Five Years Gone Read online

  “I won’t. I so appreciate your input.”

  “Happy to help any time. Are we still on for Thursday?”

  “I’ll be there. Thanks again.”

  After we end the call, I check my texts and see one from Eric. Leaving the office. What’s your status?

  Almost home.

  Meet you at your place?

  Sounds good.

  See you in fifteen.

  I take the elevator to my apartment and head straight for the bathroom to brush my hair and teeth before he arrives. I’m rubbing scented lotion into my hands and arms when the doorman calls to let me know he’s arrived. Buzzing with excitement, I wait for him in the doorway.

  Chapter Sixteen

  AVA

  He comes off the elevator and stops short when he’s an inch from me. “Mmm, professional Ava is very, very sexy.” His arm hooks around my waist, and he lifts me right off my feet to walk us into my apartment, kicking the door closed behind us. “Skylar…”

  “Isn’t home.”

  “Oh, good, because this might get loud.”

  I expect him to put me down inside, but he moves with determination to my room and kicks that door closed, too.

  I frame his face and kiss him, thrilled to see him after the long day apart.

  He seems equally happy to see me if the press of his erection against my belly is any indication. We’re still kissing when he lowers me to the bed and comes down on top of me. “Mmm,” he says, “I’ve been thinking about your sweet lips all day. I couldn’t get a thing done, and it’s all your fault.”

  “How is it my fault?” I look up at him with an intentionally innocent expression. “What did I do?”

  Smiling, he kisses me again. “You did me. Really, really well.”

  I smack his shoulder. “I can’t believe you said that!”

  Laughing now, he buries his face in the curve of my neck and seems to breathe me in. “I love being with you, Ava, and every time we’re together, I just want more of you.”

  Combing my fingers through his dark blond hair, I realize he just summed up exactly how I feel about him.

  He raises his head to gaze down at me. “Tell me it’s not just me who feels this way.”

  “Definitely not just you.”

  “That’s very good news.” Keeping his eyes open, he kisses me softly and tugs at the top button to my blouse.

  My breasts feel tight and confined inside my bra, which he releases with the flick of his fingers over the front clasp. The relief is immediate but short-lived as he pushes both my shirt and the bra aside so he can run his tongue over my nipple. Sensation is like a live wire between my nipple and clit, and I wriggle beneath him, looking for more.

  “Nice and slow this time,” he whispers against my nipple. “I want to taste every inch of your sweet skin.”

  He’s true to his word, and by the time he finally enters me, the room has begun to go dark. I’ve already come twice, and I’m hovering on the brink of a third.

  I’m completely captivated by him. His tenderness shatters all my defenses, and as we move together, I can’t deny I’m falling hard for him. Perhaps I have been since my sister’s wedding, when he took such good care of me on a day that could’ve been torturous for me but wasn’t because of him.

  He’s loyal and devoted and adorable and sexy. I know his family and his secrets, which means so much to me. With Eric, what you see is what you get, and considering my past, there’s a lot to be said for that.

  I cling to him as he moves in me, his lips soft against my neck.

  “You feel so good, Ava. So hot and sweet.”

  His words and the heat of his breath on my neck make me shiver.

  He picks up the pace, his fingers digging into my hips. He touches a place deep inside me that triggers the orgasm that’s been building with every deep thrust.

  I cry out as I come, and he tightens his hold on me, groaning as he comes, too.

  I keep my arms around him under the suit coat he never took off, not wanting to let him go yet. He sags into my embrace.

  “Ava…”

  “I know. Me, too.”

  He releases a deep sigh of contentment that makes me happier than I’ve been in far too long.

  “Thank you for being exactly what I need.” I hadn’t intended to say that out loud, but the words are out before I can stop them.

  “Right back atcha, sweetheart.”

  Eric and I spend every night together that summer, except for when I’m traveling with Miles. The press coverage of Eric’s parents’ divorce is relentless, and other than having dinner with his father every other week or so, we do our best to stay far away from it. Camille and Rob aren’t so lucky since Rob works for his father and is forced to deal with it far more often than the rest of us.

  We support him with frequent nights out and regular dinners in which we “close ranks” around the four Tildens as they weather the storm their mother created. Story after story is written about the man she left their father for, who, it turns out, has a criminal record dating back to the eighties.

  From all accounts, Sarah Beth is standing by her man, who she claims has been “clean” for a decade.

  No one is surprised when Governor Tilden announces he won’t seek a second term.

  I feel guilty about being so happy in my life at a time when such chaos surrounds Eric’s family. But he seems to be holding up okay, and the more time we spend together, the more in love with him I am. Yes, you heard that right. I’m in love, and so is he. Not that we’ve said the words yet. We don’t have to. We both know.

  I’ve all but moved into his place, where we have complete privacy, although I’ve continued to develop my friendship with Skylar with regular lunches and happy-hour meetups. I also see Jessica twice a month as kind of a check-in to make sure I’m still moving in the right direction.

  I still have moments of grief and despair when I think of John, but they aren’t as frequent as they once were, and I no longer spend hours every day scouring the internet, hoping to find news of him. With hindsight, I can see how unhealthy that behavior was.

