Butler, Vermont Series Boxed Set, Books 1-3 Read online

  “Only that I want to see her again.”

  “Might be worth putting it all on the table if you’re determined to make it work.”

  “Too soon.”

  “Is it?”

  “For her, it probably is. She’s reserved and cautious.”

  “Makes sense. She has a lot on the line with a daughter to think about.”

  Before Grayson could reply, Ella plopped down on the sofa next to him. “I was over at the apartment today and took most of my stuff. I left things like sheets, towels and pans that I don’t need. If you don’t want them, let me know, and I’ll donate them.”

  “Sounds good, thanks.”

  “You’re taking over the apartment at the Abernathy place?” Wade asked.

  “That’s the plan.” Or it was the plan as recently as two days ago, Grayson thought. Now he didn’t know anything for sure except he wanted more with Emma. With that in mind, he caught her eye in the kitchen and tipped his head toward the front door.

  Her face turned bright red before she shook her head to say not yet.

  Amused and aroused by her, he turned his attention back to his cousins, both of whom were watching him intently. “What?”

  “Got some plans, cousin?” Ella asked, her eyes dancing with amusement.

  “Maybe.”

  “Good for you,” she said. “I love Emma. She’s so sweet, and that daughter of hers is a trip.”

  “Couldn’t agree more. They’re both great.”

  “What’re you going to do about it?”

  “Hell if I know. I thought I had my shit all figured out, and then wham.”

  “Can I say one thing?” Wade asked, his expression more intense than Grayson had ever seen it.

  “Sure.”

  “No matter what happens, don’t have regrets,” Wade said. “Regrets are tough to live with.”

  His cousin seemed to speak from experience.

  Ella’s eyes softened with compassion. “Wade…”

  “That’s all I want to say about it. Don’t have regrets, Gray.”

  “I hear you. Thank you.”

  Colton came over to the sofa. “Gray, come help me take Will’s dogs out.”

  “Will’s dogs were just out.”

  “They need to go out again.”

  “Subtle,” Ella said under her breath.

  “If I don’t come back, you’ll look for me, won’t you?” Grayson asked her.

  Ella giggled. “I will. I promise.”

  Grayson got up, grabbed his coat off a pile on a chair near the door and followed Colton out the door, the dogs bolting out ahead of them. “Whatever you want to say to me, say it fast. It’s colder than Jack Frost’s balls out here.”

  “What’s up with you and Emma?”

  “I’m sure you already know.”

  “I want to hear it from you.”

  “I like her. We’ve had fun together this week.”

  “That’s all? Fun?”

  “What’re you getting at, Colton?”

  “She means everything to Lucy. It would hurt her if Emma got hurt, and if Lucy’s hurt, I hurt. You follow?”

  “Um, I think so…”

  “Don’t hurt her, Gray. She’s special, and so is Simone.”

  “You think I don’t already know that? I get it.”

  “What happens after they go home?”

  “I don’t know yet.”

  “Figure it out.”

  “No pressure,” he muttered.

  “Lucy is worried. If she worries, I worry. You got me?”

  “I hear you. I don’t want Lucy to worry or Emma to be hurt any more than you do. Give me a little credit, will you? And give me some time. We have things to work out, but it’s not going to happen overnight.”

  “Fair enough.”

  “Can we go in now?”

  “Yeah, sure.”

  “Gray.”

  He turned back to his cousin. “Yeah?”

  “If you think it’s not going to happen, let her down easy, will you?”

  “Of course I will. And for what it’s worth, I’m not trying to figure a way out. I’m trying to figure out how I can have more. Much more.”

  Before Colton could reply, Grayson went back inside where Emma was staring at the door, seemingly waiting for him to come back.

  “What’s Colton saying to him?” Emma asked her sister.

  “I have no idea.”

  “No idea at all?”

  “Maybe the slightest idea. I’m worried about you. He’s picked up on that.”

  “There’s nothing to worry about.”

  “No?”

  “No. We had a really nice week, but it is what it is.” The hopelessness of it all weighed on her.

  “That’s it? You’re just giving up before you even try?”

  “What would you have me do? I can’t exactly split my time between here and New York the way you do. I have a child who goes to school and dance and soccer and has friends. I have a job with benefits that I need. I have a tribe in the city that makes it possible for Simone to do everything she wants to do. Dad is there, and he helps me a lot. Grayson just moved back here and is planning to set up a business. How in the world do you see this working out?”

  Lucy wilted under the strength of Emma’s argument. “I want it to work. I like the way you sparkle when you’re with him.”

  “I like it, too. And I like him—a whole lot.”

  “But?”

  “No buts.”

  “What’s she saying?” Cameron asked Lucy when she joined them after playing hostess.

  “That it’s hopeless.”

  “No, it isn’t,” Cameron said emphatically. “You and I know better.”

  “In her case, it might be.”

  “I don’t believe that,” Cameron said. “If two people are meant to be together, it works out. Somehow.”

  “Only in the movies,” Emma said with a smile for her friend.

