Butler, Vermont Series Boxed Set, Books 1-3 Page 15

  “Even when you’re in New York and I’m way up here?”

  “Even then.”

  “I’m going to miss you like crazy.”

  “I’ll miss you, too.”

  “Could I come visit you and Simone?”

  “I wish you would.”

  “I will. As soon as possible.”

  “I should go back to the Abbotts’.”

  “Not yet,” he said, tightening his hold on her. “I’m not ready to let you go.”

  “We can’t fall asleep here.”

  “We won’t.”

  Because she wasn’t ready to let him go yet either, Emma relaxed into his embrace, telling herself a few more minutes of utter perfection wouldn’t hurt anything.

  Hannah woke with a start from a sound sleep, her breasts tingling from the dream she’d had that the baby was crying.

  “What’s the matter?” Nolan asked, his voice thick with sleep from his post in the recliner next to her hospital bed.

  “I need to check on her.”

  “You checked her an hour ago. She’s fine. The nurses will let you know if she needs you.”

  “I have to see for myself.”

  Thankfully, he seemed to understand that there’d be no sleeping—or peace—until she was pacified. Groaning, he dragged himself out of the chair and rubbed his hands over his face before holding up the robe he’d brought her from home and wrapping her up in it.

  Nolan held her hand as they walked to the NICU where they spent five full minutes washing their hands. Then he helped her into the gown and shoe covers everyone was required to wear to gain entrance.

  “Back so soon?” one of the overnight nurses asked when they went in.

  “I just wanted to check on her,” Hannah said.

  “Of course. She’s feisty, that little one.”

  “Like her mother,” Nolan said dryly, drawing laughs from both women.

  Hannah gazed down at her tiny daughter, drinking in every detail for the thousandth time. She never got tired of looking at her. Callie’s lips moved in her sleep, the same way her daddy’s did. Hannah loved that she already saw similarities between the baby and Nolan. She stared at her, watching the rise and fall of her little chest and marveling at the miracle of her

  “You ought to sleep while you can, Mom,” the nurse said.

  “That’s what I say, too,” Nolan said, yawning.

  “One more minute.” Though every inch of Hannah’s body hurt from the delivery, her aches and pains were secondary to the overwhelming joy of finally being a mother to such a sweet little girl.

  Baby Callie. Her daughter. She was a mom! Had anything ever been more exciting than that?

  “You need to rest, sweetheart,” Nolan said.

  “I’m too excited to sleep. All I want to do is look at her.”

  “I love seeing you so happy.”

  “I’m so happy. I feel like my heart is going to burst or something. Are you happy, too?”

  “Hannah… How can you ask me that?”

  “Just making sure.”

  He kissed the top of her head. “I was over the moon to have you, but having her, too, is just… It’s everything. She’s everything. You are everything.”

  “Thank you for her and for her name. That was the single-best idea you’ve ever had, and it’ll make a lot of people very happy.”

  “I don’t even remember having the idea, only that we needed to name the baby for Caleb, one way or the other.”

  “It’s perfect. And it’ll be even more perfect when Hunter gets home and can meet his new niece.”

  “How many times did he call today?”

  “Three,” Hannah said with a sheepish smile.

  Nolan tugged on her hand. “Come on. Let’s get you back to bed.”

  She took a long last look at her precious daughter and then let him lead her from the NICU.

  He kept his arm around her as they walked back to Hannah’s room. She was due to be discharged tomorrow, but the baby would be here for a while yet.

  “Come sleep next to me,” she said when she was settled in bed.

  “You’re so sore, babe. I’d be afraid I’d hurt you somehow.”

  “I can’t sleep right without you next to me.”

  “All right, then.”

  He snuggled up to her, his leg slipping between hers and his hard cock pressing against her backside.

  “Um, what’s going on back there?”

  “Same thing that always goes on when you’re next to me. Do we really have to wait six more weeks?”

  Hannah groaned at the thought of having sex any time soon. “I hope that’s all it takes.”

