Every Little Thing: Butler, Vermont Series, Book 1 Page 10

  He couldn’t let her and Simone leave and have this be over. No way. Not after what he’d shared with Emma during this momentous day and week. They had to find a way to keep it going, even if they had enormous obstacles standing between them and any sort of happily ever after.

  Did he want that? Did he want a happily ever after? He’d never really cared about such things until the possibility of such a thing included Emma and Simone. They made for an incredibly attractive package, and the idea of a ready-made family with a nine-year-old was fine with him, seeing as he’d already helped raise his younger siblings and had no burning desire to have his own kids—or at least he’d never had that burning desire before.

  “What’re you thinking about?” Emma asked in a sexy, sleepy-sounding voice.

  “About how you rocked my world.”

  “I rocked your world? How about what you did to mine?”

  “What did I do to yours?”

  “Rocked is too small a word for it.”

  “Is that right?” he asked, inordinately pleased to hear he wasn’t the only one who’d been thoroughly rocked.

  “Mmm, that’s right.”

  “I’m also thinking about what happens after you and Simone go home.”

  “What do you see happening?”

  “I don’t know, but I’m already certain this won’t be enough. Not even close to enough.”

  “We’re kind of in a tough spot here.”

  “So it would seem.” He paused before he shared a thought he’d had only in passing. “Nothing says I have to open a practice here.”

  Her eyes flew open. “But that’s your plan.”

  He shrugged. “Plans change, and all I’ve done so far is start to look for office space in Butler. I could just as easily look for a job in New York. I’m already licensed in both Vermont and New York, so I can work in either place.”

  “But is that what you want?”

  “I’m finding that what I want is changing by the hour.” He continued to caress her soft skin as they talked, which was how he felt her shiver.

  “Are you cold?”

  “No… I’m… overwhelmed.”

  “Too much too soon?”

  “Of course it is,” she said with a husky laugh. “It’s way too much way too soon, but you won’t hear me complaining. This has been… It’s been amazing.”

  “Same here. I’ve never done anything quite like this.”

  “Like what? Jumping into bed with someone you only just met?”

  “That, but the rest of it, too. I never talk about my father—with anyone—and you’ve gotten me to talk about him several times. I didn’t even hesitate before sharing the whole ugly tale with you. That’s not something I do.”

  “Same with the stuff I’ve shared with you.”

  “This is way more than an off-the-charts physical attraction for me, Emma.”

  “It is for me, too.”

  “So what now?”

  Her deep sigh answered for her.

  “Do we try to make it work and see what happens, or do we say it was a great week and leave it at that?” Grayson asked.

  “What do you want?”

  “You’re answering my question with a question,” he said, tracing the outline of her sexy mouth with his fingertip.

  “If I could have anything I wanted…”

  “What would you want?”

  “This. You. Us. Together. Somehow…”

  “Me, too.”

  “Soooo…”

  “So we’ll give it a whirl and see what happens?”

  “I’m scared to get so involved with you and not have it work out. I’m already in too deep to walk away without it hurting like hell. What’ll happen a few months down the road if it’s not working out—”

  He kissed the words right off her lips. “Let’s not expect it to go bad. Let’s expect it to go right.”

  “If it were just about me, I could do that. But it’s not just about me.”

  “I know that, Emma. I care about Simone, too. When I heard she’d gotten hurt… I couldn’t stand to think of her in that kind of pain. I want to get to know her better and spend time with both of you. That’s all I know right now. I want more.”

  Before she could reply, a whimper came from the next room.

  Grayson released Emma and helped her into the T-shirt she’d tossed over the foot of the bed.

  While she went into the next room, he watched her on the monitor, soothing Simone, who hadn’t woken.

  He got out of bed and found his clothes on the floor.

  By the time Emma returned, he was dressed and sitting on the edge of the bed, waiting for her. “Is she okay?”

  “Just a little restless.”

  Grayson held out his hand to her, inviting her into his embrace. He wrapped his arms around her waist and rested his head against her chest. “I should go downstairs.”

  She held on tighter to him. “Not yet.”

  Powerless to resist the temptation of more time with her, Grayson helped her back into bed, pulled the covers over her and lay on top of the comforter.

  “You’re going to be cold out there.”

  “If I fall asleep, it’ll look better that I’m out here than in there with you if we get caught.”

  “Come in here with me for a little while. I won’t let you fall asleep.”

  “That sounds promising,” he said as he got under the down quilt and snuggled up to her.

  Emma laughed. “Don’t even think about it. I’m surprised I can still walk after this day.”

  Grayson glanced at the bedside clock over her shoulder. “That was yesterday. Today’s a whole new day.”

  “Also known as Emma’s day of recovery from yesterday.”

  “Spoilsport.”

  She placed her hand on his face. “Other than Simone getting hurt, yesterday was one of the best days I’ve ever had.”

  Touched by her sweetness, he said, “It was for me, too.” He gathered her in closer to him, encouraging her to use his chest as a pillow. “You need to sleep so you can tend to your girl in the morning.”

