to grip his ass, holding him inside her until she felt ready for more. “Make love to me, Gavin.”

  “Gonna be fast.”

  “That’s okay. We’ve got all night.”

  Her words seemed to unleash something in him. He pounded into her repeatedly, taking them both on a wild ride that ended in one perfect moment of utter unity as they came together, groaning and clinging to each other as the tremors took them over.

  He sagged into her arms, his big body vibrating from the powerful release. “Love you, Ella. Love you so much.”

  “I love you, too.”

  “Thanks for not giving up on me.”

  “I’ll never give up on you.”

  CHAPTER 23

  No one ever told me that grief felt so like fear.

  —C. S. Lewis

  They stayed there like that for a long time, the room growing darker before he finally withdrew from her and moved onto his back, bringing her with him. She wanted to curl up to him, to wallow in the heat and comfort of him next to her, but it was time to tell him about the trip. Preparations had to be made by both of them to be ready to leave at six in the morning. She couldn’t wait any longer.

  Kissing his chest, she said, “Let me up for a minute.”

  “As long as you come right back.”

  “I’ll come right back.”

  He kissed her lips before letting her go. “Hurry up.”

  “Always in such a hurry.”

  “Only when you’re around.”

  Her heart pounding with excitement, she used the bathroom and then went to find the packet she’d printed at work the day before. “Here goes nothing,” she whispered as she returned to the bedroom. Before getting back into bed, she turned on the bedside lamp.

  Gavin winced from the sudden onset of light. He blinked her into focus. “What’ve you got there?”

  “Your surprise.”

  “Oh, I’d almost forgot about that.” He raised himself up on one elbow. “What is it?”

  “Before I tell you, I want you to know that I did this for you because I think you’ll enjoy it and I want you to be happy. I hope you’ll like it.”

  “I’m beyond curious.”

  Her mouth was suddenly dry as she handed over the packet of papers that included plane tickets, pictures from the resort and information about their reservation.

  He opened it, looked it over and then glanced at her, his jaw tight with tension. “What is this, El?”

  “It’s a trip to Dylan’s wedding, all paid for and arranged. We leave in the morning.”

  “You . . . You set this all up?”

  “I did,” she said, swallowing hard. “And don’t worry about work. Your dad talked to Clinton, and he’s more than happy to cover for you next week so y
ou can get away.”

  “My parents know about this, too?”

  She nodded. “So does Dylan. He was very excited about it and said to tell you how much it’ll mean to him to have you there for his wedding.” As she spoke, she couldn’t help but notice that he didn’t seem happy about the surprise. He seemed . . . less than pleased.

  “I can’t believe you did this.”

  “I thought it would be fun to get away from it all for a week, to go to your friend’s wedding—”

  “I can’t go, Ella. There’s no way I can go.”

  “What do you mean? I just told you, work is covered—”

  “It’s not covered.” He got up out of bed and pulled on his underwear and then rested his hands on his hips. “Clinton is great, but he’s never been left in charge before. I can’t just walk away from my responsibilities for a week because you think it would be fun.”

  “Gavin, let’s talk about it—”

  “I’m really sorry. It was nice of you to do this and to think of me this way, but I can’t do it.”

  “You’re closed down for the weekend. You could come for a few days. Surely your business wouldn’t fall apart if you missed a couple of days. I’m missing one of the biggest weeks of the year in the store, and it’ll be fine.”

  “Because you have people to cover for you. I don’t have that.”

  “Yes, you do!”

  “So two weeks together and suddenly you know my business better than I do? Wow. That’s one hell of an accomplishment.” He turned away from her and went into the other room.

  Frantic to salvage this disaster, Ella scrambled out of bed and pulled on a robe before following him into the living room, where he was getting dressed. She was shocked to see him getting ready to leave. “What’re you doing? Where’re you going?”

  “I’m going home. I’m sorry to disappoint you, but we both knew I would eventually, so it’s better that it happen sooner rather than later. You deserve someone who could receive an amazing gift like this with grace and appreciation. I’m not that guy.”