All My Loving: A Butler, Vermont Novel Read online

  “That’d be amazing!” Amanda said, thrilled and overwhelmed.

  “Good, then you’re hired,” Cameron said.

  “Thank you so much!” Amanda couldn’t recall the last time a professional challenge interested her as much as this one did.

  “Thank you for offering,” Lucy said. “Since we had this brilliant idea, we’ve been trying to figure out how to implement it. We’ll get in touch with you tomorrow to coordinate times.”

  “Now that you guys have concluded this staff meeting,” Ella said, “I want to know what else is on Amanda’s list of things to do with her second chance.”

  “And I want to know what would be on your list if you were me,” Amanda said. “What would going wild look like to you, or what would you do if you could do anything you wanted?”

  Chapter Twelve

  “If I can create the minimum of my plans and desires,

  there shall be no regrets.”

  —Bessie Coleman

  The other women appeared to give Amanda’s question some considerable thought.

  “If I had everything to do over,” Hannah said, “I might’ve made a run at acting.”

  “Really?” Ella asked. “I’ve never heard you say that before.”

  “I used to love being in school plays and thought for a while I might do something with that, but then Caleb and I got married, and one thing led to another, and here I am at thirty-seven, remarried with a baby, another on the way, and it’s not something I think much about anymore. What about you guys? What would you do?”

  “I would’ve had more sex,” Cameron said bluntly.

  “Do tell,” Ella said, smiling.

  “I was always somewhat timid in that regard, and I wonder now why I was like that. What would it matter if I’d had safe sex with more guys?”

  “It wouldn’t have mattered,” Megan said. “I agree with you. More is more in that regard.” She glanced at Amanda. “I hope you don’t think we’re suggesting you run around and do it with every guy you meet.”

  Amanda laughed. “I know what you mean, and I hear what you’re saying. It’s all about living life to the fullest, however that may be for you.”

  “Exactly,” Cameron said. “And believe me, I don’t sit around pining for the old days when I woulda, coulda, shoulda with guys I used to know. I am more than satisfied in that regard with Will.”

  “Ew,” Charley said. “Stop right there.”

  “Me, too,” Megan said. “With Hunter.”

  “Same,” Emma said. “Grayson.”

  “I can’t with you people,” Charley said, making a disgusted face.

  “Count me in—with Lucas,” Dani said, sticking her tongue out at Charley, who groaned and covered her ears.

  “So besides all the sex,” Amanda said, smiling, “what else do you guys wish you’d done or still want to do?”

  “I have no regrets about anything,” Emma said. “I have my daughter, and now we have Gray, and I love our life here. I don’t sit around wishing for anything other than exactly what I have right now.”

  “That’s very sweet,” Amanda said. “It must be so comforting to feel you’re exactly where you belong.”

  “It is. I went through a lot of years of uncertainty and difficulty to get where I am now, so maybe that helps me to know a good thing when I have it.”

  “I agree with my sister,” Lucy said. “After I met Colton, things just seemed to fall into place for me in all aspects of my life. That’s not to say I wasn’t fine before him, but I’m so much better with him than I was by myself.”

  Megan nodded in agreement. “I feel the same way, although I wasn’t as ‘fine’ before Hunter as you were before Colton. I was kind of spinning, trying to figure myself out, and Hunter definitely helped me to get to what mattered to me. He encouraged me to pursue my desire to write novels, and I’m working on my first one now.”

  “I love that,” Amanda said. “That’s exactly the kind of thing I’m talking about. What is it that I’ve always wanted to do, and how do I make that happen? The lesson I’ve learned is that the future is right now. Don’t put off the things you want to do, or you might never do them.”

  “I think it’s so cool that you’re reevaluating everything after the fire,” Ella said. “A lot of people would’ve curled up into a ball after something like that.”

  “I did that for the first few days, but since then, I’m trying to stay focused on making some changes.”