  In addition to my happy personal life, I absolutely love my job. Carlos has become my best friend as well as my work husband, and Miles… He’s an absolute sweetheart of a guy. I’ve gotten to know him quite well during our travels over the summer, and I’d go so far as to say we’ve become close friends.

  In mid-October, we’re in Los Angeles having an after-dinner drink in the hotel bar when he opens up to me about losing his fiancée.

  “I was supposed to go with them,” he says, taking me by surprise when I realize he’s talking about the cruise. Prior to this, he hasn’t said much about it other than the snippets he shares during interviews. “My father had a heart scare, so at the last minute, I flew home to Minneapolis and urged Emmie and her parents to take the trip without me. She wanted to come with me, but I didn’t want her to miss out on the trip she’d been looking forward to.”

  I haven’t heard this before. Those details weren’t contained in any of the stories that’ve been written about them. I’m riveted as the words seem to spill out of him, as if a dam has broken inside him.

  “Funny, isn’t it, that my father’s health scare saved my life.” His lightly spoken words convey a world of agony.

  “What was she like?” I know from experience it will matter to him that I care about her, that I want to know her.

  “She was…” He smiles, lost in memories. “She was life itself. Funny and outgoing. Klutzy and elegant at the same time. Athletic but not competitive. And beautiful. So very, very lovely, inside and out.”

  “I wish I’d gotten to meet her.”

  “Me, too. She would’ve liked you.”

  “That’s nice of you to say.” There are times, here and there, when I wonder if Miles would be interested in me if I didn’t have a boyfriend he’s met several times. This is one of those times. I ache for him and wish I could do something to ease his pain—short of
venturing into inappropriate territory. “I want to tell you something about me.”

  “Okay…”

  I’ve been wanting to tell him about John for a while now, and tonight seems to be a night for sharing. “I had a boyfriend in San Diego. A military officer named John West, or at least I think that was his name.”

  His brows furrow. “You don’t know for sure?”

  I shake my head. “I don’t know anything for sure when it comes to him.” I tell him the rest, the whole sordid tale, and he listens intently without interrupting.

  “Jesus, Ava,” he says when I’m finally finished. He sits back against the banquette and stares at me. “I don’t know what to say. I’m so sorry you went through that all alone.”

  “I chose to do it alone. I still haven’t gotten around to telling my sister or parents about him.”

  “Still…”

  “It’s nothing compared to what happened to you.”

  “It’s certainly not nothing, and you’re the last person who should’ve been assigned to publicity for the family group.”

  I rest my hand on his arm. “Trevor knows and offered me an out that I didn’t want. It’s been an honor and a privilege to work with you and the others. It’s helped in my healing, believe it or not.”

  “I can’t imagine living more than five years without knowing what’d happened to Emmie. How can you bear the not knowing?”

  “It was unbearable for a long time, but I reached a point where I couldn’t obsess about it anymore. I had to accept that I’ll probably never know what became of him. Moving to New York helped. Meeting Eric helped. This job has helped. Thank you for that, by the way.”

  “You don’t have to thank me. You’ve done a brilliant job for us.”

  “That’s nice to hear. I’m so thankful to have been entrusted with such an important project.”

  “I had no idea we were getting someone so uniquely qualified.”

  “It’s a hell of a club to belong to, isn’t it?”

  “One I’d never join willingly, that’s for sure.”

  “Can I ask you something that’s absolutely none of my business?”

  He flashes a rare, genuine boyish grin that transforms his serious countenance and gives me a hint of what he was like before tragedy struck. “Why stop now? Go for it.”

  “Do you think you’ll ever date again?”

  “I wish I had a dollar for every time I’ve been asked that. I’d be able to retire to the Caribbean and live out my days in luxury.”

  “I don’t mean to pile on.”

  He waves away the comment. “It’s a fair question, and after five and a half years, you’d think I’d be closer to an answer than I am. If I met someone who interested me, I wouldn’t be opposed to it, but I’m not about to start hitting the bars or anything.”

  “I have a friend…” The idea hits me with sudden clarity. Skylar.

  He groans. “If I had a dollar for every time I’ve heard that, I could buy a private island.”

  “But this time is different because my friend Skylar is amazing. You’d love her. She’s actually my roommate and was the first person I told about John. She came home to a full-on meltdown after the first time Eric kissed me, and I spilled the whole thing to her. She set me up with the therapist who’s been such a huge help to me. Skylar… she understands loss. Her younger sister was killed in an accident when Skylar was in law school. It messed her up badly.”

  “That’s so sad,” he says, seeming genuinely moved. “If you think I’d like her, I wouldn’t be opposed to meeting her. But not a blind date. Set something up with a group so it’s not insanely awkward. And make sure she knows the point of the evening.”

  “You’re really going to let me do this?”

  He shrugs, but there’s a helplessness to it that tugs at my heart. “Emmie’s not coming back, and I am getting rather sick of my own company. It might be time to stick a foot into the shark-infested waters.”

  I clap my hands in unrestrained glee. “This will be so fun!”

  He groans. “God, what’ve I gotten myself into?”

