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  It was time to take herself off the insanity train. Enough was enough for her, even if Jordan wasn’t there yet. She’d get there eventually. Nikki was certain of it, but she wasn’t about to wait around and watch the shit show from the sidelines. She’d seen enough to last her a lifetime and to make her want to swear off men and marriage forever.

  “Take a vacation,” Jordan said. “You’re long overdue for some time off, and I’ll send you anywhere you want to go. Zane will make the jet available to you after they drop me in Houston for his show. Just say the word.”

  Nikki wanted to laugh at the irony of Zane making it possible for her to get as far away from him as she possibly could. That would make them both happy. He didn’t like her any more than she liked him—probably because he knew she was wise to him and not buying his bullshit the way Jordan did.

  “That’s all right.” Zane was the last person on earth she wanted to be beholden to for anything. “I’ll make my own arrangements as soon as I can pack up my stuff here and get it into storage.”

  Jordan stopped what she was doing with the sniffing and packing. “You’re serious.”

  “Dead serious,” Nikki said, six steps beyond exasperated. This conversation was so typical as to be comical—Jordan listened to every other word Nikki said and then acted surprised when she finally heard something Nikki had already told her four times. Except it wasn’t funny anymore. Not to her anyway. “It’s time, J,” she said gently. “We’re twenty-seven and still joined at the hip.”

  “So what? The Kardashians are older than us and together every minute of every day. No one thinks that’s weird.”

  If she had to hear one more word about the Kardashians, the family Jordan held up as the example all reality TV stars aimed to emulate, Nikki was going to lose her shit. “Um, everyone thinks they’re weird. Everyone except for you, that is.”

  “And the twenty million people who follow their every move,” Jordan said disdainfully. One of Jordan’s life goals was to have as many Twitter followers as Kim. She’d been well on her way with three million followers when the sex tape exploded her numbers to ten million. In Jordan’s twisted mind, Zane got credit for making her even more famous, the same way a sex tape had exploded Kim onto the national stage once upon a time.

  Nikki couldn’t handle her sister’s twisted mind or the twisted world in which she and Zane lived and worked. However, Nikki would miss Jordan’s Bel Air estate, which had been home to them both for the last three years. Nikki’s apartment was totally separate from Jordan and Zane’s part of the house, but she couldn’t live for one more day under the same roof as that man.

  No, the only roof she wanted to be under was the new one Riley McCarthy had put on their grandmother’s home on Gansett Island. Although, the thought of Gansett in January did give her pause. She’d never been there in the winter, but at least she knew the roof was solid. Riley was a man of his word. Nikki had known him only fleetingly, but she knew that much, and the roof would be as solid as he was.

  Perhaps a few weeks under that solid roof, away from the endless calamity that was her sister’s life, would give Nikki the space and perspective to figure out who she was beyond Jordan Stokes’s identical twin sister and faithful assistant. She needed her own life and identity. Hopefully, some time away from it all, some time in her favorite place in the world, would help her to figure out what that life might entail.

  Chapter 2

  The first big difference between Gansett in the summer and Gansett in the winter was the ferry ride. Holy crap, Nikki thought as the ferry crested one enormous wave after another. She’d never been seasick in her life, but this trip was testing that record, especially with people discreetly throwing up all around her.

  Air—she needed fresh air, and she needed it right now. She zipped up the heavy coat she had bought for the trip and pulled on a hat and gloves before stepping into the frigid air. The sky was gray and stormy, the seas churned, and the island was shrouded in thick haze as the ferry rose and fell with the tumultuous ocean.

  This is what adventure feels like, Nikki thought, almost gleeful after declaring her independence from the sister who’d begun to suck the life out of her with the never-ending drama she thrived on. Standing at the rail, Nikki held on tight to remain standing. Despite their physical similarities—even their own mother mixed them up on occasion—Nikki and Jordan had always been polar opposites. While Nikki was usually content to stay home with a good book, Jordan wanted to be out and about, to see and be seen. When Nikki wanted to go for a hike, Jordan wanted to go shopping. Nikki would eat anything, while Jordan was a vegetarian, a part-time vegan and on every fad diet that came along.

  Being Jordan’s assistant had exhausted Nikki. Being her sister had become almost as grueling a job. The time apart would do them both good. They were long overdue to start carving out identities separate from each other. Even after Jordan married Zane, she still spent more time with her sister than with her husband. Perhaps that was part of the reason their marriage was so toxic. If they were going to make it work, they needed her out of the way—and there was nothing she wanted more than to be far, far away from the Zane and Jordan freak show.

  Why was she even thinking about her sister when she’d traveled three thousand miles to escape her and the madness that came with her? Although, thinking about Jordan first was ingrained in her after being her assistant for the last three years. In that time, Jordan went from a contestant on a dating show to a major reality TV star to the wife of one of music’s biggest stars to sex-tape queen. Nikki’s job had been to see to the myriad details that came with being Jordan.

  Nikki would need an exorcism to reboot her thoughts and turn the focus away from her sister so she could figure out her own life, such as it was. She hadn’t had much of a life of her own since she’d started working for Jordan. When was the last time she’d done anything that was just for her?