  “I’m teasing. I still can’t believe what you did in that delivery room. You amazed me.”

  “I couldn’t have done it without you there with me.”

  “I didn’t do anything.”

  “You certainly did, too. You kept me from giving up when it got too hard.”

  “You were the star. I was a supporting character.”

  “Whatever you say. I know the truth. And by the way, I’m going to want to have another one right away.” Hannah surprised herself with that pronouncement and apparently him, too, because he went totally still behind her.

  “Define ‘right away.’”

  “As soon as we can. We’re already thirty-six. We got a late start, and I don’t want Callie to grow up alone. I can’t imagine life without my siblings.”

  “You’re not considering having ten kids, by any chance, are you?”

  “No! Oh my God. No way. Two would be perfect.”

  “I can do two.”

  “Excellent, so you’d be willing to knock me up again ASAP?”

  “If I must,” he said with a long-suffering sigh that made her giggle.

  “You’re a good sport.”

  “I do what I can for the people.”

  “People? What people?”

  “You and only you, of course.”

  “Good answer.” Hannah yawned, and her eyes closed.

  “Sleep, Hannah. You’re going to be needed again very soon.”

  “Mmm, I can’t wait for her to wake up and need me.”

  Chapter 16

  At the touch of love everyone becomes a poet.

  —Plato

  Emma woke to total darkness and cozy warmth that she quickly realized was coming from Grayson sleeping next to her. They’d fallen asleep. Again! Damn it! “Grayson.” She nudged him. “Gray, wake up.”

  “Oh crap.”

  “Exactly. We’ve got to go.”

  “Not yet.” His arm around her kept her from getting out of bed. “Five more minutes of this. Please?”

  “It’s really late.”

  “They’re sound asleep and will never know what time you came home.”

  Knowing he was right, Emma forced herself to relax ever so slightly. She didn’t want to go any more than he wanted to let her.

  “If I could have anything I wanted, I’d want to keep you and Simone here with me.”

  His words were like a balm on the wound opening in her heart. “Thank you for telling me that.”

  “Would you even consider moving? Your sister is here. I’m here… I know it’s crazy and too soon, but would you think about it? Simone loves it here.”

  “I know she does. I do, too.” Emma sighed. “Our whole life is there, though.”

  “Lives can be moved.”

  “It’s hard for me to explain how important my network is to me and to making it possible for Simone to do the things all the other kids do. Not to mention, my job, health insurance, my dad…”

  “I know it all seems insurmountable right now, and under normal circumstances, I never would’ve brought it up so soon. But these aren’t normal circumstances. We’ve found something here that I’ve never had with anyone else.”

  “I haven’t either,” she said softly.

  “The thought of letting the two of you leave later today makes me feel sick.”

&
nbsp; “It makes me feel sick to think about leaving.”

  “I haven’t done anything here that can’t be undone, so I’m not opposed to moving to New York.”

  “You just left another city to move home. Your whole family is here.”

  “If I got to be with you, I’d move, Emma. I’m not just saying that.”

  Her eyes burned with tears. He made her want things she’d never thought she’d have, not in a million years. “Could we… maybe… take a little more time before we make any big decisions?”

  “We can do whatever you want. I’m not going anywhere except to New York to see you next weekend.”

  “Next weekend?”

  “If I make it that long.”

  Just that quickly, her sorrow turned to joy at knowing she would see him again—soon.

  “I’ll get a hotel. Don’t worry. We’ll keep it all on the up-and-up for Simone.”

  “Don’t get a hotel. Stay with us. We’ll make sure you’re back on the sofa by the morning.”

  “Are you sure?”

  “Yes!” She laughed. “I’m very, very sure.”

  “Are we being ridiculous for diving all-in to this so soon?”

  “Probably.”

  “All I know is I’m way past the point in my life where I have any desire to play games.”

  “I never got to have that stage. I had to grow up awfully fast.”