  * * *

  Two weeks later, Eric and I host a dinner party at his place. We’ve invited Rob, Camille, Amy, Jules, Miles and Skylar, who said she was willing to meet him if I thought she might like him. Naturally, she was deeply affected after hearing he lost his fiancée in the cruise ship attack.

  “Has he dated at all since then?” she asked.

  “No.”

  “Ah, well, at least you’re not dragging me into a total emotional minefield or anything.”

  “Did I mention he’s insanely hot and all pent up?”

  She rolled her eyes. “Save the sales pitch. I’ll meet your boss, but only because you’re asking me to. No expectations, though, you hear me?”

  “I hear you loud and clear. But I think you’ll really like him.”

  “Ava! Stop. There’s nothing in this world more awkward than a setup.”

  “Um, getting your skirt caught in your underwear is worse, or tripping over a grate and face-planting on the sidewalk, or—”

  “Enough. I’m doing this for you, so don’t make me regret it.”

  “Promise you won’t regret it.”

  Now that the big night is upon us, I’m nervous for two people who’ve become friends. I want them both to be as happy as I am with Eric.

  Speaking of the man who makes me so happy, I’m standing in his kitchen tending to the bruschetta I made as an appetizer when he slides his arms around me from behind, nuzzling my neck. He’s fresh from the shower and smells delicious.

  “My mouth is watering,” he says. “It’s like an Italian bistro in here.”

  “I’m worried I used too much garlic. If Miles offers to take her home, she won’t want to kiss him if she stinks like garlic.”

  Eric laughs. “You’ve worked yourself into a panic over this evening.”

  “He’s suffered so much. Imagine if they hit it off.”

  “Are you prepared for the possibility that they may not click?”

  “No! Don’t even say it. I want him to go crazy over her.” I bite my lip as another thought worries me.

  “What? Whenever you torture your poor lip, that means your wheels are spinning.”

  I push my ass back against his erection. “Quit acting like you know me so well.”

  “I do know you that well, so you may as well tell me what you’re thinking.”

  “I’m just kind of worried that Sky looks a tiny bit like his late fiancée.”

  He goes stiff behind me, and not in a good way. “You’re just thinking of that now?”

  “It’s not going to be a problem,” I say with more bravado than I feel. “It’s only a slight resemblance, and besides, Sky is fabulous. Anyone would love her.”

  “I hope you know what you’re doing, sweetheart.”

  I turn to face him and slide my hands up his chest to link behind his neck. “Thanks for letting me use your place tonight.”

  “My place is your place.” He kisses me. “You know that.” He gave me keys months ago so I could come and go as I please.

  “You told Rob and your sisters to act normal and not stare at them, right?”

  “Yes, dear. I follow all your orders like the awesome boyfriend I am.”

  “I just want this to be perfect for them, but especially for him. He’s such a nice guy, and he deserves to be happy again.”

  “If I didn’t know better, I’d be worried about this guy Miles you think so highly of.”

  “You have nothing to worry about, as you well know. I’m just… invested in him after all the time we’ve spent together.”

  “Not to mention the similarities of what you’ve been through.”

  “That, too.”

  “I get it, babe, and I know I have nothing to worry about. His story is heartbreaking, and it’d be great if he found someone wonderful to start over with the way I did.”

  “And the way I did.” I kiss him and
toss in some tongue because he deserves it after letting me take over his home the way I have in preparation for tonight.

  “That was very unfair,” he says when we break apart, breathing heavily when the kiss turns into a passionate embrace as most of our kisses do. He rubs his hard cock against me. “You’re going to let me walk around like this all night?”

  I glance at the clock on the oven, see that we have thirty minutes before our guests are due to arrive and turn off the heat under the pots on the stove. Grasping his hand, I tug him along behind me.

  “Um, excuse me. What’s happening here?”

  “Come with me, and I’ll show you.”

  “You lead, and I’ll follow.”

  In the living room, I push him down on the sofa, and he lands hard, making me laugh. I kneel before him, undo his belt and carefully unzip him, working around the huge bulge in his pants.

  “Ava,” he says on a protracted groan. “You’re killing me.”

  “We can’t have that now, can we?” I bend to take him into my mouth and go for broke, determined to finish him off in under five minutes so I can get back to the stove. It takes only four minutes before he’s gasping in the aftermath of an almost-violent release.

  “Holy shit. That was… Holy shit.”

  I pat his leg, lean forward to kiss him and get up to fix my makeup before our guests arrive. “Zip up before you get caught with your dick out, babe.” I love that his hands are shaking as he zips his pants.

  I go into the bathroom to brush my teeth and reapply my lipstick.

  Eric joins me, wrapping his arms around me like he did in the kitchen. “You are amazing, and I love you. Not just because you gave me the best blow job ever, but because you’ve become everything to me, and I can no longer imagine my life without you right in the middle of it.”

  My knees go weak under me, and only his arms tight around my waist keep me from sliding into a puddle on the floor. “Eric…”

  “It’s okay if you aren’t there yet, but I’ve been there for a while now, and it’s become almost painful trying not to say it too soon.”