It's Only Love Read online

  In truth, she wouldn’t have wanted that with the other guys she’d been with. She wouldn’t have trusted them enough to let go so completely. With Gavin, she had no choice. He swept her up in a sea of sensation and pleasure that left her gasping and panting and coming harder than she’d ever thought possible.

  And then someone was knocking on her door. “Ella? Are you all right in there? I heard something banging from the vestibule and didn’t know what to make of it.”

  “Oh my God,” she whispered. “It’s Mrs. Abernathy.”

  Gavin snorted through his nose. They’d both had her for high school math.

  “I-I’m fine, Mrs. Abernathy,” Ella called through the door. “Sorry, just dropped something.”

  “If you’re sure . . .”

  “I’m sure.”

  “Did I see Gavin Guthrie’s truck outside?”

  “Yes, he’s helping me with . . . We’re hanging some pictures.”

  Gavin shook with silent laughter, his tears wetting her neck.

  “All right then. Good night, dear.”

  “Good night.”

  While their bodies continued to throb from what they were doing before they were so rudely interrupted, Ella listened to the sound of Mrs. Abernathy’s sensible shoes scuffing against the treads on the stairs.

  Gavin laughed so hard, he made no sound. His laughter sparked hers, and before long, they were clinging to each other, tears rolling down their faces.

  When he got himself under control, he grasped her bottom, lifted her off the door, and carried her to the bedroom, coming down on top of her. “I’ll never be able to look Mrs. Abernathy in the eye again.”

  “How do you think I feel? I have to see her every day!”

  “You need to stop banging in your apartment.”

  “It’s that Guthrie boy. He’s bad news.”

  He smiled at her, and she loved that look on him. “Yes, he is. I tried to tell you that.”

  “I’d like to finish banging now, please.”

  “Oh, so polite.” Gavin kissed her and began moving inside her, starting slowly on the way to picking up where they’d left off. He had her so primed and ready from the session against the door, that it didn’t take much to take her right back up again.

  She clung to him, her arms wrapped around his neck, her knees snug against his hips, rocking into his every thrust.

  “Ella, babe . . . Come with me. Come with me.” He threw his head back as the orgasm overtook him. His release triggered hers, and she had to smother the urge to scream from the exquisite pleasure they generated together. “Feels so good, baby. So good.”

  She held him close as his body rocked with aftershocks.

  “Holy shit,” he muttered. “What a difference no condom makes.”

  “I take it you liked it?”

  “If I loved it any more, I’d be dead.”

  “Don’t joke about that, please.”

  He raised his head and kissed her softly, gently. “Sorry.”

  Ella brushed the sweaty hair off his forehead and took a moment to just look at him. She never, ever got tired of looking at him. He was so damned beautiful.

  Kissing her again, he said, “I should probably go. We’ve been outed by Mrs. Abernathy.”

  “Don’t go. I want to sleep with you.”

  “I’d hate to make you the subject of gossip, El.”

  “I don’t care if people talk. I want them to know we’re together. What do I care what people say?”

  “I care,” he said. “I don’t want them talking about you.”

  “Then let’s go to your place.”

  “Right now?”

  “Right now.” She pushed at his shoulder, and he withdrew from her, flopping onto his back to watch her as she got busy packing an overnight bag. “Get up before you fall asleep.”

  He groaned as he pulled himself out of bed and went into the bathroom to clean up and then to get his clothes in the other room. By the time he was dressed, Ella was ready. “Leave your car here,” he said. “I’ll bring you home in the morning.”

  “That’s crazy. You don’t need to make a special trip.”

  Cupping her face in his hands, he kissed her. “I want to make a special trip, and I’ll bring you home.”

  “Okay.” Her insides quaked when he looked at her that way, when he held her face in his hands and made her feel so cherished.

  They packed up some of the groceries they’d bought for breakfast and rode to his house in contented silence, his hand wrapped around hers the entire way. He never once let go. Ella loved that. She loved every single thing about being with him this way—except for the nagging, gnawing fear that something would happen to mess it up.

  After having even this small taste of what was possible between them, she wouldn’t be able to handle something going wrong. And that made her feel madly vulnerable, like a live nerve ending walking around outside her body subject to severe pain at any given moment.

  She’d gone into this with her eyes wide open, knowing what—and who—she was taking on. But that didn’t make it any easier to picture a cataclysmic ending to their fairy tale.

  That wouldn’t happen. It couldn’t. She’d make sure of it.

  Gavin drove onto the grounds of Guthrie Logging after a short ride through town and into the foothills of Butler Mountain. He pulled up to his cabin and cut the motor. “Let me come around for you since the outside lights aren’t on.”

  When he shut off the headlights, the darkness surrounded them, and Ella was glad he was coming to get her. The passenger door opened, and he held her hand to help her down from the truck. He kept a firm hold on her hand until they were inside the cozy cabin.

  The door shut behind him and the lock clicked into place. Then he gave a gentle tug on her hand and once again had her pressed against a door before she could begin to gauge his intentions.