  “I don’t want to sleep when I have to go home in just over twenty-four hours.”

  The thought of her leaving set off an ache deep inside him. “What time is your flight on Friday?”

  “Two, out of Burlington.”

  “I’ll take you over.”

  “You don’t have to. Lucy can do it.”

  “I want to, unless you’d rather have her.”

  “I’d rather have you, not that I don’t love my sister.”

  He kissed her swollen lips. “I’m glad you want me.”

  “I definitely want you.”

  “Are we still talking about rides to the airport?”

  “Of course we are. What else would we be talking about?”

  Grayson laughed at her saucy reply. Everything she said and did appealed to him. He’d never been able to say that about any other woman he’d spent time with. It seemed there was always something that got on his nerves, whether it be an annoying laugh or a fixation on her phone and social media accounts or insane jealousy if he had the audacity to so much as speak to another woman. His dealings with women had been exhausting more than fulfilling, especially with Heather.

  She’d wanted to be married, like right now. The more she’d pushed him to make that commitment to her, the more he’d pulled back from her. The push-pull had ruined what had been a pretty good thing, and when he broke up with her, that was when he saw her true colors.

  With Emma, he already knew there was no hidden agenda or other side to her that would emerge at some point in the future, disappointing him. She really was as sweet and sexy and smart and devoted to her loved ones as she appeared.

  “What do you have planned for today?” he asked.

  “Nothing really. It’ll depend on what Simone feels like doing.”

  “Spend the day with me. I have an idea of something we can do that she’ll love if she feels up to it.”


  “What’s this idea?”

  “A surprise for both of you.”

  “That sounds intriguing.”

  “So yes? We’ll spend the rest of the time we have left together?”

  “Mmm,” she said, sounding sleepy. “That’s a yes, Grayson.”

  * * *

  They’d tried to stop Hannah’s early labor, but the baby was determined to arrive now despite the best efforts of the doctors and Hannah to make it stop. She’d known labor would be painful, but she’d been unprepared for just how painful it was or how hard it would be on Nolan to see her in agony.

  “I don’t think I can do this,” she said to him after another particularly awful contraction. As the hours passed and the pain intensified, Hannah began to feel panicky about having a premature baby and what might be ahead for all of them. Her panic fueled his.

  “I’m going to find the doctor,” he said. “You want me to send your mom in?”

  Hannah nodded as her eyes filled with tears. They’d asked for some time alone, but now she really, really wanted her mom.

  Nolan kissed her forehead. “I’ll get her, and I’ll be right back with the doctor.” He left the room, and Molly came in a few minutes later.

  “How’re you doing, honey?”

  Immediately soothed by her mother’s calming presence, Hannah grasped her hand. “The pain is bad. Way worse than I expected.”

  “You need an epidural.”

  Tears she tried to fight back spilled down her cheeks. “I wanted to do it without one.”

  Molly took a tissue from the box on the bedside table and wiped away Hannah’s tears. “There’s no need to suffer when they can give you some relief. First babies can take a while to arrive. Let them make you comfortable.”

  “I’m afraid of the baby being so early.”

  “I have a feeling he or she will be just fine, sweetheart. Look how determined your little one is to be born right now.”

  “I’m scared. I was so ready to do this until it actually happened, and now I’m panicking, which has Nolan all freaked out.”

  “Focus on breathing the way you were taught in the classes. It helps.”

  “How in the world did you do this eight times and twice with twins?”

  Molly laughed. “I have no idea.”

  “You were certifiably insane.”

  “Probably.”

  “Is everyone out there waiting?”

  Molly wiped away more tears from Hannah’s face. “What do you think? Even Max and Caden are here.”

  Before she could reply, another contraction started. Hannah held on tight to her mom’s hand while trying to remember to breathe through the pain. When it finally passed, she was sobbing from the agony.

  Nolan came in with the doctor in tow.

  “I want the epidural,” Hannah said. “Please.”

  “Let’s take a look and see how you’re doing,” the young female doctor said with chirpiness that annoyed Hannah.

  With Nolan on one side of her bed and her mom on the other, Hannah gritted her teeth for the invasive exam that seemed to take forever to complete.

  “You’re doing great, Hannah. You’re almost there.”

  She moaned. “I don’t know if I can do it without something to take the edge off.”

  “Then let’s get you some relief.” The doctor left the room to see to the epidural.

  “I feel like a wimp,” Hannah said.

  “Stop,” Molly said. “There’s nothing wrong with taking something for the pain so you have the strength to push when the time comes.”

  Nolan handed her a cup of ice chips and wiped the sweat from her forehead with a cool cloth that felt heavenly against her fevered skin.

  She’d waited a long time to become a mother, and she wanted to focus on the joy of her child arriving rather than agonizing pain and the debilitating fear of the baby arriving too early. It took about thirty minutes to organize the epidural other than the needle to the back, the procedure was no big deal. But the relief… The relief was almost immediate. Hannah could finally breathe again after hours in agony.

  “Better?” Nolan asked when they had the room to themselves once again.

  “A thousand times better.”

