It's Only Love Page 9

  If a more perfectly beautiful man ever existed, Ella had never met him. She took a step closer to him, laying her hands on his chest inside the shirt and feeling his heart beat every bit as rapidly as hers.

  His hands framed her face, and he looked at her. “I don’t deserve you, Ella.”

  “Don’t say that. You deserve to be happy.”

  “You can do better.”

  “I don’t want anyone else. I’ve never wanted anyone else.”

  “It makes me feel lucky to hear you say that.”

  “I’m glad.”

  “I want you to feel lucky, too, that you took this chance on me. I don’t want to disappoint you.”

  “Then don’t.”

  “I’m going to try really hard not to.”

  “That’s all I can ask for.”

  His hands dropped from her face to her shoulders to remove her robe. It billowed to the floor, a cloud of ivory silk.

  The nightgown she wore under it ended at midthigh, and Gavin took a long, slow look at what he’d uncovered. He dragged his index fingers over her collarbone before hooking them under the straps of her gown.

  Ella wondered if he could see the pounding pulse point in her throat. Her question was answered when he leaned forwarded to touch his tongue to the spot in her neck that throbbed for him. Her legs wobbled under her. She was never going to survive this if that was all it took for her to go weak in the knees.

  His hands followed the fall of the straps down her arms, leaving a trail of goose bumps behind.

  She reached for the button on his jeans, but he stopped her.

  “Tonight is all about you, Ella.”

  “It should be about us.”

  “Next time.”

  Her hands fell to her sides in surrender, his tenderness her undoing. This man had owned her heart for so long. Now he wanted to own her body, too. Little did he know, she’d give him everything if only he’d let her.

  The gown dropped to her waist and then to the floor, leaving her bared to him except for matching panties.

  He took a step back, his hands on her shoulders, his gaze taking a perusing trip from her face to her breasts and below before coming back up. “Beautiful.”

  She’d never felt more beautiful than she did standing before him, waiting to see what he would do next. A hint of trepidation worked its way down her spine, acting as a reminder that if it all went bad after this, there’d be no bouncing back. She’d never get over him.

  Gavin dropped to his knees before her, pressing his lips to her belly and making her body sing with pleasure and anticipation. His hands slid up the back of her legs to her bottom, where he squeezed and molded her cheeks before pulling her in closer to him.

  She gripped handfuls of his hair to keep from falling over.

  For the longest time, he was still, holding her tight against him, his breath warm against the sensitive skin of her abdomen. He held on to her as if she were a lifeline, keeping him anchored.

  She wanted to be that for him. She wanted to be everything to him.

  He picked her up, effortlessly, and settled her on the edge of the bed. “Lie back.”

  Since he’d knocked her breathless by lifting her the way he had, she focused on continuing to breathe as she did what he asked. Her legs were trembling madly and her entire body was on fire for him. All that, and he’d barely touched her. Then his hands were on her legs, sliding them apart as he dropped to his knees again and settled between them.

  Good God . . .

  With his hands cupping her bottom, he drew her to the edge of the mattress and buried his face in the V of her legs, breathing deeply, breathing her in. “You have no idea how often I’ve dreamed of being right here.” His gruff whisper, the scratch of his whiskers, the heat of his breath . . . It was too much. It wasn’t enough. “Even when I was pushing you away, I wanted to take you by the hand and drag you to the closest bed. You have no idea how badly I wanted that.”

  Hearing those words from him brought tears to Ella’s eyes. Knowing he’d wanted her every bit as much . . . It made the difficult months leading up to this moment seem somehow more bearable.

  He grasped her panties and dragged them down over her legs, tossing them aside before returning to his perch between her legs. His palms were flat against her thighs, his calluses rough against her skin. “So soft and so hot. You’ve had me wound up in knots for so long, Ella Abbott.”

  Moved by his words and the emotion she heard behind them, she arched her back, hoping he’d take the hint to move things along.

  He did, and oh God, he was good. Thrusting his fingers deep inside her, he drew her clit into his mouth and sucked hard.

  Ella detonated, her body seized by the most powerful orgasm she’d ever experienced. She might’ve screamed from the pleasure that ripped through her. And then he did it again, bringing her down and back up so quickly, she barely had time to recover from the first one before the second was upon her.

  He stood and then came down over her, kissing her with lips and a tongue that tasted like her. It was all so earthy and erotic and everything she’d hoped it would be. She wanted to cry from the sweet relief, the pleasure and the hope that beat through her with every breath she took.

  The scent of his cologne filled her senses, making her want to bury her nose in his neck and just breathe him in because she could.

  But he had other ideas. Producing a condom, he dropped his pants and rolled it on, looking down at her all the while, seeming to gauge her readiness.

  She was so ready. She’d been born ready for this man. Ella opened her arms to him, welcoming him into her body, her life, her heart, her soul. Everything she had was his to take.

  Still watching her, he pressed into her. It had been a while since she last had sex, so the pinch of pain wasn’t unexpected.

  “Mmm, so tight and hot.”