  Yesterday, she thought, recalling how she’d stepped onto an airplane for a trip that had nothing to do with her sister. Prior to that, Nikki honestly couldn’t recall the last time she had done anything that didn’t in some way involve Jordan. Last fall when she’d made this trip, it had been with and for Jordan after Zane released the tape that had immediately gone viral.

  Jordan had wanted to be somewhere no one could find her. Nikki had immediately thought of their grandmother’s home on Gansett, where they’d spent summers with their mother and grandmother while growing up. Those had been some of the best times of their lives, and Jordan had quickly agreed to Nikki’s plan to hide out on Gansett where no one would think to look for her.

  Being there had been so restorative, at least it had been for Nikki, but Jordan had gotten restless after two weeks and had wanted to go home. Nikki had suspected that her sister had been talking to her husband, and thus the hasty departure. It hadn’t taken much effort to discover that Zane was the reason they’d left Gansett right when things were getting interesting. If you could call a new roof interesting.

  The man installing the roof had been extremely interesting. And kind. And handsome. And incredibly sexy. She’d liked talking to him, and she’d appreciated how quickly he’d fixed the leak that had damaged the ceiling in her bedroom. He was a take-charge kind of guy who got things done. As a take-charge person herself, Nikki respected that quality in others.

  She’d thought of him often during the months since she’d left the island. Because Jordan had been in such a rush to leave, Nikki hadn’t gotten the chance to say goodbye to Riley. That was probably why she’d thought of him so often. She’d felt bad about disappearing on him when he was putting a new roof on the house.

  It wasn’t like he needed her there to get the job done, but she hadn’t felt right about leaving without a proper goodbye. Hopefully, she’d run into him on the island while she was there. If he was even still there. For all she knew, he could’ve been wrapping up a summer job and had gone back to his regular life, wherever that was. She wished she’d thou
ght to ask him if he lived on the island year-round or only during the season.

  She wished she’d thought to ask him a lot of things.

  Like whether he had a girlfriend.

  Nikki laughed into the brisk breeze. A sweet, nice guy who looked like he did probably had all the girlfriends. If she allowed herself to believe he was probably a player, she could feel better about missing the chance to get to know him better.

  The ferry crested a huge wave, teetered at the top and then plunged into the trough with a stomach-dropping slide. Nikki’s tenuous grip on the rail was all that kept her from falling.

  A shout from her left had her looking up at a handsome, rugged-looking man rushing toward her. He wore a knit hat and a coat with the word CREW under the logo for the Gansett Island Ferry Company.

  “You need to be inside, ma’am,” he shouted over the wind. “It’s not safe out here.”

  She noted a lovely Irish lilt to his voice. “People are getting sick in there. I’m better off out here.”

  “Not if you go overboard,” he said. “I’m afraid I have to insist.” He gestured toward the door, and Nikki stepped into the pervasive stench of vomit.

  The man followed her in.

  “See what I’m saying? I’ll get sick in here. I won’t out there.”

  “Come with me.” He led her to a stairway that took them to the bridge, where the door was propped open to allow in fresh air. “Have a seat.” He gestured to a seat next to the man who stood at the helm.

  “It’s pretty ugly out here, Seamus,” the captain said. “I think we need to call it a day after this run.”

  “Aye, you read my mind. I’ll call it in.” He used his cell phone to place a call. “This is Seamus. We’re suspending service for the rest of the day.” He listened for a minute. “Tell them we’re sorry. They’ll have to come back tomorrow. It’s too rough for the fuel trucks anyway.” After listening some more, he said, “We’ll let them know in the morning. Talk to you then.” He ended the call and glanced at her. “You feeling okay?”

  “Yes,” Nikki said. “Thank you.”

  “Are you that… that girl on TV?” the other man asked. “Jordan Stokes?”

  “No, I’m her twin sister.”

  “She’s hot.”

  Nikki was never quite sure how to respond to comments like that about her identical twin. Jordan was hot, but Nikki wasn’t, apparently. Of course, Nikki had never starred in her own sex tape, so there was that. “If you say so,” she said to the grinning ferryboat captain.

  “Ah, yeah, and that tape… Whoa.”

  “Shut yer trap and drive the boat.” Seamus scowled at the younger man before returning his attention to Nikki. “Sorry about that, love. Some people talk before they think.”

  “Apologies,” the younger guy said.

  “It’s okay,” Nikki said, relieved to see the breakwater at South Harbor coming into view. All her life, the pile of rocks that made up the entrance to the harbor had represented home to her. Even though they’d come only for the summers, Nikki had never felt more at home anywhere than she did at her grandmother’s house on Gansett Island.

  They’d had a nomadic upbringing thanks to the custody battle that had resulted in the girls spending the school year with their father and holidays and summers with their mother, whose mental health and addiction challenges had made for a chaotic childhood for her daughters.

  Nikki had had enough chaos growing up to last her a lifetime. She found it interesting that while she ran from the drama that had defined their upbringing, Jordan seemed to embrace it. The peaceful vibe of the island was just what Nikki needed to regroup and figure out her next move. It worried her that Jordan seemed to be following in their mother’s troubled footsteps. As much as Nikki worried about her sister, however, she couldn’t live her life for her or keep her from making destructive decisions. She would focus exclusively on herself and her own life for the next little while.

