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  “What do you think of your first look at the Pacific?”

  “It’s beautiful.”

  “I grew up on these beaches, surfing and partying and generally loving life.”

  “Can you believe I’ve never stepped foot on a beach?”

  “Seriously?”

  “Believe it or not, there aren’t a lot of beaches in Nebraska.”

  “Well, we have to fix that. Immediately.” Reaching for his cell, he makes a call. “Are you decent?” he asks. “I’m going to stop by, and I’m bringing a friend who’s never been to the beach before.” After a pause, he says, “I know, right? I told her we have to fix that immediately. See you in a few, Mo.”

  I’m practically bouncing in my seat with excitement at the thought of going to the beach. A short time later, we pull into a driveway, and Flynn punches in a code to open the gates.

  “Whose house is this?”

  “Marlowe Sloane,” he says casually, as if he’s not speaking of one of the biggest female movie stars in the world.

  “The Marlowe Sloane?”

  “The one and only. She’s one of my best friends.” He shuts off the car in front of a dark wood bungalow that’s much smaller than what I’d expect for a star of Marlowe’s caliber. But then again, what do I know about movie stars and where they live? “Come on. Let’s go check out Marlowe’s slice of paradise.”

  With a quick knock, Flynn walks right into Marlowe’s house. I follow, feeling hesitant and concerned that we might be bothering her. He, apparently, has no such worries.

  “Mo! Where are ya?”

  “Back here! Come on in.”

  The single-story house is much bigger than it seemed from the driveway and the view of the beach and ocean is nothing short of breathtaking. We find Marlowe on the back deck, stretched out on a lounge chair enjoying a cup of coffee. She’s wearing aviator sunglasses and a barely there black bikini. Her gorgeous red hair is contained in a messy bun on top of her head.

  She jumps up to greet Flynn with an enthusiastic hug. “This is a nice surprise.”

  “Mo, this is Natalie. Natalie, Marlowe, but we call her Mo.”

  She raises her sunglasses to the top of her head, exposing warm green eyes. The toothy smile that helped to make her a star is on full display as she hugs me, too. “So great to meet you. We’ve all been buzzing about Flynn’s new girlfriend, and I was looking forward to meeting you this weekend.”

  “Thank you.” I’m so starstruck, I can barely get the words out or process the fact that Marlowe Sloane considers me Flynn Godfrey’s girlfriend. “I’m a huge fan.”

  “Aww, that’s so nice to hear. Come in, have a seat, make yourselves at home.”

  “Your place is incredible,” I say, immediately feeling foolish for stating the obvious. Like she doesn’t already know that.

  “Isn’t it? It’s my favorite spot on the planet. Any day I get to spend on this deck is my idea of heaven.”

  “You sure we’re not disturbing you?” Flynn asks as he proceeds to make himself right at home as directed. He produces bottles of water from an outdoor fridge and hands one to me. We sit together on the lounge next to Marlowe’s. I wish I could text Leah and tell her I’m at Marlowe Sloane’s house in Malibu. She’d totally flip out. Maybe I can take some pictures for her before we leave.

  “You’re not disturbing me at all. I’m glad you came by.” With the sunglasses back in place over her eyes, she returns to her lounge. “How are you feeling about tomorrow night?”

  “Surprisingly nervous,” Flynn confesses. For my benefit, he adds, “I’ve been nominated five other times, but I’ve never won.”

  “He’s the front-runner this time, and rightfully so,” Marlowe says. “If he doesn’t win—”

  Flynn holds up his hand to stop her. “Don’t jinx me.”

  “Knock on wood to your heart’s content, but I’m predicting a sweep for you this year—Globe, SAG, Oscar.”

  “For fuck’s sake, Marlowe,” he grumbles.

  She unleashes a lusty laugh that makes me smile. It’s that contagious. She makes a big show of knocking on the teakwood arm of her lounge chair. “Better?”

  “Much.”

  I’m surprised and delighted to discover Flynn’s superstitious side. I wouldn’t have suspected it of him. He always seems so confident and in control.