  “In real life, too,” Cameron insisted. “We’re surrounded by examples of that right here in this room. Me and Will, Lucy and Colton, Ella and Gavin. Not to mention Charley and Tyler and Hunter and Megan. Every one of those couples overcame tremendous odds to make it work, because it was meant to be.”

  Emma wished she believed in fairy tales the way Cameron did, but life had taught her to be more practical.

  Grayson came in from outside and caught her gaze. Did he seem annoyed, or was that her imagination? The look he gave her left no doubt that he wanted to leave. Now.

  “We’re going to go,” Emma said, hugging her sister and then Cameron. “I’ll see you girls again soon, I hope.” Life in New York had been a whole lot less fun since they moved north. “Lu, Simone was hoping to see you before we leave in the morning.”

  “I’ll come by early,” Lucy said.

  “Emma,” Cameron said, “I know you think I’m full of crap—”

  Emma laughed. “I never said that!”

  “I know you. I know what you’re thinking. Cameron has her head in the clouds. But I really believe everything I said. If you have genuine feelings for him, and vice versa, somehow you’ll figure it out.”

  “That’d be very nice,” Emma said, hugging Cameron again.

  “She’s placating me, isn’t she?” Cameron asked Lucy.

  “I’d say you’re correct.”

  “I heard you both. I love you both. And I’ll talk to you soon.” She walked over to where Grayson held her coat.

  “Leaving so soon?” Will asked when he came to see them off.

  “Emma and Simone have to get to Burlington in the morning,” Grayson said.

  Colton hugged Emma. “It was great having you and Simone with us this week.”

  “We loved every minute of it.”

  “Come see us again soon.”

  “I’m sure Simone will be dragging me up here for another skiing lesson before too long.”

  “I’m happy to give her another lesson any time she wants,” Colton said.
>
  Will shook hands with Grayson. “Drive carefully.”

  “Will do. Thanks for the beer.”

  “Any time.”

  Emma and Grayson ran out into the tundra, where the air was so cold, it hurt to breathe. He stayed with her until she was safely in the SUV and then ran around to his side and started the engine.

  She immediately turned on the heated seat. “I’m going to miss your bun warmer.”

  “Is that right?” he said with a low chuckle.

  She snuggled into the seat. “Mmm.”

  “I’m going to miss your warm buns.”

  Emma laughed.

  “Is the bun warmer the only thing you’re going to miss?” he asked.

  “No. You know I’m going to miss much more than that.”

  He gave her a small smile that let her know she wasn’t the only one wrestling with their impossible dilemma. “You want to go back to Molly’s?”

  “What’re my options?”

  “We could go to my place for a little while.”

  At the thought of more time alone with him, her heart beat faster and her entire body felt warm despite the frigid temperatures. She knew what she ought to do—call it a night and go home before they could make things worse. But honestly, how could it be any worse than her leaving here tomorrow and not seeing him again for a long time? “We can go to your place.”

  “Are you sure?”

  “No,” she said with a laugh. “I’m not sure of anything other than I want to spend more time with you.”

  He ran his finger over her cheek, and she felt his touch everywhere. “I want that, too.” His hand dropped from her face to shift the SUV into reverse. As soon as they were on the road back to town, he took hold of her hand, and he didn’t let go until they were parked in his driveway.

  Before he shut off the engine, he leaned across the center console to kiss her. His hand sank into her hair, drawing her closer to him as the kiss went from sweet and tender to hot and bothered with one stroke of his tongue against hers.

  She curled her hand around his neck and leaned in closer as their tongues engaged in a fierce duel.

  He broke the kiss on a gasp. “Inside. Hurry.”

  Chapter 15

  Love and compassion are necessities,

  not luxuries. Without them humanity cannot

  survive. —Dalai Lama

  His urgency sparked hers as they dashed into the house and up two flights of stairs. Outside his apartment, he fumbled with the key and swore when it didn’t work on the first try.

  Emma giggled at his frustration.

  The door swung open, and he compelled her in ahead of him, pulling at her coat before she was even through the door. Their coats landed on the floor right inside the door. He grasped her sweater while she unbuckled his belt, both pulling and tugging until their clothes were in a pile at their feet.

  His lips came down on hers in a devouring kiss that had her clinging to him and then gasping when he lowered her to the floor, coming down on top of her without missing a beat in the frantic kiss.

  She took him in hand and directed him to where she wanted him so badly.

  He pushed into her, taking hold of her hands and pinning them over her head. “Is this okay?”

  She appreciated that he would stop in the midst of madness to ask that. “Only because it’s you.”

  Her reply seemed to fuel his ardor, and he pounded into her in a way he never had before, wild and unrestrained.

  A knock on the door had them both freezing mid-stroke.

  “Ella? Is that you? Are you and that Guthrie boy hanging pictures again?”

  Grayson’s eyes got very big before he lost it laughing, taking Emma down with him. “That’s Mrs. Abernathy, the landlord,” Grayson whispered.

  Another knock. “Ella?”

  “Say something,” Grayson said. “She’ll think you’re Ella.”

  “Everything’s fine, Mrs. Abernathy,” Emma said as cheerfully as she could while Grayson throbbed inside her and his chest hair abraded her sensitive nipples.