  He went slowly, entering and withdrawing in small increments until her body began to yield to him. Bending over her, he drew her nipple into his mouth, sucking and licking it without losing a beat in the slow progression below.

  She ran her fingers through his hair and wrapped her legs around his hips, still wanting to pinch herself that this was happening. She was making love with Gavin Guthrie. Best. Moment. Of. Her. Life. Someday maybe she’d tell him that making love to him had been the best moment of her life. For now, she wanted to relax and enjoy what had been such a long time coming.

  His eyes opened, his gaze crashing into hers. That was when she knew he felt it, too—the enormity, the magnitude of what they were finally doing. He pushed into her, this time giving her everything he had, making her moan from the incredible feeling of being filled completely by the man she loved.

  For the longest time, he didn’t move as their bodies came together, throbbing and pulsing in time with each other.

  She was on the verge of begging him to move, to do something, when he began to withdraw from her as slowly as he entered. Then he slammed back in, triggering another orgasm for her.

  “Christ,” he muttered, unleashed by her reaction. He pounded into her, one hand gripping her shoulder, the other cupping her bottom as he let loose. It was as if all the boiling frustration of the last few months had never happened. Frustration had been replaced by passion unlike anything she could’ve dreamed—and her dreams had been rather vivid where Gavin was concerned.

  “Ella.” Her name was like an oath, uttered in desperation. “Come with me. Come with me.”

  “Yes, Gavin . . .” She met him stroke for stroke, giving herself over to the moment, the love, the need, the craving desire. With every deep stroke he was ruining her for all other men. She knew it, and she didn’t care. There’d never been anyone but him for her anyway. Now she had proof.

  “El . . . Now. I can’t . . .” He came hard, pressing deep inside her, his fingers digging in
to her flesh as he let go, taking her with him into another epic release.

  That had never happened before. She was lucky to come once during sex, let alone twice.

  Gavin came down on top of her, warm and sweaty and breathing hard.

  Ella wrapped her arms around him, wanting to stay right here in this perfect moment forever. For once, she wasn’t yearning for something—or someone—she couldn’t have. Everything she’d ever wanted was right here in her arms, and he seemed as happy to be there as she was to have him.

  “Am I crushing you?” he asked.

  “Not at all.”

  “You okay?”

  “I’m great. You?”

  He lifted his head to kiss her. “I’m fantastic.”

  Ella smiled up at him. It was great to hear him say that in light of his recent state of mind.

  He kissed her again, nipping at her bottom lip.

  She wrapped her hand around his nape to keep him there, opening her mouth to his tongue. After having a taste of him, she was hungry for more. She had a big week coming up at work with the staff retreat on Friday night and the subsequent kickoff of the holiday shopping season. They really ought to blow out the candles and go to sleep or she’d be a wreck tomorrow.

  But with Gavin Guthrie naked in her bed and throbbing inside her, sleep was the very last thing on her mind.

  CHAPTER 9

  The only cure for grief is action.

  —George Henry Lewes

  It had been a very long time since Gavin had felt as good as he did lying in Ella’s arms after making love to her for the first time. The spinning had stopped, the sickening despair was gone and what remained was a tiny kernel of hope that wanted to bloom into something strong and lasting.

  She was like an oasis, offering him things he hadn’t known he needed. Her sweet softness was a welcome respite from the hell his life had become.

  The stroke of her fingers through his hair soothed and calmed the restlessness he carried with him always.

  “Gav?”

  “Hmm?”

  “Can I ask you something that’s none of my business?”

  “Sure.”

  “Why aren’t you going to Dylan’s wedding?”

  The question took him by surprise, and he had no idea how to reply in a way that she would understand. “Work is so busy. It’s hard for me to get away.”

  “Surely you have someone you could leave in charge for a few days.”

  “I suppose, but I’d be stressed out worrying about it the whole time I was gone, so why bother going?”

  “Because your good friend is getting married, and he wants you there?”

  Gavin already felt guilty enough about declining the invitation to Dylan’s wedding. How could he explain that Dylan was really Caleb’s friend, and the only reason he’d been invited was because he was Caleb’s brother? “I’d love to be there.” He said what she needed to hear, because the truth was too painful to discuss, especially when he was feeling so damned good for a change. “Dylan understands about the business and how hard it is for me to get away.”

  “Hmm.”

  “What does that mean?”

  “Nothing, I’m just listening.”

  “Why do I feel like there’s so much more you want to say?”

  She didn’t say anything for a long time. And then . . . “It’s just, I wonder . . .”

  “What do you wonder?”

  “What’s the point of being self-employed if you can’t do what you want once in a while?”

  “You’re self-employed. Do you get to do whatever you want?”

  “For the most part. We try to respect the fact that we have nice jobs and are fortunate to work for ourselves. We don’t take advantage, but no one is hanging over our shoulders making sure we do our jobs. Hunter wants us there on time in the morning because it sets the right example for the sales force, and we agree with that. As much as we love the store and working for the family business, we have lives outside of work that we love just as much. It’s called balance. You need to get some if you feel like you can’t take a week off once in a while.”