  “So, Natalie, tell me everything about you,” Marlowe says. “I understand you’re a teacher?”

  “Yes, third grade in New York City.”

  “Good God, woman. How do you stand being with little kids all day?”

  I laugh at her bluntness. “I got really lucky with a great group this year. I love them. I’m having a great time. I hear I can’t count on that every year, so I’m enjoying it while it lasts.”

  “We should all be thankful for teachers like Natalie,” Flynn says, directing a warm smile my way. “They’re making sure the next generation doesn’t grow up to be ignorant idiots.”

  “That’s certainly one way to put it,” I say, making them both laugh.

  “Is it really true that you’ve never been to the beach?” Marlowe asks.

  “Yep. As I said to Flynn, there aren’t many beaches in Nebraska where I grew up.”

  “Well, let’s get you down to the beach!” She jumps up again and goes to a cabinet where she pulls out towels for each of us. “Do you want to borrow a suit so you can swim? I have tons of them, and you’re welcome to them.”

  “That’s so nice of you, but I’ll be happy to put my feet in the water.”

  “Good enough. Let’s go.”

  She opens a gate on the deck that leads to stairs that go right down to the beach.

  I’m giddy with excitement that I try to hide from them, lest they think I’m a silly nitwit. But when Flynn smiles at me, I realize I’m not hiding my giddiness from him. He sees right through me.

  For the first time all day, he takes hold of my hand as we walk onto the warm sand and kick off our shoes.

  “You can leave them there,” Marlowe tells me. “No one will touch them.”

  I’m immediately in love with the feel of the sand between my toes, the scent of fresh air and other smells I’ve never experienced before. Overhead, seagulls dot the cloudless sky.

  “You got a perfect day to see LA,” Marlowe says. “January weather can be anything from sixty to eighty. You got the better end of it.”

  “It’s beautiful and such a nice relief from the freezing cold in New York.”

  “I was there last week and froze my ass off. I don’t know how people can stand a full winter there.”

  “You’re going to think I’m a total weirdo, but I love the winter in New York.”

  “You’re right—you are a weirdo.”

  I laugh as I fall a little bit in love with this incredibly successful woman who is so down-to-earth I feel like I’ve known her far longer than half an hour. She’s put me immediately at ease, and I appreciate that more than she’ll ever know.

  We walk to the water’s edge, where I splash gleefully in the frigid water. It’s so cold, my feet quickly go numb. But I couldn’t care less about that as I gaze out at the massiveness of the Pacific. Light, rolling waves deliver the surf gently to the beach, another sight that leaves me mesmerized.

  Flynn comes up behind me, resting his hands on my shoulders. “What do you think?”

  “I’m in love—with the beach and with Marlowe.” I look back at him. “Thank you for this.”

  “My pleasure.”

  “This has been an incredible week, Flynn. Thank you for all of it.”

  “It’s been just as incredible for me. I should be thanking you.” He wraps his arms around me from behind, and I lean back against him, enjoying the sun and the water and the rare feeling of serenity that has been so elusive in my life.

  Chapter 17

  Who am I kidding thinking I can end this thing with Natalie after the weekend? Every second I spend with her has me wanting a lifetime of her sweetness
and infectious joy. Watching her dance in the ocean for the first time packed an emotional wallop for me, knowing I had done that for her. I had given her a wonderful new experience.

  Now, holding her in my arms as we look out on the endless blue ocean, the thought of not being with her anymore makes me feel sick and sweaty. The fear reminds me of the aftermath of the knife attack in London last year, as if something has changed that can never be undone.

  I’m tormented by the raging internal debate about what’s best for her versus what I want more with every breath I take. I want her—desperately and fiercely. Talking to her about my hunger foundation and hearing her thoughts fed my soul, which has been hungry for a woman who feels the same compassion I do for people in need. I’ve had too many vapid, gold-digging, career-climbing women pass through my life not to recognize a true gem when I find one.