  “I want to give you everything you’ve never had.”

  “Grayson…”

  “Too much?”

  “You’re making my heart beat fast.”

  He laid his hand over her rapidly beating heart. “I’ve never made anyone’s heart beat fast.”

  “Now you have.” She covered his hand with hers. “We should go.”

  “I know,” he said, but he made no move to let her go. Rather, he moved them so he was above her, gazing down at her with so much emotion that Emma couldn’t process it all. Then he kissed her, making her forget about the late hour, her impending departure, the question he’d asked her and everything other than the pleasure she found in his arms.

  He made slow, sweet, sexy love to her, as if they had all the time in the world rather than only a few hours before they would go their separate ways. For now, anyway.

  She wished she could bottle the way he made her feel when he touched her. He loved her with unrestrained passion that he didn’t try to hide or mask as anything other than exactly what it was. The raw emotion she saw in his expression touched her deeply and had her clinging to him when she came harder than she ever had before. He was right there with her, holding her tight against him as he lost himself in her. It was, without a doubt, one of the most beautiful moments she’d ever experienced.

  His lips brushing her cheek made her aware of tears that she hadn’t known were there. “Don’t cry, sweet Emma. We’re going to figure this out. Now that I’ve found you, I’m not letting you go.”

  With her arms around him, she held on tight to his assurances. “I have to get back to the Abbotts’.”

  “I know.”

  She felt his reluctance as he withdrew from her and helped her up. They took a hot shower together and got dressed in silence, the weight of the intense intimacy they’d shared hanging over them as they ventured into the predawn darkness. By then, it was after four o’clock, and Emma felt ridiculously guilty for staying out so late.

  “I’m sure you’re worried about offending my aunt and uncle, but after having raised ten children, there’s literally nothing that surprises them anymore.”

  “I’d never want to take advantage of their hospitality.”

  “You haven’t. Don’t worry. They’re super cool. They’d never think a thing of it. Besides, my uncle and grandfather have made it their mission in life to see us all married off. If that were to happen with us, they’d find a way to take full credit.”

  His use of the word married in relation to them did crazy things to her insides, which were already a jumbled mess of emotion after the night she’d spent with him.

  “I’ll pick up you and Simone around nine, okay?”

  “Will that give us enough time to make a two o’clock flight in Burlington?”

  “More than enough.”

  “You don’t have to walk me in,” Emma said after they pulled into the driveway at the barn. “Go get some sleep.”

  He raised his hand to her face and leaned across the console to kiss her. “I wish you could’ve stayed all night.”

  “Me, too.”

  “I’ll see you soon.” He kissed her one more time, lingering, letting her know he didn’t want to let her go.

  Emma pulled back, smiled at him and opened the door to an icy blast. She jogged the short distance to the mudroom door and ducked inside, feeling like the naughty teenager she’d once been, sneaking into her parents’ home long after curfew. Thankfully, the dogs were upstairs with Linc and Molly and didn’t hear her come in.

  She stepped into the kitchen and came to an abrupt stop at the sight of Max, seated at the kitchen table, giving baby Caden a bottle, a gentle lullaby playing on Max’s cell phone. “Oh, um… Hi, Max.”

  “Hey.”

  Emma’s face burned with mortification. “I… um…”

  “No worries,” he said with a chuckle. “I won’t tell Mom and Dad.”

  “This is so embarrassing.”

  “I trust you had a nice time with Grayson.”

  “Ahhh, yeah.” Could a person actually expire from humiliation? “We had a nice time.”

  “He’s a good guy. One of the best guys I know. He was very helpful to me after Caden was born.”

  “That’s, um, good to know.”

  “Could I ask you something that’s none of my business?”

  “Sure,” Emma said, wondering what was on his mind.

  “When you first had Simone and knew you’d be raising her on your own, were you scared?”

  Emma’s heart went out to him as she took a seat at the table. “Terrified.”

  “I don’t know if I can do it.”