  “No one to hear us hanging pictures here,” he said with a sexy grin that lit up his gorgeous eyes.

  “Good to know.” She reached up to caress his face. “But you need sleep more than you need to hang more pictures.”

  “I hate to admit you might be right.” He kissed her and then pulled himself off her, leading her into the bedroom. “You can have the bathroom first.”

  “I’ll be quick.” In the bathroom, Ella brushed her teeth and changed into lightweight pajama pants and a tank. When she returned to the bedroom, she found Gavin stripped down to boxers and was once again struck by the fact that she now got to look at him—all of him—any time she wanted to. “Your turn.”

  “Get the bed warm for me.”

  “You got it.” Snuggled under the warm down comforter and soft flannel sheets, she listened to the water running in the bathroom and waited for him with breathless anticipation. She was in big trouble where he was concerned, and the trouble got bigger with every minute she spent with him.

  CHAPTER 12

  All human wisdom is summed up

  in two words; wait and hope.

  —Alexandre Dumas

  Gavin crawled into bed and immediately reached for her.

  She curled up to him, her hand on his abdomen, her legs tangled up in his.

  “You’re wearing far too many clothes,” he said. “If we’d stayed at your place, we would’ve slept naked. I feel penalized for protecting your reputation.”

  Ella laughed. “You’re very cute when you’re petulant.”

  “You’re very cute when you use big words. Now take all this crap off, will you? I want to feel your skin against mine.”

  Gavin Guthrie wanted to sleep naked with her. He wanted to feel her skin against his. His gruffly spoken words had her on the verge of overheating as she pulled the tank over her head and then removed her pajama pants and panties.

  The second she tossed her clothes onto the
floor, his arms came around her, drawing her into his warm embrace. When she felt the press of his hard cock against her bottom, she realized he’d removed his underwear, too. Good God. How was she supposed to sleep when he was hot and hard and ready behind her?

  Though she was as tired as she’d ever recalled being, her body was wide awake and yearning for more of him.

  “You feel so good, Ella. So, so good.”

  “You do, too.” Even the rough scrape of his hairy leg against hers was an instant turn-on.

  His hand slid from her belly up to cup her breast, his fingers tweaking her nipple until it was hard and tight.

  “We have to sleep, Gavin.”

  “We will.”

  “When?”

  “After.”

  She was about to ask more questions, but he began to enter her from behind while continuing to keep her tight against him with one arm while his other hand toyed with her nipple. Ella couldn’t seem to breathe as she waited to see what he would do next. He kept up the slow, shallow strokes until she was ready to plead for more. She wanted all of him. She wanted to be possessed by him. She was already addicted to the feel of him deep inside her, the way he stretched her nearly to the point of pain before the pleasure kicked in.

  Grasping his comforter, she pressed back against him, trying to get more, but his tight hold on her made it impossible to do anything other than turn over control to him.

  “Easy, baby,” he whispered, his warm breath against her neck setting off a chain reaction that touched every sensitive part of her. “I’ve got you. Relax and let me love you.”

  Hearing that word from his lips while his body was joined intimately with hers brought tears to her eyes. She blinked furiously, trying to contain that which could not be contained. Her heart was about to burst from the surge of emotion. She hadn’t known it was possible to feel so much.

  He kept up the small, maddening movements until she was prepared to beg if need be to move things along. Before she could do that, however, he grasped her hips and turned them so she was under him, thrusting into her fully in one deep stroke that triggered her orgasm.

  She cried out from the powerful release.

  “Yes, baby, let me hear you.” Gavin rode her release until her body stopped quaking and then held still inside her, still hard. He peppered her back with kisses and began to move again, slowly at first and then faster until he, too, was coming in a last deep surge. “Now I can sleep.” Kissing her back again, he withdrew and got up to use the bathroom. He returned with a washcloth that he used to clean her up.

  Her face was still wet from her tears, which he couldn’t see. It was just as well. He didn’t need to know what an emotional wreck she was.

  He again gathered her in close to him, his hand caressing her arm. “Hey, El?”

  “Hmm?”

  “I just want you to know . . . I’ve laughed more, smiled more, felt more in the last two days than I have in the last seven years. I thought you should know that.”

  She couldn’t contain the sob that escaped from her tightly clenched jaw.

  Gavin moved quickly, arranging her under him so he could kiss the tears from her face. “What’s this? What’s wrong?”

  “Nothing is wrong. Everything is perfect.”

  “Then why the tears?” he asked as he brushed them away.

  “Emotional overload.”

  “It feels good, though, doesn’t it?”

  “It feels so good. So incredibly good.”

  He bent his head to kiss her, giving her gentle strokes of his tongue before withdrawing slowly. “Don’t cry, Ella. I can’t bear to see tears on your gorgeous face.”

  “Can’t help it. They’re happy tears.”

  “I suppose I can live with happy tears.” He moved to his side and brought her with him, settling her into the crook of his arm and neck where she could breathe in the appealing scent of his cologne.

  Ella wanted to stay awake and enjoy every second of being close to him this way, but she could no longer fight the exhaustion that dragged her under.