  And Natalie is the most flawless of gems.

  She tuned right into my disquiet this morning, calling me out on the fact that something is different. She pays attention to me—the real me—in a way that no one else before her ever has, even the woman I married.

  When Natalie has had her fill of the freezing cold Pacific, we walk up to join Marlowe on the towels she’s spread on the sand. The warm sunshine beats down on us, but the cool breeze coming off the water makes for a comfortable temperature.

  I enjoy watching the two women talk to each other like old friends rather than new acquaintances. I love that Marlowe is so warm and unaffected by her massive fame. We appreciate that in each other, and though we were together a long time ago for a brief time, we quickly discovered we’re much better friends than lovers.

  I wonder if Natalie would be annoyed to learn that Marlowe and I were once more than friends. No one really knows that. It happened early in our careers, long before we were stalked by reporters. We went to great lengths to keep our relationship private, but a few people found out about it anyway. The paparazzi speculate endlessly about what really goes on between us.

  “What’re you thinking about over there, Flynn?” Marlowe asks me.

  “I’m just enjoying the beach, but we should head back soon. We’re taking my parents to dinner for their anniversary tonight.” It occurs to me that I should’ve invited Marlowe, who loves my folks and doesn’t have much in the way of family of her own. “You want to come?”

  “I don’t want to crash a family party.”

  “You are family, Mo. Please come if you’d like to. I should’ve thought of it before now.”

  “Sure, I’d love to help my adopted parents celebrate another year of wedded bliss. Thanks for the invite.”

  “I’ll ask Addie to add to the reservation.” I pull out my phone and dash off a quick text. Addie writes right back. Will do! “All set.”

  “I’m so jealous of his Addie, I could eat my heart out,” Marlowe says to Natalie. “Did he tell you I basically gave her to him?”

  “No, but she did,” Natalie replies.

  “You need to get an Addie of your own,” I tell her. We’ve been having this argument for years.

  “I know, I know. One of these days.”

  We shake out the towels and walk back to the house. Natalie asks to use the bathroom, and Marlowe tells her where it is.

  “Be right back,” Natalie says as she leaves the room.

  The moment we’re alone, I look to my longtime friend for a reading on what she thinks of Natalie.

  “Stunning and delightful,” Mo says quietly.

  A knot in my chest seems to unfurl at her approval, that she sees what I do in Natalie.

  “She’s young but surprisingly mature,” Marlowe adds.

  “She’s been through a lot. I’m not so sure I’m good for her.”

  “Yet you’re in love.”

  I shrug. “I think I have been since the second I first saw her a week ago today.”

  Mo squeezes my arm. “Nothing has to be decided right now. It’s only been a week.”

  “I know.” I agree with her despite my misgivings. The more time I spend with Natalie, the deeper my feelings for her become—and I suspect she would say the same about me. Though we’ve known each other only a week, a lot has happened in that time. I’m old enough and experienced enough to know this is different. “I already feel more for her than I ever did for Val.”

  Marlowe’s mouth falls open, but before she can respond, Natalie returns.

  I’m well aware that I’ve dropped a bomb on my friend, but all my attention is on Natalie. “Ready?”

  “Whenever you are.”

  I kiss Mo’s cheek. “Thanks for having us.”

  “My pleasure. And it was great to meet you, Natalie.”

  “The thrill was all mine,” she says with that adorable smile I’ve grown to love.

  Marlowe laughs and hugs her. “See you guys at dinner.”

  When we’re back in the car and on the way to my house, Natalie says, “So did you two talk about me while I was in the bathroom?”

  “Only a little. She really likes you.”

  “She’s so cool. I was trying so hard not to act like a total dork around her.”

  “I never would’ve known you were dorking out inside. You were very composed.”

  “It was all an act.”

  “You might be in the wrong business with those skills.” I can think of a million places I’d like to take her for a late lunch, but the potential hassle has me going home instead. We make sandwiches that we take out to the pool and pass a relaxing afternoon enjoying the sun and each other.