  “Yes, you can. You absolutely can. You have this amazing family all around you. They’d do anything for you and Caden. You can do this, Max. Will it be easy? No. It’ll be the hardest thing you ever do, but it’ll also be the most rewarding. I didn’t plan to have Simone when I did, but with hindsight, I wouldn’t change a thing. She’s the best thing to ever happen to me, and he will be for you, too. I know it.”

  “He is pretty great,” Max said, gazing down at his son sleeping in his arms.

  “You can’t believe this now, but it’ll go by so fast. He’ll be almost ten before you know what happened. And another thing—he won’t always be as needy as he is now. Before long, he’ll be able to do a lot of things for himself, and you’ll feel like you can breathe again.”

  “That’s very helpful. Thank you.”

  “Any time. I’ll give you my number. You call me any time you need to talk.”

  “That’s really nice of you.”

  “I remember being right where you are, and I know how you feel. You’re not alone in this. Caden is so lucky to have a dad who cares so much about getting it right.”

  “That’s all I want—is to get it right and to make sure he has the best possible life.”

  “If those are your goals, you’re already a wonderful dad.”

  “You really think so?”

  His insecurity was so very endearing. “I know so.” She picked up his cell phone from the table and added her number to his contacts. “You call me any time you need a single-parent friend. Okay?”

  “I will. Thank you so much, Emma.”

  “Happy to help, and thanks for not ratting me out to Mom and Dad,” she said with a wink.

  “If you only knew the secrets I’ve kept in this house. You think it’s easy being the youngest of ten?”

  “You wear it well. I’m going to bed.” She nodded to Caden. “Looks like you’re good to go for a while, too. Sleep when he does.”

>   “That’s what everyone says.”

  “Night, Max.”

  “Night.”

  Emma crept up the stairs and peeked into Simone’s room to check on her before going to her own room and closing the door, breathing a sigh of relief not to have encountered Molly or Lincoln.

  As she got ready for bed, she thought about her conversation with Max as well as the night she’d spent with Grayson, the things he’d said, how he wished she and Simone could move to Vermont. It was funny how that never would’ve crossed her mind until she came for Christmas, met Colton’s incredible cousin and had her orderly little world turned upside down.

  She tiptoed across the hall to use the bathroom and brush her teeth, finally breathing easier when she was tucked into the comfortable bed in Hannah’s old room. Sleep proved elusive, however, as she allowed herself to entertain the tempting fantasy that Grayson had suggested. They could move to Vermont. She could find another job here. The Abbotts and Colemans knew everyone. Surely they could help her find something. They would have Lucy back in their daily lives, along with Colton and his big family.

  And they would have Grayson… The very thought of spending every day with him, having him act as a father to Simone, sleeping next to him every night and making sweet, sexy love with him whenever she wanted… Even after knowing him less than a week, she already knew she’d do anything to make that fantasy a reality.

  But when she thought about her dad, alone in the city while both his daughters were six hours away, her fantasy crashed back to earth. She couldn’t leave him. She wouldn’t leave him. It would break his heart not to be able to see Simone any time he wanted and vice versa. Emma couldn’t do that to either of them.

  Her heart ached as the fantasy slipped out of reach. Not only did she have her dad to consider, but her job and the benefits it provided that gave her peace of mind, the support network that had taken years to cultivate… The life that had been lonely at times but mostly satisfying didn’t look quite so satisfying post-Grayson Coleman.

  She couldn’t let that happen. She couldn’t allow a few days with a sexy, wonderful man to color her perception of the life she’d worked so hard to build for herself and Simone.

  Emma tossed and turned and tried to find a position that was anywhere near as comfortable as she’d been sleeping in Grayson’s arms. At some point, she must’ve dozed off, because she woke to sunlight streaming through the window and realized she’d forgotten to draw the blinds during her early morning sneak-in. Tears pooled in her eyes that couldn’t be blamed entirely on the ruthless glare of the sun.