  “I can’t help but ask,” Hannah said tentatively, “how our brother fits into that.”

  “He’s agreed to be my partner in crime,” Amanda replied.

  “For now or… Well…” Hannah shook her head. “I’m sorry. I don’t mean to pry, but I don’t get the feeling from him that he’s looking for a temporary adventure. I think he might be ready for more than that.”

  “We’ve talked about it, and we’ve agreed to take it a day at a time and see what happens.”

  “Fair enough,” Hannah said. “He’s my baby brother. I guess I’m a little protective.”

  “I totally understand.”

  “Where’s Mia tonight?” Emma asked.

  “In Boston for some wedding stuff,” Cameron said. “I can’t believe the wedding is already next weekend.”

  “That’s going to be so much fun,” Ella said. “I can’t wait for all of us to get on that bus Dad rented. Can you even imagine?”

  “Nope,” Charley said. “I can’t.”

  “What’s the plan for that?” Dani asked. “Lucas told me about it before the fire, but I haven’t heard the details.”

  “We leave next Friday around noon,” Ella said. “The rehearsal and rehearsal dinner are Friday night, and the wedding is on Saturday afternoon.”

  “Landon asked me to go, but I have nothing to wear,” Amanda said. “I lost everything in the fire.”

  “I can help with that if you don’t get a chance to shop,” Hannah said. “We’re about the same size. My closet is your closet.”

  “That’s very nice of you. Thanks.”

  “No problem.”

  By the time Amanda left with Dani a couple of hours later, she felt like she’d acquired a whole group of new girlfriends—more friends than she’d ever had in her life, a thought she shared with Dani.

  “I know what you mean,” Dani said. “I feel the same way. I have some good friends at home, but this group is something else altogether. They’re all so accomplished and smart and so generous. I love being around them.”

  “I do, too. That was a lot of fun tonight.”

  “It was.”

  “How’s Lucas feeling today?”

  “A little better every day. My biggest challenge is keeping him from doing too much too soon. He’s not taking well to convalescence.”

  “He’s used to being very active.”

  “Right, but I keep reminding him that this is temporary, and if he doesn’t chill, it’ll take even longer.”

  “That’s true.”

  “So things are good with Landon?”

  Amanda smiled at the memory of the hours they’d spent in bed earlier. “Things are good. Yes.”

  “I love that. He’s been so great since the fire, checking on us and bringing food and running himself ragged to cover his work and Lucas’s. I’ve become a big fan of my fiancé’s twin brother.”

  “I’m a big fan of his, too. He’s done the same for me.”

  “They’re both really good guys.”

  “Yes.” Amanda thought for a second, trying to decide how much she should say to Dani. “Could I ask you something, just between us?”

  “Of course.”

  “Does it bother you that Lucas was super popular with women before he met you?” And then she thought better of it. “I mean, you knew that, right?”

  Dani laughed. “I knew, and it doesn’t surprise me. I mean, look at the two of them, right?”

  “Right.”

  “But it’s more than just how handsome and sexy th
ey are—and I mean that platonically where Landon is concerned.”

  Amanda laughed. “I gotcha.”

  “It’s how good and kind and sweet they are, too. Those things matter more to me than how Lucas looks. He was so incredible to me and Savannah from the very beginning. When he found us in that ditch, he took such good care of us. That impressed me more than anything. I think I fell a tiny bit in love with him that first night.”

  “I had the same reaction to Landon the first night we went out.”

  “But not to Lucas?”

  Amanda groaned. “I love Lucas. I did even before the fire, but for whatever reason, it’s just different with Landon, and I know how bonkers that must sound.”

  “No, I get it. When I look at Lucas, I see so many things that aren’t there when I’m talking to Landon. He’s become a very good friend, but that’s all it’ll ever be.”

  “I find it fascinating that we can have such opposing reactions to identical twins.”

  “Well, they are two different people, even if they look exactly the same.”