  * * *

  She awoke to darkness, an empty bed and uncertainty about where she was until the events of last night swept through her mind to remind her that she was in Gavin’s bed. But where was he?

  The scent of coffee wafted into the bedroom along with the low hum of the TV.

  What the hell time was it? A glance at the bedside table clock indicated it was just after six. An ungodly hour to be awake.

  She dragged herself out of bed and into the bathroom to brush her teeth and use the facilities. Then she stumbled back into the bedroom in search of the clothes he’d made her remove the night before. Thinking about that and what had followed made Ella’s body tingle as she got dressed.

  He was an amazing lover, but then she’d always known he would be. Before now, before him, sex had never been particularly enthralling for her. But with him, she could easily become addicted to the way he made her feel every time he touched her.

  Still, hovering beneath the surface of her happiness, was that tingle of fear. By going all in, by giving him everything, she was fully exposed. If it didn’t work out, if something happened . . . No. She couldn’t go there. She wouldn’t. Not when she was determined to enjoy this time with him after wanting him for so long.

  With her resolve back in place, she stepped out of the bedroom to find him standing in the kitchen, mug of coffee in hand, dressed in another pair of well-worn jeans and a blue flannel shirt, rolled up to reveal the long-sleeved thermal he wore under it. He looked at her with satisfaction and possessiveness in his gaze. “Morning. Did I wake you?”

  “No.” She went to him and wrapped an arm around his waist, noticing his hair was still damp from a shower she’d slept through. “Did you sleep?”

  “Yeah, I slept great. You?”

  “Same.”

  He put down the mug and wrapped his arms around her. “Good. I want you well rested for tonight.”

  “What’s tonight?”

  “More of the same.” Kissing her, he let his hands wander down to cup her ass, drawing her in tight against his instant erection. “You’ve got me completely addicted to being inside you.”

  It was a good thing he was holding her so tightly or she might’ve dissolved into a puddle on the floor. “I’m feeling rather addicted myself.”

  “Good problem to have.”

  “A very good problem.”

  “Coffee?”

  “Please.”

  He poured her a mug and dished up some eggs and toast for her.

  “And here I thought I’d already seen the outer limits of your culinary talents,” she said, taking a seat at the bar to enjoy her breakfast.

  “I like to surprise you.”

  “You do surprise me.”

  He leaned on the counter, closing the space between them. “How so?”

  “You tried to warn me away. You tried so hard to scare me off. And since you failed so miserably, I keep wondering what you were so afraid of.”

  After a long look down at his coffee, he shifted his gaze to meet hers. “I’m in a good place right now, largely thanks to you. But the dark moods come on me when I least expect them, and sometimes they last awhile.”

  “Maybe they won’t come back if you’re happy.”

  “We can hope not, but they always seem to come back, no matter what I do.”

  Ella put down her fork and pushed her half-finished breakfast aside. “I’m not afraid of the dark, Gavin.”

  “You haven’t seen the dark. How can you know that?”

  She reached across the counter for his hand. “Last night, you said you’ve been happier in the last few days than you’ve ever been. I have been, too. I’m not going to run away the second things get difficult or challenging.”

  “I don’t expect yo
u to put up with me when I’m dealing with that.”

  “I want to put up with you all the time—good, bad, ugly. I’m here, and I’m not going anywhere. Unless you want me to.”

  He bent his head over their joined hands, bringing hers to his lips. “I want you right here with me, which still makes me feel selfish at times.”

  “Why would you feel selfish when I’m exactly where I’ve always wanted to be?”

  “You’re so open and honest. Does it ever scare you to have so much on the line?”

  After he’d just complimented her honesty, she couldn’t very well lie to him. “Yeah, it does. Sometimes. But then you hold me and kiss me and make love to me, and the fear becomes so secondary to how I feel when I’m close to you.”

  “How do you feel?”

  “Overwhelmed in the best possible way. Thrilled to finally have a chance to see what this could be. Hopeful for both of us. Madly, completely and utterly turned on, like I’ve never been before.”

  “Those are all good things.”

  “Yes, they are, and they make the fear easier to handle.”

  “I don’t want you to be afraid.”

  “Goes with the territory. Any time we put our hearts on the line for something so important, a little fear is to be expected.”

  “For the second day in a row I have no desire to go to work and every desire to spend this day with you.”

  “That’s what weekends are for.”

  He kissed her hand again before releasing it. “How many more days until the weekend?”

  “Four.”

  “That’s a lifetime.”

  “You’ll survive.”

  “I’m not sure I will.” With a deep sigh he turned away from her, rinsed out his mug and left it to dry on a dish towel. “Can you be ready to head into town in a few minutes?”

  “Yep.” While he went into the bedroom, she finished her coffee and took her plate to the sink to wash it. She was drying it when the invitation to Dylan’s wedding caught her eye on the counter. Glancing over her shoulder to make sure Gavin was still in the bedroom, Ella picked up the RSVP card and saw that he had checked the “Sending Regrets” box but obviously hadn’t mailed it yet.