  My middle-of-the-night decision to end things with her seems ridiculous now. I’d much rather live without the things I dreamed about than without her. She’s become as essential to me as the air I breathe. “Make room. I’m coming over.”

  I scoot over to allow Flynn to join me on my lounge. Whatever was troubling him earlier seems to have passed. That he wants to be close to me fills me with relief and the jolt of excitement I’ve come to expect when he’s near. He’s very smooth as he arranges things so I’m lying in his arms, our legs intertwined and his lips a heartbeat away from mine.

  “Hi,” he says with the sexy smile that makes me weak.

  “How’s it going?”

  “Never been better. This has been the nicest day I’ve had in longer than I can remember.”

  “Me, too. Nicest day ever.”

  “I’m dying to kiss you.”

  “I’m dying to kiss you.”

  “Really?”

  I roll my bottom lip between my teeth and nod.

  He cups my cheek as he brings his lips down on mine. The kiss begins slowly with just the gentle glide of lips, but the fire that simmers between us erupts as it always does. His hands are everywhere as his tongue takes possession of my mouth. He shifts ever so slightly, moving me so I’m on top of him.

  The position is new to me, but he knows just what to do. With his hands on my bottom, he pulls me in tight against the hard length of his erection.

  I try to get closer, and he groans, a deep rumble that vibrates against my lips.

  Then his hands are on my breasts, stroking and rolling my nipples. My bikini top disappears while I’m lost in the kiss.

  Flynn breaks the kiss and draws my nipple into his mouth, tugging and sucking until I’m nearly delirious from the desire that has me pressing against him, trying to get closer. All I care about is being as close to him as I can get.

  “Flynn…” My hands are buried in his hair, holding him to my chest as he continues to suck on my nipple.

  “What, honey?”

  “I want…”

  “Tell me. Anything. I’ll give you anything you want.”

  “More. I want more.”

  “I want to touch you.” His hand moves from my bottom to the front, pressing between my legs. “Here.”

  “Yes. Yes.”

  He tugs on the bow that holds my bikini bottoms together, and the fabric drops away, leaving me bared to him. “You’re a goddess, Natalie. A
fucking goddess.” His fingers slide into the dampness between my legs, and he knows exactly where I need him to touch me. I feel like I’m going to break into a million pieces.

  “Natalie… I want to put my fingers inside you. Can I do that?”

  “Yes.” I love that he asked first, that he’s careful with me. It shows me how much he cares.

  His fingers slide inside me, and I want to scream from the pleasure that seizes me. Then he curls them and pushes on a spot I didn’t know existed. I detonate, nearly pulling the hair from his head as I come hard. I float down from the incredible high to realize he’s trembling and his fingers are still buried deep inside me.

  “Flynn…” I lick lips that have gone dry. Flattening my hands against his chest, I feel his heart pounding. His eyes are closed, and his jaw is doing that pulsating thing it does when he’s trying to control himself. “You’re making me forget all about my vows to never do any of this until I’m married.”

  “You’re making me think about Vegas.”

  “Vegas?” I have no idea what he means. “What about it?”

  “Wedding chapels. They have a lot of them there.”

  How is it possible to laugh when I’m lying naked in the arms of a man—willingly—for the first time in my life, with his fingers still inside me?

  “Natalie…” His eyes are still closed. “I want you so badly. I know it’s happened so fast and I need to be careful with you.”

  “You have been.” I kiss him, and his eyes open to meet my gaze.

  “I’m afraid I’m going ask for more than you want to give and scare you in some way. You push every button I have.”

  “I’m being terribly unfair to you.”

  He withdraws his fingers, making me gasp from the pleasure of his touch, and then shocks me when he brings them to his mouth to lick them clean. I’ve never witnessed anything so sensual or earthy. “No, you’re not. You’re teaching me that waiting for what I want builds character. You’re showing me that anything worth having is worth waiting for. And you’re showing me that it’s possible to care for someone else more than I do for myself.”