  “That’s true. Did you think Hannah seemed a little annoyed about me seeing Landon when I’m going through this life shakeup?”

  “I’m not sure I’d call it annoyed so much as concerned. From what I’ve seen, the Abbotts love to bicker and push each other’s buttons, but when it comes right down to it, they’d take a bullet for each other.”

  “What must it be like to be part of a family like that?”

  “Yours isn’t close?”

  Amanda shook her head. “I have two much older siblings. I haven’t seen them in years.”

  “Do you talk to them?”

  “An occasional text or email, but we’re not close. Not like the Abbotts are. What about you?”

  “I’m a one and only, but I have a best friend named Leslie who grew up next door to me who’s like a sister.”

  “It’s good that you have her.”

  “For sure. When I lost Jack, Savannah’s father, Les was the one who saved me. Others were there and tried to help, but she was the only one I wanted.”

  “I’m so sorry you lost him.”

  “Thanks. I think of him every day, and I see him in Savannah all the time. She smiles like he did.”

  “I give you credit for surviving that.”

  “I didn’t have any choice. I had a child to think about. I thank God for her all the time. She’s the one who truly saved me. Before she arrived, I didn’t think I was going to survive it, but she gave me a purpose and a reason to get out of bed in the morning.”

  With some directional help from Amanda, Dani pulled into Landon’s driveway.

  “Could I ask you something, Dani? And will you promise not to tell anyone I asked?”

  Dani put the car in Park. “Of course. Anything you want.”

  “Is the assistant manager position at the warehouse still open?”

  “It is. We’ve had a lot of applicants, but no one who’s truly qualified yet.”

  “I might be interested.”

  “You’d probably be overqualified.”

  “Maybe, but I’m looking to simplify my life, get off the travel bandwagon and put down some roots. I like it here, and I’d love to work for the Abbotts. I don’t have warehouse experience, but I know retail, and I think I could be an asset to you.”

  “I’m sure Linc would go for it. I can ask him if you’d like.”

  “Hold that thought for a short time, if you would. I need to figure out a few things before I decide for sure.”

  “No problem. Keep me posted. We’re looking to have someone in the job by mid-August.”

  “That timing would be ideal. Let me get back to you, and keep it between us for now?”

  “Will do. You know where to find me when you’re ready.” Dani got out of the car to help Amanda up the stairs to the porch.

  “Like Lucas, I’m looking forward to being back to normal so I won’t need help for the simplest things.”

  “I’ll tell you the same thing I say to him—chill out and relax while you can.”

  “Yes, ma’am. Thanks for the ride and the info about the job.”

  “My pleasure. Are you guys going to Sunday dinner?”

  Landon hadn’t mentioned it to her, but he probably would. “I suppose we are.”

  “Great, see you then.” Dani waited until Amanda had slowly made her way inside the house, using the key Landon had given her, before she drove off.

  Amanda went straight for the woodstove and used the wood Landon had brought in before he left for work to stoke the fire. She couldn’t believe how chilly it still was in the mountains in early June.

  She’d changed into pajamas and one of Landon’s warm flannel shirts when the phone rang. The caller ID said Butler Vol FD, so she took the call. “Hey.”

  “Hi there. I wondered if you’d be home yet.”

  “Just got here about fifteen minutes ago. Thank you for arranging my ride with Dani.”

  “No problem. Did you have fun with the girls?”

  “So much fun. My stomach hurts from laughing.”

  “That sounds about right.”

  “Megan told me you also arranged for piano lessons for me.”

  “I meant to tell you that, but I got distracted earlier.”

  She smiled at how he described their afternoon in bed. “Is that right?”

  “Oh yeah. Very distracted. I hope it’s okay I asked Hunter about teaching you.”

  “It’s very sweet of you. So far, you’re being an awesome partner in crime.”

  “Glad you think so.”

  “Megan invited me to dinner one night this week and said Hunter could show me some of the basics while I’m there.”

