Here Comes the Sun (Butler, Vermont Series Book 3) Read online

  “I still wish you’d asked me for help a long time ago.”

  Running her fingers over the stem of the wineglass, she looked at him. “I used to cry all the way home every time I had to leave you.”

  “God, Mia…”

  Their salads were delivered, and the interruption made Wade realize he hadn’t paid an ounce of attention to Lucas or what he was up to. How could he with Mia sitting across from him, sharing her deepest thoughts? What did he care what Lucas was doing?

  “I started having panic attacks,” she said quietly. “I’d be in line at the bank or getting coffee, and it would come on me out of nowhere. Just sheer panic.”

  Hearing how she’d suffered made him ache for her and for himself—for all the time they could’ve been together. “It kills me to hear how hard it was for you.”

  She forced a smile for his sake. “It was worth it if it was leading me to you.”

  “You’ll never be afraid with me, Mia. Not ever. I promise.”

  “You’re sweet to say so, but that doesn’t mean I won’t still have the panic attacks.”

  He understood that she was letting him know that her scars ran deep. “Every day you spend with me will be one day further away from him.”

  “It might take me a while to stop anticipating disaster.”

  “I’m not going anywhere. Are you?”

  Smiling, she shook her head. “Definitely not.”

  It was the best first date he’d ever been on, which was no surprise to him. He felt like he’d waited forever for the chance to spend time with Mia, and it didn’t matter what they did. If he was with her, he was happy. It really was that simple for him. He loved being able to go home with her afterward, whispering in the dark with her, sleeping with her in his arms and waking up to her face on the pillow next to his.

  He’d left her sleeping when he got up to work out and get ready for work. Even his usually solitary morning routine felt less so with her sleeping in the next room.

  If he hadn’t had the meeting with Amanda, he might’ve taken the day off, but with her in town only for this week, he needed to take full advantage of her expertise while he could. He experienced a twinge of anxiety leaving Mia alone, but when they’d gotten home last night, he’d shown her where he kept the handgun in a safe on his closet shelf and how to use it.

  “I don’t think I could do it,” she’d said, eyeing the pistol with trepidation.

  “If it comes down to your life, you will do it. Do it for me. What would I ever do without you?”

  “Let’s hope it never comes to that.”

  Wade thought about the conversation on his way into work, unnerved by her reluctance to defend herself. He would talk to her about it again tonight and every night, until she was more comfortable with the idea.

  He arrived in the parking lot right after Ella and waited for her to get out of her car.

  “How’s it going?” she asked.

  “Very well. You?”

  “I’m fine. Just worried about you.”

  “Everything’s okay, El. We had a great night last night and talked about a lot of things. It’s an adjustment for both of us, but we’re figuring it out.”

  “We all have to do that in our own way.”

  “True.”

  “I certainly went through it with Gav when we first got together, and we’d known each other for years. We’re still figuring it out.”

  “It helps me to hear that.”

  “Can I tell you something, and will you promise to keep it between us?”

  “Of course.”

  Her dark eyes shone with joy when she said, “I’m pregnant.”

  “Oh, El, that’s amazing news. I’m so happy for you guys.” He hugged her. “I know how much you want to be a mom.”

  “I’m so happy, Wade. I worry all the time that nothing this good can possibly last.”

  “Sure, it can. Gavin is crazy about you, and he must be thrilled about the baby.”

  “He is. I can’t wait until we can tell people—especially his parents. They’ll be so excited.”

  “Everyone will be. This is such great news.”

  “We’re going to get married in the next few weeks. Just something small for the family.”

  “Nothing’s small with our family.”

  “That’s also true.” She placed a hand over her heart. “Sometimes I still can’t believe it’s real, you know? I wanted him for so long, and now…”

  “Now you get forever with him.”

  Her eyes sparkled with tears. “He’s the only thing I’ve ever really, truly wanted.”

  “I know how you feel. That’s how it is for me with Mia.”

  “How did you end up married before me?” she asked with a playful scowl.

  “Damned if I know. All I care about is that it’s done and she’s mine and no one can ever take her away from me.”

  “I’m glad you got what you wanted.”

  “I’m glad you did, too.”

  She glanced up the stairs that led to the office. “And now we get to go learn about how to orient our lovely sales team to sell sex toys in our country store. This is our life.”

  Wade laughed. “Let’s get it over with. We both have better things to do than worry about work.”

  “Indeed, we do.”

  They trudged up the stairs, said good morning to Emma and went to their respective offices.

  Amanda was already at work on her laptop in his office. “Morning,” she said.

  “Morning. You’re off to an early start.”

  “Got a lot to do today.”

  “How was your dinner?”

  “Very nice. Your brother is a sweet guy.”

  “Hmm. Okay. If you say so.”

  “He’s very charming.”

  “We’re talking about Lucas Abbott, right?”

  “Yes,” she said, laughing.

  “Listen, you seem like a nice person. He’s my brother, and I love him. I really do. But he’s a world-class player when it comes to women.”

  “He told me that.”

  Wade stared at her, shocked. “He did?”