  “Okay, dear. Just making sure. Good night now.”

  “Good night.”

  When they heard the older woman walk away, they began to laugh again. They laughed so hard that tears ran down their faces and they gasped for breath.

  “Oh my God,” Grayson said when he’d recovered somewhat. “Ella and Gavin… hanging pictures. Those dirty devils. I can’t wait to see her again.”

  “If you tell her what happened, you’ll be confessing that you were hanging some pictures of your own.”

  That got him laughing all over again, which started her up again, too.

  “Have we lost the mood?” he asked when he’d recovered.

  “Maybe a little, but I bet we can get it back.”

  He smiled down at her. “I’ll take that bet.” He kissed her lightly. “Shall we relocate to the much more comfortable bed?”

  “Yes, please.”

  Grayson withdrew from her and stood, reaching out to help her up and then wrapping his arms around her. “That was the best laugh I’ve had in years.”

  “Me, too.”

  He held her close to him as he walked them toward the bedroom.

  Emma kept her arms around his neck and followed his lead, walking backward as he navigated for both of them.

  Standing by the side of the bed, he held up the covers and Emma got in ahead of him, immediately chilled by the loss of his warmth. He was right behind her, reaching for her and drawing her into his embrace, their legs intertwining and their lips meeting in another hungry kiss.

  Every single thing about him appealed to her, from the way he kissed her, to his scent, to the roughness of his leg hair, to the flex of his muscles, to the tender way he held and touched her. Grasping her leg, he drew it over his hip and entered her again, the position intensely intimate with his gaze locked on hers as they faced each other. She’d never done anything remotely like this. In her distant past, sex had been fast and mostly meaningless. But this, with him… It defied description.

  “Good?” he asked.

  “So good.” She held on to his arm while his hand lay flat on her bottom, holding her tight against him.

  “Emma…” His eyes were closed, his lips parted. He was so damned sexy when he lost himself in her this way. “God, Emma… Tell me you’re close.”

  “So close.”

  Rolling them so she was under him, he gave it to her hard and fast, driving deep until they came together in a moment of utter magic. There was, simply, no other word for it.

  Emma clung to him in the aftermath, needing his solid weight on top of her. She’d had sex before him. Not much, but some. In the romance novels she devoured late at night when Simone was in bed, she’d read about it far more than she’d done it. She knew enough to realize the difference between sex and lovemaking. This, right here, had been all about love. Not that she could say that to him, not now anyway.

  He lay with his head on her chest and his arms around her.

  Emma combed her fingers through his hair, enjoying the peaceful interlude after the storm of passion that had been unlike anything she’d ever imagined for herself. He was far more than she’d ever imagined. And she had to leave him in less than twelve hours.

  “Why did you just get all tense?”

  Sighing, she said, “Because I have to go home tomorrow.”

  “I wish you could stay.”

  “So do I. I’m trying to picture going back to my normal routine after this week.”

  “I’m having trouble picturing my normal routine without you and Simone as part of it.”

  Her heart ached with the desire to be part of his normal routine—and to make him part of hers. But how would they do that? The obstacles seemed insurmountable from her point of view.

  “Something happened today.”

  “I know. I was there.”

  His low chuckle made her smile. “Something else happened today, I should say.” He withdrew
from her, shifted onto his back and then reached for her, snuggling her into his embrace. “Noah heard from my dad. Apparently, he has leukemia and needs a bone marrow transplant. He’s asked if we’d be willing to be tested.”

  “Oh. Wow. What do you think about that?”

  “Truthfully? I think he can go fuck himself.”

  “I can certainly understand why you feel that way. What did Noah say?”

  “Not much, but he never has much to say about anything.”

  “So you won’t get tested?”

  “Hell no. I couldn’t care less if he lives or dies.”

  Emma thought about that, trying to see it from his point of view. So much had fallen to him after his father left the family, and he was rightfully bitter about that.

  “What’re you thinking?” he asked after a long silence.

  “I don’t want to presume to know you better than you know yourself…”

  “It’s okay to say what’s on your mind. I want your opinion. That’s why I told you.”

  “I understand completely why you feel the way you do about him. You have every good reason to despise him.”

  “But?”

  “You’re a good and decent man, Grayson. Would you be able to live with yourself if you ignore his request and he dies?”

  His deep sigh answered for him.

  “There’s no judgment from me if you say you could live with that outcome. I’m just playing devil’s advocate here.”

  “I hate that I feel obligated to do this, whether I want to or not, for that very reason.”

  “It’s a simple test, right? Have the test and go on with your life, knowing you were the better man. You and he would both know it was more than he deserved from you.”

  “You’re right,” he said with a sigh, “and I guess that’s what I’ll do. None of his siblings were a match, so chances are none of us will be either.”

  “Your younger siblings will be looking to you for direction on this.”

  “I know. If I do it, they will, too. And if I don’t…”

  “You have to do it, Grayson. His life is on the line. You don’t have to see him or talk to him to be tested.”

  “That’s true.” He gave her arm a squeeze. “Thanks for listening.”

  “Any time.”