  “If it's a night I’m working, I can go with you as long as I have a radio with me.”

  “Really? That’d be awesome.”

  “Sure, we can make that happen. I have to tell you… Normally, I like working nights, but not so much this week.”

  “And why is that?”

  “Gee, I wonder. Could it be the smoking-hot woman who’s sleeping in my bed?”

  “I thought we were exclusive. What’s her name?”

  “Haha, you know her well, in fact.”

  “Not really, but I’m working on getting to know her better. You’ll never guess what happened tonight.”

  He groaned. “I’m not sure I want to hear this.”

  Amanda laughed. “You’ll like it. I mentioned how I want to do more writing about people and their stories. Cameron and Lucy hired me to write some profiles for the catalog, starting with Mildred Olsen and your grandfather.”

  “That’s great, Amanda. Good for you.”

  “I’m super excited about it. I’ve got experience writing catalog copy, and for years, I’ve been trying to talk my mom and the management team into doing more profiles of how people are using our products for our catalog. But they feel that people would be too embarrassed to discuss our products that way. Writing about your family’s business and the people who run it will be so much fun.”

  “Look at you, shaking things up. I’m happy for you.”

  “Thanks. I’m looking forward to it.” After a pause, she added, “Today was a really good day.”

  “For me, too. I like hearing you sound happy.”

  “It feels good to be making some changes that get me closer to where I want to be. Also, Hannah offered to loan me a dress for the wedding if you still want me to go with you.” He’d asked her before the fire, but they hadn’t talked about it again since.

  “Of course I want you to go. I have to take a run to Montpelier at some point in the next few days to pick up the ring Lucas bought for Dani. You can come with me and go shopping if you’d rather have something new.”

  “That sounds fun.”

  “We’ll do that. Tomorrow or the next day. Whenever you want.”

  “Okay.”

  An alarm sounded in the background on his end. “We’re getting a call. Got to
run.”

  “Be safe.”

  “I will. Don’t worry. I’ll see you in the morning.”

  “I’ll be here.”

  “You’d better be. I want you to do something wild.”

  “What’s that?”

  “Sleep naked.”

  “I can’t do that! I’ll freeze.”

  “No, you won’t. The down comforter on my bed will keep you nice and toasty. Come on. You want to walk on the wild side, right?”

  “I do.”

  “Then I want to think about you naked in my bed waiting for me to get home in the morning.”

  “Fine.”

  “You’ll do it?”

  “I’ll do it.”

  “That’s my wild girl. See you, all of you, in the morning.”

  When the phone went dead, Amanda smiled and hobbled over to put the portable phone back on the charger. Before she’d come to Vermont, she hadn’t seen a phone like that since she was growing up at home in Missouri. It still boggled her mind that people in Butler lived without cell phones because there was no reception in their town. That had been the biggest adjustment to being there for her as a cell-phone-addicted kind of girl.

  She realized she hadn’t checked her phone in hours. What was the point when you had no reception? She dug it out of her purse and took it with her to bed, logging on to Landon’s Wi-Fi so she could get her texts and email. But before she got into bed, she recalled his instructions and tossed her phone on the bed while she removed her clothes and snuggled under the comforter.

  With her teeth chattering, she questioned the wisdom of dancing on the wild side when it was still cold in Vermont. She sent an arm outside the cocoon to find the phone and brought it under the covers to check her messages and emails while Landon’s soft flannel sheets brushed against her hard nipples.

  “The man is a devil,” she said, wishing he was there to keep her warm.

  She’d received a message from her mother asking her to choose the trade shows she wished to attend that summer so they could set the schedule. Amanda scrolled through the dates and locations—New York City, Los Angeles, Seattle, Chicago, Austin, San Antonio, Phoenix, Charlotte, Baltimore. In a usual summer, she attended up to seven trade shows. As she scrolled through the options, she only felt dread.