  “Thank God. I couldn’t bear to see you in so much pain.”

  “I tried to go all natural, but—”

  He leaned over the bed rail to kiss her. “You’re doing an amazing job. The only thing that matters is a healthy mom and baby at the end.”

  “I feel bad that the baby is going to have to share his or her birthday with game night,” she said, making him laugh.

  “Hopefully, we’ll get to midnight, and he or she will be born on the twenty-eighth.”

  “I think I can hold off another hour.”

  Taking a seat next to her bed, he cradled her hand between both of his. “I love you so much, Hannah. I hope you know how much I appreciate everything you’ve done to bring our baby into the world.”

  “You’ve taken such good care of both of us.”

  “Least I could do. I can’t wait to see him.”

  “Or her.”

  “Either is fine with me.”

  * * *

  Chapter 11

  We never know the love of a parent till

  we become parents ourselves.

  —Henry Ward Beecher

  The next half hour passed in a blur of comfort even as the monitor recorded increasingly strong contractions. Thank God for drugs, Hannah thought. Right after two in the morning, the doctor returned to check her again and declared her ready to push. Once again, Hannah felt the twinge of panic. What if she couldn’t do it? What if she wasn’t strong enough or—

  “Hannah.”

  While the nurses scurried around the room, making it ready for delivery, she looked up at her husband, who watched over her with the fierce love she’d come to expect from him.

  “Focus. You got this. You’re the strongest person I know. There’s nothing you can’t do if you set your mind to it.”

  He said exactly what she needed to hear, but that was no surprise. He knew her better than anyone, even Hunter.

  Oh God. Hunter! “I can’t do this without Hunter. He should be here.” She began to cry again at the thought of her twin hundreds of miles from her while she brought her first child into the world.

  “Think about what a great surprise he’ll come home to,” Nolan said, stroking her hair. “You want your mom?”

  “Just you,” she said, clinging to his hand.

  “We got this, Hannah. You and me.”

  The nurse directed him to get on the bed behind her to support her while she pushed. Her legs were raised on contraptions attached to the bed and spread so far apart as to be comical under any other circumstances. While she was spread-eagle, people came in and out of the room, focused on the individual roles that were routine to them.

  “It’s funny,” she said to Nolan.

  “What is?”

  “I’ve got my hoo-ha out and proud for the whole world to see, and they walk around like it’s no big deal.”

  “It isn’t to them.”

  “It sure is to us.”

  “Your hoo-ha is a huge big deal to me.”

  Hannah wouldn’t have thought it possible to laugh. “Hopefully, it still will be after you witness what’s about to happen here.”

  He kissed her cheek and tightened his hold on her. “It will always be a big deal to me. You, my love, are the biggest of big deals to me.”

  “I won’t be quite so big after I get this baby out.”

  “Love you, Hannah. If it gets to be too much for you, hold on to me.”

  “That’s the plan.” She looked back at him. “Love you, too.”

  Sitting on a chair, the doctor rolled into position between Hannah’s legs and eyed the monitor that tracked contractions. “You ready to rock and roll, Hannah?”

  Nolan squeezed her hand.

  “We’re ready.”

 
“Okay, here we go. Let’s give it a big push.”

  Hannah pushed as hard as she could. The epidural made it so she could feel only the pressure, which was tremendous, but no pain.

  “That was good,” the doctor said. “Just like that again.”

  Nolan fed her ice chips, wiped the sweat and tears from her face and supported her through each push. Having him to lean on made all the difference.

  She wanted to sleep, but the contractions were coming fast and furious, each one of them a new chance to push.

  “One more big one, Hannah,” the doctor said in that endlessly cheerful tone that had Hannah wishing for the wherewithal to punch her.

  “Ready, sweetheart?” Nolan asked.

  Replying would take focus she didn’t have to spare. She took a huge breath and pushed with every ounce of reserve fortitude she could muster. She pushed until she felt the pressure let up and then sagged into Nolan’s arms.

  “You have a girl!”

  “You did it, honey,” Nolan said, sounding tearful behind her.

  For once, the doctor’s cheerfulness didn’t annoy her. She was too full of unreasonable joy to be annoyed about anything. A girl. They had a girl!

  The OB immediately handed off the baby to the neonatal specialist, who whisked her to a warmer they had set up on the other side of the room.

  “Why is she so quiet? Isn’t she supposed to cry?”

  “She’s taking it all in,” the neonatal specialist said.

  “It’s okay that she didn’t cry?”

  “It’s fine, but she’s small. Just over four pounds, and she’ll need some time in the NICU for her lungs to develop further.”

  “Can I see her?” Hannah asked through tears that blinded her.

  “Just for a few minutes,” the neonatal doctor said. “These little ones lose their body heat very quickly, so we need to get her into the warmer.”

  He brought her to them, attached to oxygen and wrapped in a soft yellow blanket, and carefully placed her in Hannah’s arms. She’d never seen a smaller baby, and a pang of fear struck in the vicinity of her heart. “She’s going to be okay?” Hannah asked the specialist.