  “Uh-huh. He said he’s thinking it might be time to change his ways when it comes to women.”

  “Lucas Abbott said that?”

  She laughed. “He sure did.”

  “Wow. I need a moment to process this.”

  “Your family should be a reality TV show. You’d be superstars. You’re all so funny.”

  “I’m not being funny. I’m genuinely shocked by this information. Next, you’re going to tell me Landon has decided to grow up, too.”

  “I don’t know about that. I only know what Lucas told me about himself.”

  Hunter came to the door. “Wade, do you have a minute?”

  “Sure.” To Amanda, he said, “Be right back.”

  “I’ll be here.”

  Wade grabbed his travel mug of coffee and took it with him to Hunter’s office. “What’s up?”

  “Shut the door, will you?”

  A twinge of anxiety hit him in the gut. What now? He shut the door.

  “I’m not sure how to tell you this…”

  “Whatever it is, Hunter, just say it.”

  “Mia gave me a fake Social Security number.”

  At first, the words didn’t register. When they did, once again he felt like a trapdoor had opened under him, sending him hurtling through space. What did this mean? “How… How do you know?”

  “Because I checked it.”

  “Why did you do that?”

  “I do it for every new employee, regardless of who they are.”

  Regardless of who they are… “So, you ran Cameron’s when she joined the company?”

  “Yes.”

  Wade knew he was focusing on the wrong thing and being unfair to Hunter, but he couldn’t seem to wrap his head around the fact that Mia had given them a fake number.

  “I asked her to come back in before you left yesterday to confirm the number, an
d she gave me the same one the second time. It’s registered to a woman who died in 1972. It’s never been assigned to her.”

  “I… I have no idea what to do about this.”

  “I thought you might want to be the one to ask her what’s going on.”

  “Yeah. Okay. Thanks.” Wade pushed himself off the door and opened it before turning back to his brother. “Who else knows about this?”

  “You and me. And Megan. I told her I didn’t know what to do.”

  Wade nodded and left the room. He went to his office, put the coffee mug on his desk and grabbed his coat.

  “Do you want to go over the plan for the meeting today?” Amanda asked him.

  “Can’t.”

  “Wade? Are you okay?”

  He didn’t reply to her or Emma when she asked if he was leaving. He went down the stairs and out the door, the cold air hitting him like a smack to the face. His truck was still warm from the recent ride to town. He directed it toward home, wondering what he was going to hear and how it might change everything.

  Chapter 23

  “When people are living from passion, they tend to be fulfilled, happy, healthy,

  and love everyone around them.”—Lewis Howes

  Mia woke from a deep sleep and stretched muscles that ached in the best possible way. Thinking of Wade and their first official date brought a smile to her face. She didn’t normally put out on the first date, but she’d made an exception for her husband. He’d laughed when she told him that.

  They laughed a lot together, which was just another thing she loved about being with him. She’d slept better in his arms the last few nights than she had in years and was finally losing the edge of restless exhaustion that had plagued her over the last difficult years.

  Hunter had said he’d let her know when they found a job for her within the company, so she had the day free to finish unpacking and getting settled into Wade’s cozy home. Last night, he’d told her about a farm he wanted to buy and how it was run-down and needed some TLC to get it back to habitable. The thought of restoring an old farmhouse with him, of filling it with little Abbotts and watching them grow up was better than any fantasy she could’ve dreamed for her life.

  He was better. The reality was better than the dream.

  She took a hot shower and washed her hair. Then she put on Wade’s robe, which she preferred to her own because it smelled like him, tied it at her waist and went to the kitchen to brew coffee. She was enjoying her first cup when he came in the door, startling her because she hadn’t expected him.

  “Hey,” she said, smiling. “This is a nice surprise. Did you forget something?”

  He stood inside the door staring at her, his face devoid of expression.

  “Wade? What’s wrong?”

  “Why did you give Hunter a fake Social Security number?”

  Shock ricocheted through her. “What? I didn’t do that.”

  “Yes, you did. He ran the number, and it’s not assigned to you.”

  “It’s the only one I’ve ever had.”

  “It’s a fake.”

  “That’s not possible. I’ve had other jobs with it. How can it be a fake?”

  “I was hoping you could tell me that.”

  Her stomach turned at the cold tone to his voice. She’d never heard that tone from him before, and it frightened her. Right when she felt happy and settled into a new life, the rug was pulled out from under her again. “I’d have to ask my mother where it came from. I’ve had it all my life.”

  “Call her.”

  “It’s really early in New Mexico.”

  He had no reply to that, but it became clear that nothing between them was going to be right again until she could explain how she’d ended up with a fake Social Security number. She picked up the phone and called her mother, waking her well before dawn New Mexico time.

  “Mom, it’s Mia. Wake up.”

  “Mmm, I’m awake. What’s wrong?”

  “I need to ask you something, and I need you to tell me the truth.”

  “Okay…”

  “Why do I have a fake Social Security number?”

  Dead silence.

  “Mom!”

  “Mia…”

  “What? Just tell me, will you?”

  “I don’t know how to tell you this. I’ve dreaded this day for years…”

  Her blood went cold inside her veins. “What are you talking about?”