  Jordan had been extremely generous in the years that Nikki had worked for her, and she had enough money to live comfortably for quite some time, which was a relief. Her grandmother had told her to make herself at home at the house for as long as she wanted to be there. She would hit the grocery store to stock up on what she needed and then hibernate for the next few weeks with her e-reader. Downtime was what she needed after the last few months of high drama.

  The younger captain left the bridge to use the aft controls to expertly turn the huge ferry and back it into port. Nikki never ceased to be fascinated by how easy they made that look.

  She extended her hand to Seamus. “Thank you so much for letting me sit up here.”

  He surprised and charmed her when he kissed the back of her hand. “My pleasure. I hope you enjoy your stay on the island.”

  She noticed a shiny gold wedding ring on his left hand. Too bad. Otherwise, she might’ve asked if he wanted to get a drink. The man was too handsome—and charming—for her own good. “I’m sure I will. It’s my favorite place in the world.”

  “Aye, mine, too. Hope to see you around town.”

  “Hope so. Take care.” She went down two flights of metal stairs to get into the black SUV she’d rented for a month. As always, it took about ten minutes after docking before the cars toward the front of the ferry started rolling off the boat. Usually, the ferry landing was a madhouse of people and bikes and strollers and cars and forklifts and frenetic activity. Today, she drove into a ghost town.

  The difference between summer Gansett and winter Gansett was… day and night. For the first time since she’d hatched the plan to come to the island, she experienced the tiniest bit of concern about being here alone during the winter. She’d promised her grandmother she’d check in daily in exchange for Gran turning on the cable and internet service. Some things a girl shouldn’t have to do without. HGTV, Netflix and Instagram were at the top of her must-have list, along with the food she stopped to pick up at the island market, which was also deserted. The woman working the cash register was reading a book with her feet up on the checkout counter when Nikki walked in.

  “Hey,” she said. “We’re closing in twenty minutes.”

  “I’ll be quick.” She moved swiftly through the store, putting the essentials in her basket—soy milk, which she was always surprised to find on the island, granola, yogurt, salad fixings, deli turkey, chicken breasts and Fritos. They counted as a necessity, as did the M&M’s and the tabloid magazines she snagged at checkout.

  This is a vacation, she told herself, thus the need for some reading material. “Wait one second,” she said, moving to the rack that held paperback books. She picked up a couple of romances and a thriller that was being made into a movie and added them to her order. Oddly enough, she sometimes preferred paperbacks when she was on Gansett.

  Netflix, books and Fritos. What else did she need to be happy? Her camera, which was never far from her side. After receiving her first thirty-five-millimeter camera from her dad at Christmas when she was thirteen, Nikki had been hooked. She never felt more inspired to take pictures than she did on Gansett, where the rugged scenery and ocean views provided an endless tableau to explore.

  Suddenly, she was excited again. Tomorrow, she’d get outside, take some pictures and get back to doing the things she loved. While she’d been busy putting out Jordan’s fires, she’d had little time for herself. Now she had nothing but time, and as she headed toward Eastward Look, her grandmother’s comfortable oceanfront home, Nikki couldn’t wait to be completely alone.

  * * *

  After work, Riley showered and shaved and put on a flannel shirt with good jeans, classified as such because he’d never worn them to work. He even put on a tiny bit of cologne. One never knew when one might meet someone special. It was best to be prepared.

  “You done primping, pretty boy?” Finn called to him. “Let’s go already!”

  “Showering doesn’t count as primping,” Riley informed his brother. “And tomorrow, we’re cleaning this house.”
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  “Shut up, Dad.”

  “Seriously, Finn, it’s disgusting. We haven’t cleaned once since Dad moved out two months ago.”

  “You can clean. I plan to sleep all day.”

  “You’re helping me.” Riley stepped over a pile of dirty clothes in the living room. “Most of the mess is yours.”

  “Life is too short to clean.”

  “Your life will be shorter if you don’t clean that bathroom, because I will kill you and bury what’s left of you in the backyard. You got me?”

  “Whatever. Can we drink now?”

  “I mean it, Finn! This place is gross, and it’s freaking me out.”

  “Fine. Tomorrow we’ll clean, but tonight we drink. Yes?”

  Riley rolled his eyes at the brother who was a year younger than he was and pushed past him, taking a bottle of water from a fridge full of science experiments. Their father would flip his lid if he could see the condition of the house where the three of them had lived until their dad moved in with his fiancée, Chelsea.

  The two of them were trying to have a baby, which meant his sons saw much less of him than they had during the year they’d lived together in the small three-bedroom house. It’d been spotless on their dad’s watch, but since he left, things had gone rapidly downhill.

  While Finn drove them into town, Riley guzzled the water that would keep him from being hungover tomorrow. “Who else is going?”

  “I told Mac, and he was interested. He said he’d see if Maddie minded if he went out, and he was going to tell the others. I guess we’ll see.”

  “Having a wife seems an awful lot like having a mother,” Riley said.