  She made good points, and they were things he’d certainly thought of himself. However, work brought a rhythm to his days that he badly needed to stay on track. The thought of a week without work made him twitchy and nervous. If he hadn’t had his business to focus on over the last seven years, he’d probably be institutionalized by now.

  As much as he loved the way he felt when he was around her, especially now that they’d made love, she was the one mirror he couldn’t avoid. She saw him so clearly. His bullshit didn’t stand a chance against those insightful brown eyes that studied him so knowingly.

  Grasping the base of the condom, he withdrew from her carefully.

  “Bathroom’s in there,” she said, pointing to a closed door.

  “Thanks.” He went into the bathroom, disposed of the condom and washed up, avoiding the mirror over the sink. Her insightfulness unsettled him and made him aware of how tuned into him she really was. It was becoming painfully obvious to him that if they were going to do this, really give it an honest chance, he wasn’t going to be able to get away with the old tricks. His artful dodger routine wasn’t going to fly with Ella.

  He wet a washcloth and brought it back to the bedroom. Sitting on the edge of the bed, he let his gaze take a perusing journey from her long legs to her flat abdomen to her small but perky breasts to her gorgeous face and the eyes that watched him so closely.

  Gavin held up the washcloth. “May I?”

  In a move so sexy, so innocent and so utterly captivating, she inched her feet apart, exposing herself to him. He forced himself to stay focused on the task at hand, even though he was already hard again for her. She was so damned gorgeous and sexy and the way she cared about him was a huge turn-on, even if it forced him to confront his deepest demons.

  When he was done, he tossed the washcloth aside and climbed back into bed with her, wanting her close to him.

  Apparently she wanted the same thing. Wrapped up in her, with her arms and legs around him, he felt himself falling into the soft, safe place she’d given him to land. “Ella . . .”

  “Hmm . . .”

  “You, this . . . It feels so good.”

  “Yes, it does. I want you to feel good, Gavin.” She kissed him, and without breaking the kiss, he brought her with him when he moved to his back, loving the feel of her on top of him. The squeeze of her flat belly against his hard cock made him breathless with the need for more of her.

  She broke the kiss and shifted ever so slightly on top of him, kissing his face, jaw, neck and throat, biting down on a tendon in his neck that made him want to howl from the jolt of pure pleasure that ripped through him. Then her tongue found his nipple, and he nearly levitated right out of bed when she brought her teeth into the act.

  God, he was never going to survive her.

  She continued a path downward, giving each muscle in his abdomen individual attention that had him clinging to his sanity. By the time she wrapped her hand around his cock he was prepared to beg her for relief. No begging was needed, however, when she dragged her tongue around the head, cleaning up the moisture that had formed during her slow, sexy seduction.

  As she licked and sucked and stroked him exactly the right way, it occurred to Gavin that she’d obviously done this before—a thought that made him see red from the rage of imagining her touching another man the way she touched him. It was irrational, he knew, to think he was first, but God, the thought of her with any other guy was unbearable.

  Then she took him deep into her throat, clearing his mind of every thought other than the most important one. This was going to be over—fast—if she kept that up. He grasped handfuls of her shiny dark hair. “El, honey . . . Ella.”

  She dragged her lips up his shaft, addi
ng just enough suction and tongue action to nearly finish him off. His cock popped free, and she looked up at him with big brown eyes and lips swollen from taking him into her mouth. He had never, in all his life, seen anything sexier than the way she looked right in that moment.

  “What’s wrong?” she asked.

  “Absolutely nothing. Come here.” He held out his arms to her, and she crawled into his embrace.

  “Why did you stop me?”

  “I don’t want to come in your mouth.”

  “Why not? I wouldn’t have minded.”

  Gavin blew out a sharp, deep breath. No, he definitely did not deserve this woman, but for right now, for as long as she’d have him, she was his and he planned to fully enjoy every minute with her. “I’d much rather be inside you when that happens.”

  “Condom?”

  “Back pocket of my jeans.”

  She kissed him again. “Let me up.”

  He let her go, reluctant to let her leave him even for the moment it would take to retrieve the condom. But he fully enjoyed watching her move around in the nude. He loved that she seemed comfortable in her body and didn’t try to hide herself from him.

  She turned to find him watching her, and a delightful flush colored her pale white skin. “What’re you looking at?”

  “You.”

  Holding up the other three condoms he’d brought, Ella came back to bed and returned to her roost on top of him. Using her teeth to tear open the wrapper, she held him in her thrall as she rolled the condom down over his hard cock. She came this close to finishing him off with the slow, seductive way she let the condom unfurl.

  He gritted his teeth and tried to summon the control he needed for her. It had been a long time since he’d been with anyone, and he’d never been with any woman who mattered as much as this one did. He wanted to be what she needed in all ways—in the bedroom and outside it. Coming before she was ready was not what either of them needed.

  Gavin reached for her.

  She dodged him. “You had your turn. Now it’s mine.”