  “Hold on a minute.”

  Mia’s heart raced as she listened to rustling sounds on the other end of the line.

  “Okay, I can talk now. Jerry is still asleep.” A deep sigh echoed through the line. “I never wanted you to know this. When you were still a baby, your father and I went through a horrible divorce.”

  “You told me you were never married to him!”

  “I know, and I’m so sorry I lied to you. He was going to take you away from me, Mia. His family… They had money and lawyers. I had nothing but you. So I took you, and I ran away.”

  Mia’s legs went liquid under her, and she slid to the floor, leaning back against the cabinets. “You took me from him?” she asked in a whisper.

  “I was so afraid, Mia. He was going to win, and I’d never see you again. I didn’t know what else to do. I had a friend. He helped me with new identities for both of us. He swore the numbers were legit.”

  “Oh my God. Mom… You told me you didn’t know for sure who my father was, and all this time, I’ve been living a gigantic lie?” She wiped tears that slid down her cheeks. “My whole life, I wondered about him, and you knew exactly where he was.”

  “Mia, please try to understand.”

  “No! I don’t understand. I’ll never understand this!”

  Wade came into the kitchen and sat next to her, reaching for her hand.

  Mia pulled it back. She couldn’t bear to be touched, even by him. “Who is he? Who is my father? And don’t you dare lie to me!”

  “His name is Cabot Lodge. The last I knew, he lived in Boston.”

  “I’m from Boston?”

  “Yes. You were born there on January twenty-ninth.”

  Her birth certificate said she was born on February third in Burlington, Vermont. “Is my name really Mia?”

  “Yes, that was the one thing I didn’t change. But your real name was Mia Elizabeth Lodge. Mia, honey, everything I did was out of love for you.”

  “No, Mom, this isn’t about love.”

  Her mother’s sobs echoed through the phone. “It was about love and fear. I was very young, and his family was prominent and well connected. I’m so sorry you had to find out this way.”

  “I found out when my new husband’s brother checked my Social Security number and discovered it was a fake. Now my new family has yet another reason to wonder about the woman their son and brother has shackled himself to. Thanks for that, Mom.”

  “You got married? Not to Brody. Please tell me…”

  “No, not to Brody.” Mia wiped away tears. “To a kind and decent man who has done everything for me, and this is how I thank him. By passing a fake Social Security number to his brother.”

  “I’m so sorry, honey. All I can do is tell you I did what I thought was best at the time.”

  “You could’ve told me this years ago when I turned eighteen. Why didn’t you?”

  “I was afraid you’d never speak to me again. Tell me that’s not going to happen now… Please tell me, Mia.”

  “I don’t know. I don’t know anything right now. I have to go.”

  “Mia, please…”

  “I can’t, Mom. Not now.” Shell-shocked by everything she’d learned, she clicked the button on the phone to end the call.

  “What can I do?” Wade asked.

  “I’ll understand if you want out of this. I would if I were you.” She wiped more tears that continued to flow despite her efforts to stop them. “My whole life is a lie. I’m surrounded by criminals. What decent guy needs this crap in his life?”

&nb
sp; He reached out to her, but for the first time since she’d known him, she didn’t want him to touch her. The information her mother had given her made her feel dirty and unworthy of him.

  “I need you in my life,” he said.

  His sweet words brought more tears to her eyes. “No one needs this insanity. I wouldn’t blame you if you said it was too much.”

  “I want to call Grayson and get him over here to advise you on how to proceed. Would that be okay?”

  Since she didn’t know what else do, she nodded. Her father was out there. His name was Cabot Lodge. Cabot Lodge. Her real name was Mia Lodge. How might her life have turned out differently if she’d known about him? Had he tried to find her? Would he be happy to hear from her?

  Wade took the phone from her and called Grayson, asking him to come over right away. “He’ll be here in twenty minutes.”

  “I, um, I should get dressed.”

  Wade got up and helped her off the floor. “Come here,” he said, wrapping his arms around her.

  She let him hug her because he seemed to need it, but she didn’t return the embrace. How could he love someone who didn’t even know who she was? What did Hunter think of her giving him a fake Social Security number, and how had it never been discovered before now? She felt like total shit.

  Wade released her, and she went into the bedroom to get dressed, moving through the motions like a robot. Underwear, jeans, sweater. She ran a brush through her hair and made the mistake of looking in the mirror. She looked as bad as she felt.

  Standing in the bathroom, she tried to recall every vague answer her mother had ever given her when Mia asked about her father, which she had done frequently until she realized her mother was never going to tell her anything other than she wasn’t sure who he was. When she was seventeen and asked her mother how that was possible, she’d said, “Someday, you’ll understand.”

  Well, she didn’t understand. She didn’t understand any of this.

  She heard the house phone ring and Wade talking to someone.

  “No,” he said. “I won’t be back today. Go ahead without me.”

  He was missing work because of her. How long would it be before he started to hate her for the drama she’d brought into his life?

  The phone rang again, and Wade came to the bathroom door. “Your mom is on the phone.”